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Old 05-06-2011, 10:26 AM   #21
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Meh. Didnt realize anyone had a monopoly on pregnancy.

I have basically always been pregnant alone and no one ever gave a crap either. No ones pregnancy is any more important then anyone elses. I dont want people fawning all over me anyways when i am pregnant....its a long time and lots of people are pregnant all the time.

If people are hurting your feelings then speak up!!! Your family should not treat you like dirt so say something.

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Old 05-06-2011, 11:17 AM   #22
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Re: Why does this always happen to me???

I can relate. But it involves more than pregnancy. When I became engaged, my grandparents didn't even congratulate me. When I was first pregnant, it was just me. No congrats. When we got married (on my due date, none the less! lol) grandparents didn't seem to even notice and STILL to this day call him my boyfriend!!!!

My cousin found out about her pregnancy only a month after I knew I was. She had broken up with the father. They got back to gether, adn within a month were married. My grandparents were sooo happy for her, gave them $500 as a wedding gift, and made a big to do about it. Apparently it is ok to get pregnant outside of wedlock as long as you get married before anyone knows you are pregnant.

We had a joint baby shower. My mom called my aunt (I live an hr away from family) to ask of we could use her home for the baby shower so that family wouldn't have to drive all the way to me for hte shower. She said my cousin had already called her and asked. That was as far as any baby shower planning went. My aunt sent out invites to people, our joint family and some of my friends, but none of my friends came. When I actually got to the baby shower, there was only one table for gifts. They thought it was a good idea to put my cousin's gifts ON the table, and mine UNDER to keep them separated. Someone (not me or my family, a distant relative) pointed out that that was rude and derogatory, so they got me a much smaller table. My cousin's table was loaded on top, under, and around all sides. I think I hardly had my entire top of my table filled. And while much of the family bought her brand new items, I got gifted things from consignment sales (which I'd be TOTALLY fine with and people even asked if they could, BUT those SAME people bought my coousin brand new. I'd be understanding if they bought us BOTH consignment... but not me used and her brand new.. I thought that was really, really awful of them).


In some ways it was nice to talk to someone else about pregnancy and concerns, but we hardly talked.

I think being pregnant with another person can be a wonderufl thing, but NOT when family makes it out to be something awful.

It doesn't matter if she becomes pregnant with her second the same time as I become pregnant with my second, because even if I'm pregnant alone, I still will be ignored, left out and an outcast.

All this said, I did have one friend I was pregnant with. She was due in June, me in September. I loved having someone else to share my concerns and thoughts with, someone who was ahead of me showing and telling me what to expect along the way.
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Old 05-06-2011, 11:45 AM   #23
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Originally Posted by crunch!910
I can relate. But it involves more than pregnancy. When I became engaged, my grandparents didn't even congratulate me. When I was first pregnant, it was just me. No congrats. When we got married (on my due date, none the less! lol) grandparents didn't seem to even notice and STILL to this day call him my boyfriend!!!!

My cousin found out about her pregnancy only a month after I knew I was. She had broken up with the father. They got back to gether, adn within a month were married. My grandparents were sooo happy for her, gave them $500 as a wedding gift, and made a big to do about it. Apparently it is ok to get pregnant outside of wedlock as long as you get married before anyone knows you are pregnant.

We had a joint baby shower. My mom called my aunt (I live an hr away from family) to ask of we could use her home for the baby shower so that family wouldn't have to drive all the way to me for hte shower. She said my cousin had already called her and asked. That was as far as any baby shower planning went. My aunt sent out invites to people, our joint family and some of my friends, but none of my friends came. When I actually got to the baby shower, there was only one table for gifts. They thought it was a good idea to put my cousin's gifts ON the table, and mine UNDER to keep them separated. Someone (not me or my family, a distant relative) pointed out that that was rude and derogatory, so they got me a much smaller table. My cousin's table was loaded on top, under, and around all sides. I think I hardly had my entire top of my table filled. And while much of the family bought her brand new items, I got gifted things from consignment sales (which I'd be TOTALLY fine with and people even asked if they could, BUT those SAME people bought my coousin brand new. I'd be understanding if they bought us BOTH consignment... but not me used and her brand new.. I thought that was really, really awful of them).

In some ways it was nice to talk to someone else about pregnancy and concerns, but we hardly talked.

I think being pregnant with another person can be a wonderufl thing, but NOT when family makes it out to be something awful.

It doesn't matter if she becomes pregnant with her second the same time as I become pregnant with my second, because even if I'm pregnant alone, I still will be ignored, left out and an outcast.

All this said, I did have one friend I was pregnant with. She was due in June, me in September. I loved having someone else to share my concerns and thoughts with, someone who was ahead of me showing and telling me what to expect along the way.
Do you think it would have been the same even if you weren't pregnant at the same time though? It sounds to me like you have some rude family members and they wouldn't have treated you any differently.

