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Old 05-02-2011, 03:11 PM   #31
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Re: Why shouldn't you adopt out of your birth order?

I'd talk to the doctor's and see what they think and really watch the videos over and over again. One of the logic's of not adopting two unrelated children is to give that child time to adjust and if you adopt two at once, especially with medical needs, its a lot and those kids are going to need a lot of help with bonding/attachment as they are also older and the gov't/agency just wants to make sure they get the individual attention they need. I realize it breaks your heart not to take both, but personally I agree with it.

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Old 05-02-2011, 07:09 PM   #32
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Re: Why shouldn't you adopt out of your birth order?

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I'd talk to the doctor's and see what they think and really watch the videos over and over again. One of the logic's of not adopting two unrelated children is to give that child time to adjust and if you adopt two at once, especially with medical needs, its a lot and those kids are going to need a lot of help with bonding/attachment as they are also older and the gov't/agency just wants to make sure they get the individual attention they need. I realize it breaks your heart not to take both, but personally I agree with it.
Yeah, I know it's really best, I really want to focus on attaching and bonding and that child's medical issues, so I know it's not a good idea to take two, though my heart wants to
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Old 05-02-2011, 07:58 PM   #33
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Re: Why shouldn't you adopt out of your birth order?

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Yeah, I know it's really best, I really want to focus on attaching and bonding and that child's medical issues, so I know it's not a good idea to take two, though my heart wants to
You can always do a second later on.

Have you seen this yahoo group - you may want to try them or see if there are others like them for support:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Adopti...erebral_Palsy/
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Old 05-02-2011, 09:58 PM   #34
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Re: Why shouldn't you adopt out of your birth order?

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You can always do a second later on.

Have you seen this yahoo group - you may want to try them or see if there are others like them for support:

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Adopti...erebral_Palsy/
I hadn't seen that. I should look for one with spina bifida. I'm on a spina bifida yahoo group and a couple forums and there's lots of families that are/have adopted, but most adoptions come from China. I'm also on a yahoo group for families that have adopted from India, but it's not specific to special needs.
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Old 05-02-2011, 10:02 PM   #35
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Re: Why shouldn't you adopt out of your birth order?

Even though its a different country they can still clue you in on what to look for and what to do and maybe even give you someone who is skilled at adoption and CP to look at the videos if your doc's don't have enough information for you. I used to keep up with several of the yahoo especially for scams and used to look at the international just in case we wanted to consider it but its good to keep up with multiple of them including the basic international adoption boards & special needs.

In the end, the best advice I can give you is trust your gut feelings. The times I didn't listen to myself, I always made choices that were not best for us (though in the end it all worked out exactly how it should so I can't say they were mistakes as if they were and I had done them "right" I would not have my son and I can't imagine my life without him. He makes being a mom amazing & brings out all the joys of adoption. I wish that for you for your second child.)
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Old 05-02-2011, 10:11 PM   #36
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Re: Why shouldn't you adopt out of your birth order?

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Even though its a different country they can still clue you in on what to look for and what to do and maybe even give you someone who is skilled at adoption and CP to look at the videos if your doc's don't have enough information for you. I used to keep up with several of the yahoo especially for scams and used to look at the international just in case we wanted to consider it but its good to keep up with multiple of them including the basic international adoption boards & special needs.

In the end, the best advice I can give you is trust your gut feelings. The times I didn't listen to myself, I always made choices that were not best for us (though in the end it all worked out exactly how it should so I can't say they were mistakes as if they were and I had done them "right" I would not have my son and I can't imagine my life without him. He makes being a mom amazing & brings out all the joys of adoption. I wish that for you for your second child.)
THank you . I just found a yahoo group for international special needs adoptions and I'm joining
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