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Old 04-20-2011, 02:04 AM   #11
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Re: any single WOHM out there?

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For me I adopted as a single mom so I have always been the only one financially responsible. The downturn of the economy took a big hit out of my paycheck, and there are times when I struggle to pay the daycare payment. I make the daycare payment my priority payment because if it doesn't get paid then then my son can not attend and then I can't go to work...its a vicious cycle. The daycare payment is about 850 a month. When I started the adoption process for another child I was making alot more money..when the baby does come I will be working basically to pay daycare and with less than 200 dollars left over a month. So not sure how that is going to work out but it will. I don't recieve any support at all financially.
yup, this is the conundrum. working and then sometimes you really wish//need there to be more left after paying for childcare. and then that cushion gets even thinner after the second child.

it sounds like your work load might fluctuate ("...there are times when i struggle...". how do you handle the variation in your income/work?

i want to somehow jump from making the small amount i make (still qualifies me for childcare grants) to minimally $65K a year (this would cover childcare, rent, groceries & transportation - basically paycheck to paycheck), or preferably $80K (a little spare room to put into retirement, kids' education, house down payment & to not live paycheck to paycheck). i know that it may sound kinda weird, but anywhere from $30K - $60K is super rough because i won't qualify for any childcare help that i know of and i won't make enough to even pay rent. rent here for even a one bedroom is $1500/mo and gas is $4.35/gallon.

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Last edited by mamamaria; 04-27-2011 at 02:58 AM.
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Old 04-20-2011, 08:58 AM   #12
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Re: any single WOHM out there?

Single WOHM here!

It's VERY VERY tough, but very rewarding, satisfying and...did i say very TOUGH???

The biggest thing for me is consistency with the kids routines, discipline, etc. I also am big on sleep and ME time I think it's important for overall well being and sanity. so what my ME time may not be going to the movies...but after I get off work and pick the kids, it is ALL about them from then until they go to sleep at night, every night. Once they are in bed, I clean, sew, goof off on the computer, once in a while watch a netflix movie, exercise, paint my nails or what ever floats my fancy. I then shower and go to bed and shoot for 7-8 hours every night. My kids sleep well unless they are sick..so really it works out for all of us. a big adjustment recently was adding tball into the mix and changing daycares for DS2..i'm now learning to adjust to driving 2 different places for the kids in the morning and the practices and games for tball in the week.
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Old 04-27-2011, 03:01 AM   #13
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Re: any single WOHM out there?

quick update: my toddler is about to start daycare and i'm looking forward to an easier time...hoping...and preschooler will start a 6 hour program. i'm really excited!
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Old 05-03-2011, 04:19 PM   #14
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update, yesterday my toddler had her first day in day care. i stayed with her for an hour to get acquainted and then left. it was a super short day & she didn't cry the whole time

today i stayed with her for an hour again, to acquaint her with the group of kids she didn't meet yesterday. she cried when i left this time it was very hard to leave her
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Old 05-06-2011, 12:02 AM   #15
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Re: any single WOHM out there?

I'm also single and wohm. I am VERY lucky and am able to live with my mom rent free at the moment, I do help with quite a few of the bills though. Honestly, I struggle enough I have no idea how I would have survived with out my mom letting us live here. Perri loves it since it gives her some Gamma time, and occasionally my mom will watch her so I can have some time for myself. Other than that though I do it all. It wasn't my moms choice to have my daughter, so I try not to ask her to do the various things associated with Perri.

As for how I get it all done? I don't. I usually stay up until about midnight trying to catch up on laundry/dishes/studying/work/etc, and then I'm back up at 530 to start the day all over again. I am very independent, and have a really hard time accepting help from people, so I tend to be harder on myself about getting things done. I do have people asking/volunteering to watch Perr, but I guess I feel like if I take them up on their offer then she/I will be a burden.

As far as a life outside of my daughter, I don't really have one. I had a really close group of friends before I had her, and was able to maintain a close friendship with them until recently. I am the only one in the group that has a child and now that she's older (2.5) it's much harder to hang out with them. Needless to say, they don't have the same interests as a toddler, so even if I do go to some group thing, I usually am spending the time trying to find ways to entertain her rather than actually see my friends.

Ugg, this has been really long winded, Sorry!! But you are definitely not alone in being tired!
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Old 05-06-2011, 12:37 AM   #16
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I did it only with one - newborn to 3 (when I married DH). For the most part it was very easy. She was a super easy kid from the very beginning. Messes were never really messes. The only thing that was hard was she had severe eczema for a long time and there was a period that she cried and screamed (because it was so bad) for hours every night. I was tired then. I slept on my lunch break. We socialized with friends (we had moved from CA to Guam) and then I met my now dh and he and I would go out after she was asleep for the night. So well balanced.

My odds dad and I had split up before I knew I was pregnant. He pays monthly support . I agree that daycare issues are the worse. It's hard to find good care at an affordable rate that's flexible.

Good luck mama! You can do it and then will look back and wonder why you thought it was so difficult. Don't sweat the small stuff. =)
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Old 05-13-2011, 01:59 PM   #17
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Re: any single WOHM out there?

earlier this week i moved my preschooler from a part day (3hr) program to a full day (4 to 11 hr program). i introduced him to the program slowly, stayed with him for a little bit each day and lengthening his stay from 4 to 7 hours slowly over the week.

he's having a hard time with the change, but i'm getting more things done and feeling like it's getting easier each day!
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Old 05-13-2011, 08:25 PM   #18
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Re: any single WOHM out there?

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Originally Posted by mamamaria View Post
earlier this week i moved my preschooler from a part day (3hr) program to a full day (4 to 11 hr program). i introduced him to the program slowly, stayed with him for a little bit each day and lengthening his stay from 4 to 7 hours slowly over the week.

he's having a hard time with the change, but i'm getting more things done and feeling like it's getting easier each day!
Good luck...He'll get used to it after a while! I recently had to switch daycares for my youngest due to some things I wasn't in agreement with, safety, etc (and a 4 day hospital stay due to rotavirus the daycare failed to tell us another child had )..He's doing better at the new place, though he still cries a bit when I drop him off...they say within a minute or two's time he's happy though My 5 yr old is about to start summer camp for 9 weeks during the summer and im not looking forward to the no expense of prek to the full exense of summer camp i do get partial help through the county as a working mom andm y salary is on the lower end. Thankfully he'll start kindergarten beginning of august and we won't have that full expense except for aftershool care
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Old 06-03-2011, 01:39 PM   #19
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my kid didN'T cry for the first time during drop off at the new class. whew what a relief

i've been looking into going back to school, asking around, and checking out local programs, and job availability. it seems that nursing is a great fit for a single parent. any thoughts? i'm going to try making a poll...
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