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Old 06-17-2011, 05:24 PM   #11
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Re: a little vent about teen moms...

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I really doubt most people who receive assistance are "lifers"

I had more typed, but I try not to type while irritated.
Try not to get too irritated. While there are plenty of people who utilize assistance to better themselves, there are a lot that do not. 1/2 of then population I work withnisnin poverty. I see all kinds of people. But everydaybi work with people whose only goal is to make sure the assistance keeps coming. They will lie, use their kids, whatever. Using assistance is all they know and our system is not well set up to help them off

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Old 06-17-2011, 06:09 PM   #12
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Re: a little vent about teen moms...

This is so sad....as a former teen mom I just cant believe it. Doing what I did was NOT easy...and my first DDs father abandoned us before her birth...of COURSE..I thought he was perfect and POOF..gone. Thankfully my DH stepped up and adopted DD. The fate for 90% of these girls will be the same as mine. i wouldnt wish it on anyone.

Not to mention, it gives the teen moms that did the RIGHT thing a bad rep. I think someone needs to invent the new and improved high tech chastity belt...
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Old 06-17-2011, 08:03 PM   #13
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Re: a little vent about teen moms...

ACK my oldest is 12 and I am not even sure she fully understands the mechanics of how to get a baby. She has a friend that is a boy - same age as her - and his parents and I always giggle because they really just "play" together...like with nerf guns...but all their friends tease them about "dating" and they both HATE it.
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Old 06-17-2011, 08:50 PM   #14
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Re: a little vent about teen moms...

These kind of stories frustrate me. As a foster parent, I see this ALL.THE.TIME. It is your tax dollars at work. Until will change the system, nothing will change. People will just get better at working the system.

I teach at an urban middle school (7-8th grade center). At any given time, we have 4-5 girls pregnant, and usually rumor mill is flying about someone who got an abortion. This frustrates the heck out of me, since we were interested in adoption, and can't afford it, but these 12 and 13 year olds tax the system because "I'm keepin' my baby" and just continue the cycle.
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Old 06-18-2011, 05:45 AM   #15
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Re: a little vent about teen moms...

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But everydaybi work with people whose only goal is to make sure the assistance keeps coming. They will lie, use their kids, whatever. Using assistance is all they know and our system is not well set up to help them off
I know and I wish I could say that I haven't personally heard one mother tell her daughter "Where's your baby? You need to start doing this on your own" (in reference to getting assistance. )

We have medical for myself during pregnancy (because wouldn't you know, the insurance we pay for doesn't cover pregnancy... ) I had 3 people call and clarify that I was *only* applying for medical, even though we were eligible for more. We don't really need more, and frankly... I don't want to have to deal with the Job and Family office more than I have to It's not a very well organized place.

I guess I just hope that this thread won't turn into a 'welfarian' thread. Until find yourself standing in the assistance line (for 2 hours, 9 months pregnant, holding a sleeping 2 year old, for the 3rd time this month because they lost paperwork again) then you don't know.
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Old 06-18-2011, 08:24 AM   #16
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Re: a little vent about teen moms...

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thats awful. it has nothing to do with them being a teen though. sounds like their mom is just teaching them to leech off society and they have no problem doing that. there are more programs and assistance if these girls have a baby so thats a pull for them (although really messed up). i feel sorry for those babies though.
Yes, I am not a hateful person, but I do HATE their mother. I think she's a lazy, rude, dumb, etc etc... I could go on and on about her. She's sooo lazy that when she got kicked out of her house the had to wear masks and take shovels into the basement to clean up piles of clothes because they couldn't literally find the floor it was covered in clothes, mold, water, etc. She just "kept the door shut" and went and would buy new clothes every week with her gov't assistance because she hated to do laundry!

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Yeah TBH, I don't think this is a problem with "teens" as much as it is with the adults in their life! To vent about teen moms makes this kinda seem like this is what you think about teen moms. I know you clarify "not all teen moms, but my neices" but it just puts me on egde a little with the title. There are plenty of grown adults having babies and acting like that and plenty of teens who can be great parents. I happen to think I was one of them. I got pregnant at 15, but I worked as soon as I graduated and worked until dh & I decided I should SAH after having #5. We had #3 at 21, #4 at 23 and #5 at 25. I've never once accepted food stamps or cash assistance. My life would be a heck of a lot different had I waited to have kids, but nothing I can do now but make the best of the situation.
And where are these girls parents? There was a girl in town that everyone knew about because at 13 she was trying to get pregnant. At 14 she succeeded and every other year after that. Her 14yr old daughter is now pregnant! She'll be a gma at 28.
And honestly, my mom was a mom at 16 but gave him up for adoption. She claimed she didn't want me to make the same mistakes she did, was open with me, but I honestly don't recall her TRYING to teach me otherwise. I was allowed to have boyfriends when I was 12-13, two were 16-17! We didn't have sex, but I'm glad I moved from that area when I did or I can promise I would have been pregnant in 8th grade like several other girls in that town. I just didn't have structure and guidance, rules and responsibility. I had to babysit my sister ALL THE TIME and felt like well dang, if I'm taking care of my sister all the time, why not take care of my OWN baby! Little did I know it would be 2 babies and their father would split, but having a baby wasn't like the end of the world to me. It was a little exciting in my immature 15yr old mind really. I wouldn't say I "tried" to get pregnant, but I definitely wasn't scared of it until it actually happened. Then I was like OMG, what did I do... this is gonna be a huge mess. Especially when I found out it was twins!
I wish there was more for kids to do these days that didn't cost so much money. Sports all cost money and take time and commitment from family. Camps and clubs are the same thing. Kids who's parents don't have a lot of money tend to just "hang out" and end up drinking, spending time alone unsupervised with the opposite sex, dabbling in drugs... I mean, it's just unfortunate that these young girls feel that's all they're worth.
I'm really sorry! I didn't mean to make anyone think I felt this way about ALL teen moms... I don't. I agree with you that there are more than enough adult parents out there that shouldn't be reproducing, my brother is obviously one of them! My nieces just happen to have lazy parents who just don't care. My brother and I are 1/2 siblings so we weren't raised together. We have the same mom, but when they were teens and I was born my dad moved us to another state and my 2 brothers decided to live with their dad.
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