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Old 06-15-2011, 06:47 AM   #21
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Re: I need to understand something about those not bf.

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Originally Posted by greengranny View Post
Honestly? Do you really want my answer?

Because I believe in my core that every baby should be entitled to the most basic, perfect food created especially for him/her. Because if baby animals don't get colostrum they don't survive, and I believe that, even though humans have found a substitute for breast milk, it is not the same and that something is missing. Because a baby is born with a natural reflex to latch on to their mother's breast and it hurts me, truly hurts me that with all of the horrific things babies are put through after birth, that they are denied the benefits of doing so.

So again, I just can't help but wonder why...
I agree with you 100% here mama. I have exclusivly FF'd, Exclusivley BF'd and now I am BF'ing and supplementing with formula, so no judgement from me at all. But it does make me upset when Moms won't even TRY to BF (and I was one of those moms, with my first, and I regret it a lot) All babies deserve thier mamas milk for even just a few days, espscially the beginning!

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Old 06-15-2011, 07:00 AM   #22
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Re: I need to understand something about those not bf.

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and it hurts me, truly hurts me that with all of the horrific things babies are put through after birth, that they are denied the benefits of doing so.
I can't wrap my head around caring so much about what another baby eats that you are truly hurt by it.

Really, this thread just appears as a poorly disguised attempt to show FF moms the error of their ways. Despite protestations to the contrary, it really doesn't come off as an honest question. The choices of words used and the explanation of the reasons why carry a lot of judgement behind them.
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Old 06-15-2011, 07:25 AM   #23
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Re: I need to understand something about those not bf.

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I can't wrap my head around caring so much about what another baby eats that you are truly hurt by it.

Really, this thread just appears as a poorly disguised attempt to show FF moms the error of their ways. Despite protestations to the contrary, it really doesn't come off as an honest question. The choices of words used and the explanation of the reasons why carry a lot of judgement behind them.
If you're so bothered by the thread, why keep coming back? Everyone is free to ask questions. I feel the way the OP does about circumcision. All of us have our issues that trigger strong emotions and have questions about it, and try to understand how others could make a decision that we see as so different/(maybe wrong).

To the OP. I FF my first because I had extreme PPD and not enough information or support to know what I was doing. When I nursed my son, even though I contacted countless lactation consultants who said he was doing it perfectly, it felt like I was nursing a piranha! No bleed nipples or anything, just extreme pain. He was also early and he screamed and threw up constantly because he had issues with everything I ate. I was more informed with my second and have successfully nursed her for 10.5 months with no signs of stopping.
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Old 06-15-2011, 07:42 AM   #24
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Re: I need to understand something about those not bf.

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I can think of lots of reasons-

She wants to completely equally co-parent with her husband.

She has to go back to work at a job where pumping will be difficult and she doesn't to deal with a baby who won't take a bottle or drink formula. Or she would rather never have her supply come in then deal with abruptly not pumping/nursing.

She has issues with being touched. These can stem from sexual assault or sensory issues.

She's struggled in the past and wants to just focus on establishing a relationship with her new baby and not on stressing out over establishing her supply.

She just doesn't want to.

I know you didn't intend this post to sound judgy but it does. Formula feeding is a sensitive issue around here and threads like this only deepen the schism. Also your assuming that people are consist in all their choices. They're not. Inconsistency is inherent in human nature. People frequently make life choices that are illogical.

Choosing not to breast feed doesn't make you a bad mom. Choosing to breast feed past 2 doesn't make you a bad mom. Choosing not to feed your child makes you a bad mom.


Although I will admit I get a bit judgy when I see soda in bottles...Really lady your 15 month old demanded his own bottle of RC cola?
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Old 06-15-2011, 07:43 AM   #25
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Re: I need to understand something about those not bf.

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Originally Posted by happysmileylady View Post
I can't wrap my head around caring so much about what another baby eats that you are truly hurt by it.

Really, this thread just appears as a poorly disguised attempt to show FF moms the error of their ways. Despite protestations to the contrary, it really doesn't come off as an honest question. The choices of words used and the explanation of the reasons why carry a lot of judgement behind them.
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Old 06-15-2011, 07:58 AM   #26
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Re: I need to understand something about those not bf.

