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Old 05-16-2011, 07:41 PM   #11
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Re: AP'ing and how kids "respond"

:-) I like your post.

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Fabulous post!



My girls are all weaned now at 3, 6, and 10. My 3 year old co-sleeps with me probably 3-4 nights a week and at least one night a week my 6 year old co-sleeps. I encourage her to sleep in her own bed(mostly because a 3 year old, mommy, 6 year old, and a cat in a full-size bed is kinda tight) but I don't kick her out or tell her no if she wants to snuggle because I love snuggling her. They were all worn until about 3 as they tolerated and desired it. I try my darndest to discipline as gently as possible using natural consequences and allowing them the freedom to make their own choices within reason. They were all breastfed, the younger two nursed until their second birthdays. They are not "unruly" and they do have boundaries and limits and expectations placed upon them. Can they get wild? Sure, just like every other kid. But they are not out of control and bratty breaking things and jumping on furniture. They are polite respectful kids most of the time who try hard to please adults and be kind people. They LOOK a littlel quirky sometimes but they aren't unruly brats. I let them do things like dye their hair with semi-perm haircolor or get their ears pierced twice(my oldest when she was 7) or wear dress-up clothing and rainboots to the grocery store or a monkey halloween costume instead of a jacket out to the store since it's all fleece and weather appropriate. I let them splash in puddles and dance in the rain and make messes outside or in the kitchen. I dont' think that's the signs of unruly children. Do I let them dance NAKED in the rain? no. we have neighbors and it's inappropriate. They have limits, they just might be different limits than other people think are appropriate. I dont' care what other people think about how my kids look. I only care that my children grow up to be respectful kind and responsible people who have love for themselves and others and are a credit to my exhusband and myself.

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Old 05-16-2011, 07:45 PM   #12
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Re: AP'ing and how kids "respond"

Considering how badly they'll want to be independent and get the heck away from you once they hit teens in 10 years, I don't think having them all over you for 3 years is that big of a deal, kwim? Cherish it, embrace it, and enjoy it while it lasts.

Last edited by Hillargh; 05-16-2011 at 07:49 PM.
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Old 05-16-2011, 08:34 PM   #13
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Re: AP'ing and how kids "respond"

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AP is NOT a set of certain behaviors that parents "do." It's an entire philosophy that basically means responding to your child's individual physical and emotional NEEDS. That doesn't exclude being able to set boundaries/discipline/punish. Just because someone co-sleeps and practices extended nursing doesn't mean that they are automatically applying AP concepts to their overall parenting. I've met some crib using, formula feeding parents who were far more attached and sensitive to their kids' needs than some parents who cosleep, babywear, etc. It's all a matter of how and why you apply the practices you do-not the actual practices themselves.
This. I didn't BF, co-sleep, or baby-wear my now 4yr and he is VERY attached to me, not unruly, just likes to be with me. He has boundaries, he tests them, he's a typical 4 year old.
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Old 05-16-2011, 09:22 PM   #14
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Re: AP'ing and how kids "respond"

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Originally Posted by mcpforever View Post
AP is NOT a set of certain behaviors that parents "do." It's an entire philosophy that basically means responding to your child's individual physical and emotional NEEDS. That doesn't exclude being able to set boundaries/discipline/punish. Just because someone co-sleeps and practices extended nursing doesn't mean that they are automatically applying AP concepts to their overall parenting. I've met some crib using, formula feeding parents who were far more attached and sensitive to their kids' needs than some parents who cosleep, babywear, etc. It's all a matter of how and why you apply the practices you do-not the actual practices themselves.
EXACTLY!
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Old 05-17-2011, 08:08 AM   #15
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Re: AP'ing and how kids "respond"

We are complete AP and NP and our boys are not like that. We have a almost 4 year old who listens, very friendly, very independant, etc. He co-slept until 3 years old when he weaned himself. We don't spank or CIO, none of that, but that doesn't mean we don't have discipline and boundaries. ds2 is still EBF, worn a lot and co-sleeps but he's only 13 months. He has just started being less dependant now that he is mobile. I think people forget that ALL kids are different no matter what way they parent.
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