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Old 05-20-2011, 07:13 AM   #1
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Need Advice... SAHM's...

So this was mega long, but I want people to actually read it so I'm just shortening the whole idea.

I do online classes full time and have been SAHM for 2 years.

2.5 y/o son was just TOO much work (getting into everything) so he just started PT daycare (MWF). Daycare is $90/wk and a 20 minute drive round-trip (which for here, is kind of high and a long drive).

Student loans can cover daycare, but then I need income for us. Haven't been able to find a job for 6 months now. Doing WAHM store will help, but won't bring in a ton of money. If I don't use the student loans for daycare, they can be a back-up emergency fund or we can use part to make up for me not working.

If I pull him out of daycare, I lose his spot if I find a job and need him back there again. And daycare is VERY hard to find.

I need "me" time. DS has not taken naps for over a year, but now that he is in daycare he does. (He also seems to be tired if he really plays hard in the morning). I could use naptime to either nap myself, get WAHM stuff done, or do classwork. To get out of the house, we could go to the park or walk the mall (I hate being in the house day after day).

I feel like I already don't seem him very often, just with him gone 3 days. I can't imagine how I would feel with me working FT and him only home nights and wknds. Especially because we don't "have" to do it right now.

Advice?? I can do classwork with my laptop outside or at the park. Maybe try to fit in WAHM stuff during a nap (if one takes place!) Does he need interaction with other kids, or will he truly be happy at home with me? (He used to be excited for daycare... now it seems he doesn't care/doesn't like going). And it's only Day 3 (week 1).

I am TTC #2, so if I do get pregnant, I know for sure I won't be able to work FT and do school. I just can't figure out how I can get stuff done (laundry, sewing, classwork) with a toddler that gets into everything. What do you do to keep your little ones happy? And to have them be happy they are home with you and not playing with other kids?


Happy Wife to Handsome, Hard Working DH.
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The Twin Beans (3) and Baby (18 Mos)

Last edited by MyKzooFamily; 05-20-2011 at 07:27 AM.
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Old 05-20-2011, 07:21 AM   #2
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Re: Need Advice... SAHM's...

I do understand how hard it can be to find a good daycare and need a spot (one of the main reasons I ended up becoming a SAHM because the waiting lists were so long and I just didn't feel comfortable with the available centers).

DS is only 19 months so he is still napping, but I have found that if we are really active in the mornings he sleeps very well at naptime, if we just have a so so morning his naps are very short. If you decide to keep him at home everyday, try to plan some "exciting" things in the morning. play dates, park activities, outdoor active play. If he doesn't nap, maybe you can institute a "quiet time" I have a friend with a 3.5yr old and for the year I have known her, he has quiet time the same time every afternoon and most often he will take a nap. She puts him in his room, closes the door and she is doing work in the room next door so she can keep an ear on him. Maybe having a routine of "quiet time" will help you get your work done, and let him have some time to either nap or play quietly. I don't personally know how long this took to become such an easy schedule for them but maybe others have suggestions.
Andrea -SAHM to Sean 10-09, Owen 1-13, and married to my best friend!
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Old 05-20-2011, 08:54 PM   #3
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Re: Need Advice... SAHM's...

I don't have advice in some areas, but I can tell you that my daughter loves to be home with me, and we are together practically 24/7. You'd think she'd want to branch out, but no, she wants mama.
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Old 05-21-2011, 07:39 AM   #4
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Re: Need Advice... SAHM's...

I second the quiet time if your LO doesn't nap! I also find that when we don't go for our daily walk then park (usually outside for 2.5 ish hours) then dd fights going for a nap!
I also will put on her favorite show (dora) if I really need to get something done that she would be in the way for. Other than that she helps if I'm washing floors she gets a rag and helps, same with dishes, baking (she pours and breaks eggs), and cleaning up toys etc.
The thing I learned having 2 so close together is schedule!! Laundry gets thrown on the bed after the dryer and folded after the kids are in bed, everything else I try and let them help (within reason). It makes things happen a bit slower but it keeps the kids entertained and you teach them stuff in the process!
Also a physical activity for at least an hour a day, we walk for an hour before we go to the park, then we go home for lunch then after lunch is nap.
Good luck
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Old 05-22-2011, 07:58 PM   #5
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Re: Need Advice... SAHM's...

I won't lie--it's really hard. I'm not a student, but I have three different WAH jobs that require a significant amount of time in front of a computer and focused mental brainpower. Whereas most of the time when I'm cleaning or whatever, she's happy to watch a video or play by herself, when the laptop is out, she sees it as direct competition and is in my face wanting to see it or wanting it to go away. I take it to the park or indoor playground and work, and I have to deal with the dirty looks from other people who think I'm just ignoring my kid(s) (I watch another little guy during the week) in favor of electronic entertainment. I used to be able to work during naptime, but not only is DD a pretty terrible napper and always has been, but for the duration of this pregnancy, all I've wanted to do is nap with her. The hardest part is the almost complete loss of "me" time--when I'm awake and the kids are awake, I'm playing with them or cleaning the house. After DD has gone to bed, I'm either working or cleaning. If I'm NOT working or cleaning, I'm feeling guilty for not doing one of the above. Depending on my workload for the week, I'll occasionally drop DD off at work with DH at the end of his day so that I can go to the library or Starbucks and work until they kick me out. On Saturdays I get up early and work and DH takes DD out to breakfast and to run errands, meaning that I feel like I miss out on our time as a family there. Basically, it's like we work different shifts, and it's hard sometimes, as anyone who's been there will tell you.

So... it's not easy. It works for our family right now and allows me to stay home, but it's hard.
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