Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 06-17-2011, 04:56 PM   #111
sheleighya
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: NC, USA
Posts: 925
My Mood:
Re: I lost my tandem nurslings on Friday!

Quote:
Originally Posted by ~happy2Bamommy~ View Post
Oh, and does your DH have ties to the system there? Relationships with law enforcement, judges etc?
I had finally mentioned to a friend that he pledged Kappa Alpha Psi, and his uncle did also, who was/is involved with prepaid legal and may have some kind of legal ties in the system. She was convinced that his fraternity associations must be the link. I didn't think of that, but my mother also has believed for the longest that a connection somewhere is the factor.

Advertisement

__________________
"Blessed None-the-less"
I've lost custody of my children b/c my religious convictions are opposed to vaccinations, I practiced child-led weaning, and was a stay-at-home mother that desired to home-school. Yet no harm proven! But to have them anytime is enough to know that I'm blessed none-the-less.

Last edited by sheleighya; 06-19-2011 at 03:21 PM. Reason: Added details to my response.
sheleighya is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-18-2011, 09:05 AM   #112
~happy2Bamommy~'s Avatar
~happy2Bamommy~
Four things come not back: The spoken word; the sped arrow; the past life; and the neglected opportunity.
sitesupporter
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 22,736
My Mood:
Re: I lost my tandem nurslings on Friday!

Quote:
Originally Posted by sheleighya View Post
I have supplied a phone for my son to use with no cost to their dad, and even made an offered to dad to use a portion of the child support pay his phone bill before sending it, but he'd have to agree to deduct that amount from child-sup.

Their father simply told my son upon exchange that "we don't need this," and gave it back to me. I received it back knowing that their father has left many things that my sons has tried to bring with him to his dad's house on the ground in front of the children without allowing me to get it from his hands.

My son cried out and resisted and pleaded with him to allow him to bring it along, but he just didn't let him have it. He never responded to my suggestion to pay the cell phone bill on behalf of the children's need to have frequent and regular contact with me out side of visitations. I have sent several emails regarding phone contact, and he just ignores them or use them as a reason to demean me and misrepresent my efforts.

The children do not nurse, and hasn't since 2009. I have given him no more reason to be in attack mode, and to help things die down, including help my now 6 year old sleep in his own bed.

I don't mind a family bed, but their father tried to use that as a reason to insinuate sexual abuse to any one and every one that will listen, including my son's many therapists. So, to show that I'm trying to work with their father's desire for our son to sleep in his own bed, I put him back, and don't mind putting him back because he does sleep there when I do, only he wakes up about 1-2 times a night, as he has since he was a baby. Upon waking he comes back to my bed.

It's what I have to do for now, but it's worth it to show that I'm not against him sleeping on his own, and if he is able to do so why mind. However, there is not way to stop him from waking up that often, he has nightmares he's told me about fire, and is afraid of the dark now, but was not before going into dad's custody.

When I hear him and usually take him to the bthrm to pee, because I'm in the process of breaking him from nightwetting with comforting success, although dad puts him on night time pants for peeing. Afterwards I usually put him back in his bed. But like I said, he gets up and comes back when he awakes, as is his normal childhood habit.
Mama, emailing him this info is not enough. You need to make the legal system aware that he has broken a judges court order.

Do ya'll have "open" court days there? (sorry,not sure what the legal term is) Can you get on the list to take this before a judge?
__________________
For a sure-fire humdinger of a thread start one on:The Duggars,Government Assistance, Politics, Crickets,
Religion,Circumcision, Infant Ear Piercing,Spanking,Breast Milk vs Formula,Feeding kids Fast Food
/ Beans & Rice, Sniffing Butt, or Vaccinating.

~happy2Bamommy~ is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-18-2011, 09:17 PM   #113
Whimsy Twist's Avatar
Whimsy Twist
Registered Users
Formerly: Lilymomma
seller
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Mpls, MN
Posts: 2,649
My Mood:
Re: I lost my tandem nurslings on Friday!

Wow! I remember reading this when you had first posted. It breaks my heart that you are still dealing with this. You sound like a strong momma! Hugs to you!
__________________

Whimsy Twist
for the love of color...
find me on Facebook or Etsy
Whimsy Twist is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-19-2011, 03:19 PM   #114
sheleighya
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: NC, USA
Posts: 925
My Mood:
Re: I lost my tandem nurslings on Friday!

Quote:
Originally Posted by ~happy2Bamommy~ View Post
Mama, emailing him this info is not enough. You need to make the legal system aware that he has broken a judges court order.

