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Old 05-19-2011, 08:06 AM   #1
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Kids behavior

Right now I have 2 kids, dd who is 3 and ds who is 5. Lo due next month. My kids are some of the easiest kids for the most part. At least when it's just me. My dh travels a lot for work and on the days he's gone the kids are so good. We can run errands, house stays picked up, they're helpful. But then DH comes home and they turn into terrors testing boundaries. I can't really say terrors because they're still easy in comparison to many kids we know. I'm trying to figure out how to stop this annoying cycle so that I don't resent my husband for coming home because the kids are easier when he's gone.

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Old 05-19-2011, 09:33 AM   #2
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Re: Kids behavior

Does DH discipline them? If not, he needs to. DH needs to exert his authority when he's home so the kids know that you and DH are a team and that what both of you says is the way it is.
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Old 05-19-2011, 09:42 AM   #3
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Re: Kids behavior

He actually does discipline them and follows the same house rules. This is one thing we are totally on the same page about. The kids just like to push his buttons and battle for our attention. If DH and I don't talk then kids behave but that doesn't make for a very happy house.
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Old 05-19-2011, 10:14 AM   #4
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Re: Kids behavior

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Originally Posted by maple79vt View Post
He actually does discipline them and follows the same house rules. This is one thing we are totally on the same page about. The kids just like to push his buttons and battle for our attention. If DH and I don't talk then kids behave but that doesn't make for a very happy house.
I read your first post this morning, but this puts things into perspective better.

We have the same issue, except it is when our school aged child gets home from school and the two little ones vye for his attention. I send him outside to play when it gets overwhelming.

We have it a little on the weekends with Daddy, too. So far, our solution is to remind them, "Mommy and Daddy are talking. You may have your turn in a minute. If you interrupt again, you will be in your room by yourself." Interrupting includes butting into the conversation, dancing around to get our attention, acting pitiful/angry, or just making noise for the sake of making noise. We fininsh our conversation and then acknowledge the child. Sometimes, they will stand quietly and wait (sometimes they form a line! ) and other times they just go off and play.

It's not perfect, but they are getting better.

ETA: We also try to make sure that DH gets one on one time with each of the kids. It makes a big difference when they know they have his undevided attention because they went shopping together and no one else got to go.
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Last edited by mcpforever; 05-19-2011 at 10:15 AM. Reason: had to share more "sage" advice
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Old 05-19-2011, 11:41 AM   #5
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Re: Kids behavior



We are having similar issues here...waiting for more responses
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Old 05-19-2011, 01:16 PM   #6
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Re: Kids behavior

If y'all are on the same page as far as discipline, then try what Melissa has said. We are working with interruptions at our house, too. I definitely agree tht one-on-one time can help. It doesn't have to be a long time, either. I know that for my kids, 15 minutes can make a huge difference in their behavior.
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Old 05-19-2011, 01:29 PM   #7
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Re: Kids behavior

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Originally Posted by mcpforever View Post

We have it a little on the weekends with Daddy, too. So far, our solution is to remind them, "Mommy and Daddy are talking. You may have your turn in a minute. If you interrupt again, you will be in your room by yourself." Interrupting includes butting into the conversation, dancing around to get our attention, acting pitiful/angry, or just making noise for the sake of making noise. We fininsh our conversation and then acknowledge the child. Sometimes, they will stand quietly and wait (sometimes they form a line! ) and other times they just go off and play.

It's not perfect, but they are getting better.

ETA: We also try to make sure that DH gets one on one time with each of the kids. It makes a big difference when they know they have his undevided attention because they went shopping together and no one else got to go.


We do pretty much this same thing.

I find that the kids just really want attention. They don't WANT to be bad, they just want Daddy to play with them. We reprimand and discipline them for interrupting. They have to wait quietly or they get in trouble (lately a big consequence has been taking a toy away).

Our 4 yr old is really catching on quickly. She will come into the room, start talking/yelling/shouting at us, then catch herself just as we look to reprimand her... she'll say, "Oh sorry! I see you are talking and I will stand here quietly and wait my turn." And she does! Totally floored me the first time she did it.

My 2.5 yr old... well, he's a work in progress, but he'll get there.

It's all about consistency.
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Old 05-19-2011, 02:00 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kiliki
Our 4 yr old is really catching on quickly. She will come into the room, start talking/yelling/shouting at us, then catch herself just as we look to reprimand her... she'll say, "Oh sorry! I see you are talking and I will stand here quietly and wait my turn." And she does! Totally floored me the first time she did it.
So cute!!!
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Old 05-19-2011, 04:04 PM   #9
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Re: Kids behavior

Our kids know that they can touch us on the arm when we're having a conversation to get our attention in a suttle way. This usually works well, but lately I think I need to crack down on how impatient they are. Cause really, they can wait to tell me that they want a drink, ect. They won't waste away to nothingness.

I think I might try going back to something I used to do when my dh would get back from a trip. He'd no sooner then get home from being gone and I'd leave for about an hour or so. We did this because it worked for our kids. I just don't always want to leave when he gets home if you kwim. But they get that daddy time without mommy in the way. It's the constant adjustments with him on the road several days a week. We'll get this all settled and thet he's home bound (works from home) until after the baby comes so the kids will get too used to having home and we'll have to start all over again.
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