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Old 05-06-2011, 11:45 AM   #24
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Re: Why does this always happen to me???

I can see how having an annoying relative be pregnant at the same time as you would be well, annoying

We are kind of loners out here because we have no family in this area and only a few friends. So I've never really had to deal with it. I have an ex co-worker who is pregnant and due after me, and a girl who went to my high school is due before me...but the only reason I know about it is because of facebook LOL!
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Old 05-06-2011, 12:08 PM   #25
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Re: Why does this always happen to me???

My family always seems to be pregnant in pairs. I don't really understand why it would bother anyone to be pregnant with someone else. All babies are blessings & it's not like the excitement is divided. It's usually multiplied. And even if no one is as excited as you think they should, why do you care? It's your family. All that matters is you & your husband are excited about adding to it.
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Old 05-06-2011, 12:31 PM   #26
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Re: Why does this always happen to me???

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My family always seems to be pregnant in pairs. I don't really understand why it would bother anyone to be pregnant with someone else. All babies are blessings & it's not like the excitement is divided. It's usually multiplied. And even if no one is as excited as you think they should, why do you care? It's your family. All that matters is you & your husband are excited about adding to it.
I think the entire point of the post was that the excitement is divided in some cases. It's not the norm, but the excitement most certainly has been divided in my experience.

Anyway, I love being pregnant with close friends/relatives. I just get annoyed when I'm high-risk and my own MIL can't even bother to ask how I'm doing, but calls at least every 3-4 days to update me on someone's else pregnancy... and then I'm asked to plan a baby shower for someone else, one week before my EDD. Find me someone who wouldn't be annoyed by that, LOL!
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Old 05-06-2011, 01:40 PM   #27
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Originally Posted by mama.timms

I think the entire point of the post was that the excitement is divided in some cases. It's not the norm, but the excitement most certainly has been divided in my experience.

Anyway, I love being pregnant with close friends/relatives. I just get annoyed when I'm high-risk and my own MIL can't even bother to ask how I'm doing, but calls at least every 3-4 days to update me on someone's else pregnancy... and then I'm asked to plan a baby shower for someone else, one week before my EDD. Find me someone who wouldn't be annoyed by that, LOL!
I don't see the excitement as divided in your case, just that your MIL isn't really being that considerate to you and your pregnancy. I would be annoyed, but it would have nothing to do with the fact that someone else is pregnant.

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Old 05-06-2011, 04:19 PM   #28
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Re: Why does this always happen to me???

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Originally Posted by mama.timms View Post
I think the entire point of the post was that the excitement is divided in some cases. It's not the norm, but the excitement most certainly has been divided in my experience.

Anyway, I love being pregnant with close friends/relatives. I just get annoyed when I'm high-risk and my own MIL can't even bother to ask how I'm doing, but calls at least every 3-4 days to update me on someone's else pregnancy... and then I'm asked to plan a baby shower for someone else, one week before my EDD. Find me someone who wouldn't be annoyed by that, LOL!
Why the crap would YOU plan this person's baby shower? I would laugh in her face! Sorry she isn't being more considerate
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Old 05-06-2011, 07:00 PM   #29
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Re: Why does this always happen to me???

I am the opposite, I have been hounding my friends to TTC around the same time as me! I want someone to experience it with, especially so LO will have playmates. My oldest has several kids in the family her age, but DD2 is a couple years younger and is left out a lot. Now I just got a (very faint) BFP, and this one will not have anyone his/her age since all of my siblings are done having kids. DH has 2 sisters but they are younger and don't live close and one isn't planning to have kids for a long time.

The only time I had this issue was when I was pregnant with DD1, and it was the other way around. My stepmom had a miscarriage and was trying again for her first. She was so upset that I got pregnant before her, even though we were married and planning to try ourselves. She did get pregnant again about halfway through my pregnancy (so did my sister). I was happy for her, but even after DD was born she still would not hold her and pretty much ruined my first-pregnancy experience because she was so jealous that she didn't get all the attention. I had to walk around eggshells and not talk about my pregnancy so I wouldn't upset her. So yeah, I just try to be happy for any mom as all babies are blessings. It's not really about me.
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Old 05-06-2011, 08:06 PM   #30
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Re: Why does this always happen to me???

Honestly, being bothered by that never occurred to me. Both my dh and I have NUMEROUS siblings, so the odds are slim-to-none that pregnancies will not overlap; it's inevitable. I actually love having cousins the same age as my kids that they can grow up with, play with and bond with. And, nope, I'm not particularly close or friendly with all the parents of the cousins that my kids love.
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