Do ya'll have "open" court days there? (sorry,not sure what the legal term is) Can you get on the list to take this before a judge?
I have never heard of such a thing before, I'm tempted to say no, but that's something I will look into. NC is known to be peculiar in the judicial system when most others states have changed their laws and statutes to meet the needs of changing society. However, I'm hoping they do.
__________________
"Blessed None-the-less"
I've lost custody of my children b/c my religious convictions are opposed to vaccinations, I practiced child-led weaning, and was a stay-at-home mother that desired to home-school. Yet no harm proven! But to have them anytime is enough to know that I'm blessed none-the-less.
sheleighya is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-03-2012, 10:18 PM   #115
colin-mylilguy's Avatar
colin-mylilguy
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 2,591
Re: I lost my tandem nurslings on Friday!

How are you doing, Sheleighya? Any good news? It's been awhile. I hope you are okay.
__________________
Wife to my sweetheart and SAHM to my little lovey, Colin (12/10) my little family
colin-mylilguy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-23-2013, 06:45 PM   #116
sheleighya
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: NC, USA
Posts: 925
My Mood:
Re: I lost my tandem nurslings on Friday!

Yeah it's been a while I know colin-mylilguy. It's been a long haul also. Things have not gotten to be as well as I have expected. In 2010, I had wholly come to live with the fact that my babies were in their dad's custody. I had that break through, and didn't pitch a fit about anything outwardly just about. I kept reminding myself that I shouldn't consider myself any better able than he is to love and support them the way they need best.

And child-support was just my love gift to them, although it was always ever risking being the straw to break the camel's back. So then it did! In 2012 I was in a car accident that ended up with me being not at fault. Well, I needed a car because my car was totaled, rear-ending the driver in front of me. In NC the driver that rear-ends is, hands down, the guilty person. I praise God the lady admitted to being at fault.

Well, within two to three weeks I got me another car. After all, how would I be able to keep my job living in an area with no city buses that frequently transports. Fortunately, I found two persons willing to help me out in between the accident and the time I got my current car. I had to make a down payment, which ate up the amount to send to for c-sup. He Immediately took the opportunity to pull the case back into court, claiming that I'm willfully refusing to pay c-sup, and further suggesting that I'm abusing my children via co-sleeping, claiming that I must be still breastfeeding our 5 year old because he still sucks his tongue.

Well, that was July 2012, the hearing was Sept 2012. I was ordered to take another psych evaluation, but was still able to see my children as previously. He wanted them to implement supervised visitation until the evaluation was complete, along with parenting classes, and long term therapy if needed. I objected having gone through an evaluation in 2009 to determine custody.

I told the judge that there was nothing new to warrant the second evaluation, or to stop the ongoing visitation, and that I fell behind in c-sup due to the accident in June 2012. By September I was caught up, except for about $200 missing as a result of the car accident.

The judge ordered him to pay for the evaluation, and to report it in October 2012. It was not paid for by October 2012. I showed up on the set court date for October 2012 that happened during the Sept 2012 hearing. He and his attorney were not there for the scheduled review of the unpaid for evaluation. Instead, come November CPS (social services) called me about sexual abuse charges regarding my older son, and neglect charges regarding the younger of the two.

I agreed with them to refrain from contact until investigation was over. He immediately ran to get a protective order in Nov 2012, and was trying to get social services to make me go get the evaluation on my own. I made efforts to commence with the forensic evaluation, set dates to start, until finally the attorney of my ex-husband call to have the evaluation canceled. I told them he was to pay for it, and not me, and that I was never restrained by the court to have no contact after the hearing in Sept 2012. They believed me, plus I had the recording of the hearing for them to listen to.

This forensic evaluation was chosen by the attorney of my ex-husband. The judge allowed him the privilege of choosing this evaluator. Although they cancelled the evaluation, they later asked for it to be done after the close of the CPS case. I did not object to them choosing a person to evaluate me because I chose to give them the benefit of the doubt that he would be fair. This man used none of my contact sources for balancing out the allegations being made against me. Only the court records were used for the most part, and my EH's oral testimony of my behaviors. This was done in May 2013, instead of October 2012, because they were counting on the case with CPS to find me guilty.

Embarking upon a whole year later, Sept 2013, everything is completed for settling in court, and I had no contact with my children since October 2012. In Nov 2012 he used the open case with CPS to obtain a protective order against me. The case with CPS ended the case in Feb 2013 in my favor after the children were investigated by a child forensic person outside of anything court related.

But the protective order was not remove by their dad's attorney, because his lawyer deceptive tied it to the pending results of the evaluation and the need for a hearing as the dependent factors for removing it. The same issue were again brought to the forefront as at the beginning of the custody battle from 2008. They were me being accused of possibly putting my children at risk of neglect because I do not vaccinate, co-sleeping, and using tactics of parental alienation against him. But he has had custody since Oct 2008, and what does my beliefs matter anymore for the most part when I saw them only 8 days out of each month.