Ever situation is different.

Formula is easy and FREE for a lot of people because they qualify for WIC, even though WIC encourages BF. So BF doesn't save money for some people.

And a lot of people take what seems to be the easier way, especially if they work and their place of employment doesn't make it easy to pump.

I have done childcare for 12 years and have had many moms who were able to EBF while they were off work but when they went back to work they struggled with being able to pump at work enough to keep supply up. Many of them were heartbroken but ended up switching to formula.

For me, I would love to be able to breastfeed my babies, I dreamed of being one of those moms who homebirthed, breastfed, cloth diapered but unfortunately I have never been able to get pregnant. I'm a foster parent so those babies are FF even with cloth diapers on their bottoms. I had to embrace MY reality.

But with my DS that was placed with us to adopt, we had 2 days notice before bringing hime home. I did try to BF for several months using a SNS feeder (which contained formula). It would take him at least an hour to take 2oz and then he would be hungry again. I pumped and took tons of supplements but never produced a drop. It was wonderful for bonding purposes and I do not regret trying but the reality was he was being fed formula through a very tiny tube, mommy was exhausted and baby was frustrated. I finally stopped trying to feed him this way and let him continue to suckle for the sake of bonding until he stopped wanting too.

In a perfect world, every women who wanted a baby would concieve easily, every mommy would get to stay home with their babies and every baby would take easily to BF and every mommy would produce tons of liquid gold .... unfortunately that isn't always the reality.
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Old 06-15-2011, 08:29 AM   #27
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Re: I need to understand something about those not bf.

I BF, and am so thankful for this relationship with my daughter, but I am thankful for the nipple shield we used for the first 4 weeks because I'm not sure if I would have been able to get her to latch otherwise as LCs were not very helpful.

I think a lack of education is one of the biggest things. I had a friend who pumped for 4 weeks because she couldn't get her baby to latch and then she went to get help and pretty much got none so ended up switching to formula. I was frustrated that she wasn't helped more. I think she would have tried harder probably though if WIC didn't make the formula free for her. However, she was still sad about her choice, and while I really wanted BF to work for her, I knew she was frustrated and something needed to change.

I think if I had to go back to work at 6 weeks that BFing would be really hard. Pumping isn't much fun, and I don't get a lot when I pump. Thankfully, I didn't have to go back to work. I give major props to women who go back to work at 6 weeks and EBF. Good job Mamas!

Another, far-less common reason you may see a women FF is because of foster care/adoption. My mom did foster care and had babies that she obviously had to FF as she had no milk. My youngest sister who is 12 was adopted, and she saw me BFing and asked my mom if she was BF. haha- it was cute My mom had to explain the way it worked to her.
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Old 06-15-2011, 08:44 AM   #28
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Re: I need to understand something about those not bf.

My grandma was told by her dr. formula was better for babies because it had added vitamins etc.

My mom had undiagnosed thrush and was in severe pain every time she nursed. She wound up quitting b/c it was so painful.

My friend was s*xually abused as a child and has a lot of issues with touch. It made her very uncomfortable.

My other friend had a baby with severe reflux, who would cry whenever she wasn't asleep. She suffered ppd and was having such a difficult time. She stopped nursing due to this.

Another friend had a baby as a single mom (unplanned) and had to work her butt off to support her child. She went back to work right away. Her work was less than cooperative w/pumping and she wasn't willing to fight it in fear she would lose her job-the only way she could support her child.

Personally, I am sooo thankful I never had any of these issues and was able to bf my babies. I feel so lucky that I was able to do that. Had I been dealing with any of these issues, who knows how things would have turned out.

Until you walk a mile in someone else's shoes....
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Old 06-15-2011, 08:44 AM   #29
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Re: I need to understand something about those not bf.

How funny, I always wonder the opposite-- why some Bfd'ing moms choose to use sposies! LOL
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Old 06-15-2011, 08:44 AM   #30
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Re: I need to understand something about those not bf.

For my BFF she "doesn't think she will like it" and "formula is just as good or they couldn't sell it"
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