JuneBugs July Chat

[canadianbakers]

Thanks about the cakes, Tamara! I really do love his cake - but I can't figure out if it's cuz I think it's really actually cute or just cuz it's my wee Nudge's 1st ever bday cake!
That's just my diaper bag - a 'lug' luggage bag - I love it, especially for cloth diapers! Tons of room, lots of pockets. I got it for myself with some of my christmas gift money from our parents.

those pics of Cooper! Looks like he had a blast!
Sorry about the trip. That doesn't sound like terribly much fun at all.

[canadianbakers]

Not what I wanted to wake up to.
I grabbed DH's computer to check the weather network site - my computer is in our room, his was just on the dining table. When I opened firefox it brought up the "we're sorry, do you want us to restore these" box, if you kwim. The pages listed were p**n. Same site, 2 different pages or whatever they would be there. I didn't click them or restore them to find out.
I'm feeling right now. Really didn't need that on top of the emotions I'm all ready dealing with right now.
While this may be all right for some couples, it isn't for me/us. I have no clue what, if anything, to say to DH.

[MeCo7707]

Oh Elena I'm sorry that it hurt/upset/angered you so. If it's not normal/acceptable for you two then you should deal with it in whatever way you feel is best I suppose. I know that when my parents first married and my mom found my dad's stash she put a knife through the stack and left it on his bedside table....I doubt that would work with your DH's computer though....

[bluedaisyma]

awww Elena . I dunno what to tell you. I am sorry you found that like that (mostly worries me bc what if your kids had hit "restore"?). Is this new (or new to you?) or has he had this 'issue' in the past? If it is not something that you knew about and were ok with it I would confront him. Kind of like, "you left your computer open a-hole" as I was throwing it at him. That's just me, though.

Tam, let us know how the EI goes. He looks like he is having a blast! I want to take K to the beach soooooo bad. The closest is just under 4 hrs away, and I would go for a day trip, but not til the car get fixed. I need to get away with the boys and DH for a few days.
Did I tell you all my sis is pg? The one with the 19 mo old? and this will be her 5th (4 diff dads <sigh>). She met this guy on a dating site. (he has 5 kids too) She says they are gonna get married but right now she is so sick from the pg, he is having some issues with ex-wives, etc. She is in her mid-30's, he is in his mid-40's. Grow up already! And it's a real mess, she is too sick to work, her almost 13 yr old is pissed saying she isn't gonna raise this baby....my sis works (and is now too sick to do anything) so a lot of caring for the toddler lies on her other kids. the best part? she had an appt to get her tubes tied when she found out she was preg. Really? ever hear of rubbers? ah well....

[MeCo7707]

Jul - HOLY COW that's a lot of kids! DH and I don't use rubbers and probably won't even after we are done and waiting for the big V to happen - but then again DH and I are married and don't have a bunch of other ex's drama...poor teens - they shouldn't have to raise babies

[omahonycm]

Hi - I just wanted to introduce myself and my little one, born June 7th of last year. Her name is Tara. I don't know you're whole story, Elena, but I've seen your posts earlier and have been praying for you. We can't start TTC for #2 yet, but #1 took forever, and it's always always hard. I'm glad you had a good birthday though!

Tara is still not sitting all the way through books but she's starting to bring them to me! No words yet, though. She just runs around saying "ba" "ba" "BA" "ba" all day long.

[MeCo7707]

hi! What's your name? If you don't mind me asking.

My little one is sitting through books IF I'm reading them to her older sister - if not she usually is done by page two or three

[solarbabies]

Hi all. Bright red blood for me this morning Nothing later today, but I am getting scared. This is supposed to be our stress-free vacation, not a time to start bleeding

[canadianbakers]

Originally Posted by MeCo7707 Oh Elena I'm sorry that it hurt/upset/angered you so. If it's not normal/acceptable for you two then you should deal with it in whatever way you feel is best I suppose. I know that when my parents first married and my mom found my dad's stash she put a knife through the stack and left it on his bedside table....I doubt that would work with your DH's computer though....

I'm not totally against that idea... though I think it would end up being a costly choice!
It's definitely not a normal thing, or an okay thing for us. I have too many self-esteem/confidence/etc issues to be okay with thinking about him lusting after other women, I have enough trouble with IRL situations at times. And he's always said he finds it gross and not okay at all.
I'm confused and not sure how to bring it up at all. I'm angry and hurt.

Originally Posted by tamarag I still feel like Cooper should have been in the September DDC because he is doing things that those babies are doing. Oh well...all in due time. EI comes wednesday with the PT to re-evaluate him. I still haven't scheduled his hearing test or did the blood work. I just don't want to have him stuck if I don't have too!

Tamara I meant to comment on this, too, but forgot. Sorry.
I can totally understand holding off on the labwork and whatnot until after you know more. I'm having a hard enough time with Levi's vaxes - can't imagine him needing more pokes!
Let us know how things go with the therapists. I really think it's great signs that he's sitting so well and starting to crawl and stuff.

