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Old 06-17-2011, 08:59 AM   #101
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Re: I need to understand something about those not bf.

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I CD and formula fed.. CDing wasn't for saving money, because we had sposies free to us. I just like using them because they're eco-friendly and cute And breast feeding just didn't work out for our family.. Perhaps the money saved on diapers for some is the money spent on formula.. Save a little here, spend a little there. And breast feeding can be difficult-- especially with out the proper support. So, to each their own
I think you hit the nail right on the head there. BF is hard without the proper support. In this culture (although I believe it is changing) there is a myth that ff is only slightly worse for babies than bf, if not equal...and women are growing up beneath generations of of ff women. The odds are stacked against bf from the get go.
BF is a job. It is hard!...It makes a baby really attached to the mom and that is challenging for many women.
My inlaws have a saying that their third child is weird b/c "she was bf" (for 3 mo. I always say it's b/c she was bf then weaned!). This is the type of thing women grow up around! Now, my sil is on her 2nd ff baby. She bf her 2nd for a month and then switched him b/c it was too much for her. Well, she didn't have the support to get through the rough patch AND did not believe there was anything inferior about formula. It is sad b/c her 2nd wouldn't have a bm for days and would just pass the stinkiest gas. Now he suffers from recurrent ear infections and will have surgery (he's the same age as my dd, 12/13 mo). My DD (bf) is perfectly healthy and has never even had an ei.
It seems sometimes the time you save not bf you will spend on sick children. But, nobody tells you this.
It's a family and cultural cycle like most things.
So, it's not cut and dry.

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Old 06-17-2011, 09:05 AM   #102
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Originally Posted by jemilyon
I think you hit the nail right on the head there. BF is hard without the proper support. In this culture (although I believe it is changing) there is a myth that ff is only slightly worse for babies than bf, if not equal...and women are growing up beneath generations of of ff women. The odds are stacked against bf from the get go.
BF is a job. It is hard!...It makes a baby really attached to the mom and that is challenging for many women.
My inlaws have a saying that their third child is weird b/c "she was bf" (for 3 mo. I always say it's b/c she was bf then weaned!). This is the type of thing women grow up around! Now, my sil is on her 2nd ff baby. She bf her 2nd for a month and then switched him b/c it was too much for her. Well, she didn't have the support to get through the rough patch AND did not believe there was anything inferior about formula. It is sad b/c her 2nd wouldn't have a bm for days and would just pass the stinkiest gas. Now he suffers from recurrent ear infections and will have surgery (he's the same age as my dd, 12/13 mo). My DD (bf) is perfectly healthy and has never even had an ei.
It seems sometimes the time you save not bf you will spend on sick children. But, nobody tells you this.
It's a family and cultural cycle like most things.
So, it's not cut and dry.
I breastfed my ds2 for almost 2.5 years. From the time he was 6 months old until he was 2, he had monthly ear infections. Sometimes double ear infections. His doctor was ready to put tubes in his ears. Then, we moved, and he never had another infection. I wouldn't blame the ear infections solely on whether a baby is bf or ff.

He also passed horrible gas for the first weeks he was born, and didn't poop for over a week after leaving the hospital. Xrays confirmed there was no blockage, just gas. And he was 100% bfed.

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Old 06-17-2011, 09:13 AM   #103
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Re: I need to understand something about those not bf.

I'm a bfing mama, but my guess would be people do it b/c w/ wic it's not expensive and it may be easier for them to leave the baby w/ others. Unfortunately I think some people also can't get past boobs as sexual objects.
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Old 06-17-2011, 10:28 AM   #104
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Re: I need to understand something about those not bf.

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Now he suffers from recurrent ear infections and will have surgery (he's the same age as my dd, 12/13 mo). My DD (bf) is perfectly healthy and has never even had an ei.
That's another of what I think are the oversold benefits of breastfeeding. Breastfeeding reduces the rates of ear infections -- but it is just one of many factors, and definitely no guarantee.

My son got some formula along with nursing for 7 months, then all formula. My daughter was only breastfed. Both have had some ear infections, not an extraordinary number but not zero either.

Not really wanting to harp or sound anti-breastfeeding. It's just that overselling the benefits can lead to some of exactly what this thread is about -- BFing moms not comprehending how anyone could decide against such a wonderful, perfect experience. The reality is that it's not easy for everyone, not everyone enjoys it, and it doesn't work miracles on the baby's health (usually).

The flip side of that, is that certainly for a long time in American history, people were oversold on formula and on the concept that breastfeeding is too difficult. So I realize a lot of the BFing info out there is meant to counter that, to show people that it really is achievable for many/most women, and to provide info on how to make it work. It's just important to keep a little perspective, if you really want to understand why other moms make other choices.
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Old 06-17-2011, 10:31 AM   #105
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Re: I need to understand something about those not bf.