Due to the results of the forensic psychological evaluation, it was put forth that my beliefs in support of co-sleeping, non-vaxing, and the use of preferring natural medicines, I was labeled as having a personality dysfunction (unspecified) that may be possibly be placing my children at risk, quote, "although the not determined if the children are at risk." What non-sense! I went to that evaluator to be evaluated to determine those things, and he was not able to determine if my children were at risk with me. So, he recommended long term therapy.

The psych evaluation that was completed in May 2013, stated that I can benefit from long term counseling to adjust my beliefs, and determine if I am placing my children at risk. I started that process in July 2013 at my own initiative (without court order), because I wanted to explore what was really happening in this situation, and just maybe I could use the support anyway.

Come Sept 2013 my counselor was prepared to testify on my behalf. She prepared her professional report of my mental/psychological well-being, emotional stability, and parenting abilities, which was mailed to the courthouse on my behalf. She stated that I am prepared to receive my children back into my care. That she does not see any of the personality dysfunction items.

Well, my children's father lawyer presented the written report from the court appointed evaluator that they had chosen for me to see (he was not present), and I presented the report from my counselor (she was not present).

The judge didn't believe my report, but favorably regarded the report from the evaluator they chose against my counselor's report. He then gives me the ultimatum to bring my therapist in or it will be supervised visitation. I requested if both can occur, and he finally agrees to it. However, when the Order is sent to me in the mail from the hearing in Sept 2013, it denies me any rights to my children, and the ability to bring in my therapist, making no mention of the fact that I was in the process of having long term therapy (not making any mention of the evidence I submitted by means of her written report).

The order only granted me supervised visitation with my children, permanently. It stated that I can see them every even month of the year for 2 hours only, and only if my ex and I can mutually agree. Since October I have only seen them once. It stated that I can Skype with them once a week, for 30 minutes. Since October 2013 I have only had Skype sessions 3 times. He didn't facilitate October's visit (being an even month in the year), and has canceled once in December, with the first attempt for visiting with them scheduled without my consent- giving me only a day to correspond with the service doing the supervising. Before I could agree to the date I needed to come up with the funds to do the visit, which I could not do within a days time. Therefore the visit could not be done, not knowing for sure that I would be able to pay the $100 for two hours.

Well, this experience has brought things to the end of the rope. I had never wanted to battle with him in the courts. But he has shown me that he will go to any lengths to kick me out of the lives of my two boys. I've never had an attorney, choosing to believe that he would let reason have it's way in due time. Well, he hasn't and reason has led me to see that either I get a lawyer or be a willing victim of legal-bullying, parental alienation, and emotional abuse.

I have gotten an attorney on my team, and I pray to God that he is the instrument to be used to put an end to this legal abuse and maltreatment.

I saw the boys for the first time since October 2012 this December 2013 on the 15th. The two hours were sweet, but much too short to experience a sense of fulfillment.

I'm keeping my therapist on my team also, she is supportive of my parental practices. She sees that it's all about control and deception. She could not believe that they had set up a court date for her to appear in court (as I had told her within 24-hours following the hearing, and then canceled it. I had 5 witnesses at court to observe what was happening. They were appalled, seeing that the courts deal this way. The judge was against my lifestyle, or at least provided opportunity for that man and his lawyer to deceptively diminish my role as a mother down to a visitor 6 times a year for some unknown reason. Their dad moved them from NC to SC, and have no intentions of bringing them back except for sup-visitation those 6 times a year.

The judge was due to leave office in Oct 2013, and when hearing my case in Sept 2013 he knew that he would not be able to hear from my therapist in October as scheduled. He was leading me and other observers on, knowing that upon his retirement he would not be able to hear the case again, and that I would have a deal of a time trying to get it before another judge. But with God all things are possible!

My little boy is so loving me as if I was never gone. My older son has some reservations about himself. I thought to get all overworked about it at the visit in Dec. 2013, but I knew it'll blow over as the visit went on, and it did. He quietly moaned to himself as I reminded them that the visit had to end each of the three times. They are 6 and 8 now, and they need their mother, as does any other child needs his/her mother to be there for them.

Thanks for checking in with me! I'm hopeful. God rules in the affairs of men.
__________________
"Blessed None-the-less"
I've lost custody of my children b/c my religious convictions are opposed to vaccinations, I practiced child-led weaning, and was a stay-at-home mother that desired to home-school. Yet no harm proven! But to have them anytime is enough to know that I'm blessed none-the-less.

Last edited by sheleighya; 12-23-2013 at 07:27 PM. Reason: Added more details to the post.
sheleighya is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.