Originally Posted by bluedaisyma awww Elena . I dunno what to tell you. I am sorry you found that like that (mostly worries me bc what if your kids had hit "restore"?). Is this new (or new to you?) or has he had this 'issue' in the past? If it is not something that you knew about and were ok with it I would confront him. Kind of like, "you left your computer open a-hole" as I was throwing it at him. That's just me, though. Did I tell you all my sis is pg? The one with the 19 mo old? and this will be her 5th (4 diff dads <sigh>). She met this guy on a dating site. (he has 5 kids too) She says they are gonna get married but right now she is so sick from the pg, he is having some issues with ex-wives, etc. She is in her mid-30's, he is in his mid-40's. Grow up already! And it's a real mess, she is too sick to work, her almost 13 yr old is pissed saying she isn't gonna raise this baby....my sis works (and is now too sick to do anything) so a lot of caring for the toddler lies on her other kids. the best part? she had an appt to get her tubes tied when she found out she was preg. Really? ever hear of rubbers? ah well....

Yes, I thought of the same thing - what if Ruthie had been the one to turn on the computer? Although, not that it makes it okay, he made her her own user account on his computer with her own password and she doesn't know his password, so she shouldn't have been able to access that anyways. But that's totally not the point.
I didn't think to look at his history... I'm so not sure if I even want to. But at the same time I want to know if this was a one-time thing or something he's been doing every night for a while, kwim? I'm not sure if that would even make a difference in how I feel about it though.

Apparently this is something he has had a problem with in the past - like in his later teen years and before we got married. And there was one time... it would be years ago now, after Isaac was born but before I was pregnant with Levi... that I went downstairs to do laundry and opened the office door to tell him something - only to find him sitting there looking at this stuff. I was pissed. Majorly.
He printed off emails to show me that he said had come to his junk mail folder from an email address with the name of a high school classmate of his, the emails asked him if this (giving a link) was his little sister and did he know what she was doing.
So, he said, he was looking at these sites to see if it was her, to know before saying anything to his parents and sister.
Maybe naive on my part, but I did believe him. It was hard to, but I wanted to, so I did.
Now I'm doubting all that.
Like I said to Mer, I'm confused, angry, and hurt. And I have no clue how to bring it up. I hate confrontation. But I'm not okay with this.

I know it's not right to judge others and whatnot... but why in the world do pregnancies like your sister's happen and turn out just peachy while I m/c again?
It's very sad to hear her 13yr old's comment, too. She's still just a kid, in the grand scheme of life, and shouldn't have to raise a baby - especially one that isn't hers but her mother's!

Originally Posted by omahonycm Hi - I just wanted to introduce myself and my little one, born June 7th of last year. Her name is Tara. I don't know you're whole story, Elena, but I've seen your posts earlier and have been praying for you. We can't start TTC for #2 yet, but #1 took forever, and it's always always hard. I'm glad you had a good birthday though!

Hi there!
Thank you so much for the prayers and for just thinking of me. There's not much of a whole story - we had 3 kids with nary a huge complication with any pregnancy, and no "trouble" getting pregnant. Then we started TTC when Isaac was 2yrs old... 14mos of TTC... 3 losses - Christmas day 08 (4wk 3d), May 09 2 days after mother's day (5wk4d), July 09 (4wk, "technically" a chemical pregnancy... but having been through it, most definitely a m/c)... then we got pregnant with Levi - no complications, wonderful pregnancy.
I guess I assumed we'd all ready paid our "dues" and wouldn't have to go through any more losses. Silly to assume. I know better now.

Good luck with your own ttc journey! I wish you all the best and hope you get your BFP really soon

Originally Posted by javabarnes Hi all. Bright red blood for me this morning Nothing later today, but I am getting scared. This is supposed to be our stress-free vacation, not a time to start bleeding

Oh no Shannon. for you and your bean, Hun. I'm so sorry for this stress.

If it is from a SCH, then this could be normal - your body releasing/expelling the bleed. But I know this is so hard and so scary.
Oh sweetie, and

[solarbabies]

Elena: About the computer...I really don't know what I would say if I found something like that from DH, I would probably try to embarass him though. I might say something like "you need to be more careful about what you leave up on your computer" Or "Did another friend ask you if his little sis was on one of those nasty sites again?" I would be upset/angry/hurt/confused too. I really don't need anything like that from DH and I am sure you don't either. And with another pregnancy loss in the happening still? Come on you thoughtless jerk, don't hurt my Elena!!!!

To the newbie:

AFM: We are staying in a motel tonight when we planned on camping tonight because I can't imagine loosing the baby in one of those nasty camp site toilets that is basically a hole in the ground. I am having a tiny bit of spotting again, but just barely barely. It is more just a tiny bit of brown blood when I wipe. I am really stressed now. I don't want to worry, but I can't help it . We have all these things planned and now I am scared to even walk. It's not fair. I really don't want to go through this! If I lose it, will I go into labor? Or will I just bleed and cramp? I would guess at 12 weeks it is still considered just a miscarriage. Will I be able to tell if it is a boy or girl? I shouldn't be thinking all this, but I am. I hate surprises and this one would be a really messed up one.