Yeah, I can say I'm not overly sold on the health benefits personally. My kids were BF'd for 6-9 months depending on the child, and then solely formula after that. None of them have had an ear infection. BFing is supposed to help prevent asthma, but my 1st DS, who was BF'd the longest, is the only one who suffers from asthma! They've all had an average number of colds and such, but really no serious illnesses. And none of them are anywhere near overweight.
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Old 06-17-2011, 10:57 AM   #106
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Re: I need to understand something about those not bf.

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Yes, I did know that. One could assume (but I'm not) that you are judging BFing mamas now that you stated that? It goes both ways. Factual statements are not automatic judgement

& yes, there are several women who will judge any mama who whips a bottle out of their diaper bag. Thankfully when I formula fed my first child, 5 years ago, I never once felt judged for my feeding method IRL. It was just "what you do".

But breastfeeding my second child? Tons of judgement, glaring, & dissapproving stares. I find much more support online for breastfeeding than I do in real life. & extended breastfeeding? Dear Lord, you'd think I was poisoning my child when people learn that I'm "still" nursing my 17 month old.

It seems there are no happy mediums when it comes to what you are feeding your child. There's always going to be someone who approves and there's always going to be someone who disapproves.
ITA with this. It seems that many people in the online world realize the benefit of breastfeeding and approve, but in the real world it's not so accepted, especially once the baby hits the 6- month mark. As my baby has gotten past 1 year I've had some really mean looks from people, and although I nurse in public, I never reveal anything inappropriate for the situation, so it's not that.

This is a discussion forum, so I think that people should be able to ask questions and not get flamed for everything that might potentially offend someone. That's life.
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Old 06-17-2011, 11:02 AM   #107
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Re: I need to understand something about those not bf.

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Yeah, I can say I'm not overly sold on the health benefits personally. My kids were BF'd for 6-9 months depending on the child, and then solely formula after that. None of them have had an ear infection. BFing is supposed to help prevent asthma, but my 1st DS, who was BF'd the longest, is the only one who suffers from asthma! They've all had an average number of colds and such, but really no serious illnesses. And none of them are anywhere near overweight.
I've been doing a lot of research on diet, and it seems like recent studies show that breastfeeding is most important during the first year, as it lays down a healthy balance of gut bacteria, which is the basis for the immune system. The fact that your babies were breastfed for 6-9 months is probably why they are pretty healthy. Also, your kids are pretty young still, so there is limited information to go on at this point.
It's important to continue to feed them healthy food, though, because breastmilk is not a magic substance that will keep them healthy all of their lives. (as some people seem to think).
One of my friends breastfed her children for 18 months each, but they are seriously the most unhealthy kids I know. Why? They eat crap, that's why. They mainly eat sugar and processed food since nursing, so although breastmilk protected them during that time period, it can only do so much and the positive effects CAN be cancelled out by an unhealthy diet afterwards.
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Old 06-17-2011, 12:31 PM   #108
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Originally Posted by nrsenadenos
Yeah, I can say I'm not overly sold on the health benefits personally. My kids were BF'd for 6-9 months depending on the child, and then solely formula after that. None of them have had an ear infection. BFing is supposed to help prevent asthma, but my 1st DS, who was BF'd the longest, is the only one who suffers from asthma! They've all had an average number of colds and such, but really no serious illnesses. And none of them are anywhere near overweight.
I think what gets lost is that bf is the biological norm. FF increases the risks of asthma, allergies, ear infections, obesity, Sids and childhood leukemia, BF doesnt prevent anything, FF increases the chances but obviously not by 100% so there are children who have asthma who were bf and FF babies who are very healthy. It's just about rates of infection and disease not a magic or poison bullet.
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Old 06-17-2011, 01:19 PM   #109
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Re: I need to understand something about those not bf.

I bf, but I may have some feedback on this. I partially blame the pediatricians. We just switched peds because my LO has a food allergy that we are having trouble identifying and my old ped kept pushing the allergen-free formula.

After having 3 kids, I'm wise enough to know to push back when my mama-radar is going off, but if this was my first child, I may have taken the first doctor's advice.
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Old 06-17-2011, 01:32 PM   #110
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Re: I need to understand something about those not bf.

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I bf, but I may have some feedback on this. I partially blame the pediatricians. We just switched peds because my LO has a food allergy that we are having trouble identifying and my old ped kept pushing the allergen-free formula.

After having 3 kids, I'm wise enough to know to push back when my mama-radar is going off, but if this was my first child, I may have taken the first doctor's advice.
Thank goodness for that mama radar. After thinking about it off and on for the last couple of days.. I do believe it is because of lack of support. I did a lot of research about the subject and was persistent about it in the hospital. The nurses there kept on trying to give her formula and when I called for a LC... no one came. I repeatedly asked for one. And when I had problems there was always a nurse there ready with a bottle of formula. I just finally got my husband to get my laptop and looked up advice online. I was reassured that pain the first few days was normal and milk doesn't come in immediately. But I had to find that information for myself. It was not given to me. But the differences between the available formula was.
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