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Old 07-31-2011, 06:58 PM   #11
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Re: Does anyone actually LIKE being a WOHM?

I do like my job and all of the people I work with...but I would leave in a second if the opportunity arose to be a SAHM. I would never be a permanent SAHM though, just until the kids are in school/pre-school but I'd leave without a second thought if I could!

ETA: Even if you never plan on being a SAHM you never know how hard it is to leave your children until you actually have to do it.

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Old 07-31-2011, 07:23 PM   #12
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Re: Does anyone actually LIKE being a WOHM?

I think that whole thread was more of a focus on perception than reality. It's not that either option is going to blow goats, it's only what each person is cut out for. Each position (sahm&wohm) has it's hardships but some people can cope with those hardships for each better than others.

I'm one that loves my job. It never ever crossed my mind to quit. I've never felt guilt about working because I know for me I need to have things not revolve around family only. And yes I know sahm don't only focus on family, there is charity and community work etc. Just like a wohm doesn't only focus on work. I am speaking broadly about myself. I must be whole and inorder to achieve that for me I absolutely have to make art. A huge part of my psychological peace relies on this. I am only ever unhappy when I am not producing.

If a person is truely unhappy working or staying at home I think a change should be made. Any kind of pervasive unhappiness will affect how we interact with our families.

I'm a firm believer in, as a mom, do what is best for you to be the best for your family.
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Old 07-31-2011, 07:30 PM   #13
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Re: Does anyone actually LIKE being a WOHM?

I'm wondering if there's a difference between moms who are working in a chosen profession, specifically when they've gone to college & possibly grad school & have a few years of experience & an already established career, even if they don't love the specific job they have right now (this is me), & moms who are working solely to pay the bills, regardless of the job qualifications.

That is, I like my job...I don't love my job. I'm a little burned out right now, & that has very little to do with being a parent or wanting to be w/ my DD. I just don't think I could give up my career & my professional momentum. I love being a mom, but it's not all that I am...I need to & enjoy caring for all the aspects of me, including the professional me .
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Old 07-31-2011, 07:36 PM   #14
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Re: Does anyone actually LIKE being a WOHM?

my job. I can't imagine my life without it. Being a nurse is pretty much the best job in the world
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Old 07-31-2011, 07:40 PM   #15
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Re: Does anyone actually LIKE being a WOHM?

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Originally Posted by MyLovely View Post
I think the general consensus I've walked away from is that both ways suck equally. If you're a SAHM, society thinks you're a mooch off your DP and your brain slowly turns to mush. If you WOHM, you should be miserable.

I'm due to graduate college in a few years and I'll end up with a career I love...a librarian If finances don't take a turn for the worse, I'll be able to SAH for a short time. However, as I've gotten older, I realize that good jobs are hard to come by and if I land my dream job, will it be worth it to quit and hopefully get another one a year later that is just so-so? Thankfully I realize that it's not a decision I can make until I'm actually a parent (I know many ladies who had no plans to SAH but decided to once they had their baby or plan on SAH but it makes them feel crazy not to work), but reading long debates does make me think about it.

I just like to hope that whichever way it turns out, I can be happy. It seems like everyone in every situation is utterly miserable. I know that's not REALLY true, but I don't think people realize how they come across. Maybe some online SAHM vs. WOHM debates should be printed off and given to girls in high school...talk about birth control
OH dear. I'm a home schooling, business owning, crazy busy mother who works outside of the home caring for our business and as a doula full time. I frickin LOVE my life and I wouldn't change it for the world. I live life on call, I support my family financially and my passions with birth. Its not uncommon to have a birth every other week all year, plus pay roll, property checks, inspections and such - I really do work nearly full time and I've never been miserable doing it. My kids are often with me if I'm doing business stuff and I just wanted to shine some light on not everyone being unhappy - some of us are completely blissful.

Its hard to leave my kids, absolutely. But I suppose since my life is so non-traditional (no 9-5, and I've never been an employee, though I have 7 of them!). I really appreciate what our family has worked out and I know that each and every family finds a path for themselves.
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Old 07-31-2011, 07:41 PM   #16
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Re: Does anyone actually LIKE being a WOHM?

I enjoy my profession, but one driving factor for me is that it seems unfair to have one person in the marriage with the burden of providing all financial resources. Having and keeping employable skills in this job market is tough. I know I would have a chronic ulcer if I was the sole provider for our family. I expect my husband to help out in the home, and not give me the entire burden of cleaning, cooking and childcare. If something were to happen, (like when I went on bedrest, or had surgery) and I could not do all of the things I do now, working part time, I would expect him to step up and do more. He may not do it the same way, or in some cases, do it as "well", but I would expect him to try. In the same manner, I do not expect my husband to provide all the money, and have all of that burden, and if he were to be laid off, or unable to work, I would increase my hours, and try my best to pick up some of the slack.
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Old 07-31-2011, 09:55 PM   #17
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Re: Does anyone actually LIKE being a WOHM?

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Originally Posted by Brooke789 View Post
I do like my job and all of the people I work with...but I would leave in a second if the opportunity arose to be a SAHM. I would never be a permanent SAHM though, just until the kids are in school/pre-school but I'd leave without a second thought if I could!

ETA: Even if you never plan on being a SAHM you never know how hard it is to leave your children until you actually have to do it.
Oh, absolutely not. I really hope my post didn't come off like that, I absolutely have no idea what it's like to be in that position and would never dream of pretending I do.

I guess the gist of me thinking about this is that, as I get closer to both a career and motherhood, I realize exactly how much thought goes into such major decisions. I've always assumed I'd just stay home for a few years and then jump back into it with no issues, but when you actually are looking at how hard it is to come by jobs in a particular career field in a particular area, you realize that it's not always feasible and that the choice on which path to take is a huge one.

I'm moving to Boston after graduation, with the hopes of someday working at BU. If I got that job sooner rather than later, would I want to give it up knowing that there was a good chance I'd never get it back? I'm definitely not trying to predict the future or be one of those annoying "I'm doing it this way, period" type people...heck, some days I want to go be a barista in LA, some days I want to live on a farm, I can't pretend to know what's coming I'm just musing and appreciating the input from you lovely ladies.

For instance, my SIL got her master's in graphic design and has been a SAHM for the past 5 years. She is seriously MADE to do it, she loves it, but if she wants to go back to work down the road, she'll have so much catching up to do with the industry. It's worth it to HER and she has zero regrets. It's easy to see how a woman in a different family might see the flip side of the argument, that staying home is too big a risk for her and to be a WOHM by choice rather than be potentially unemployable in her career field down the road.

Kudos to you mamas. I'm glad some of you admit to liking working...gives me hope that not all WOHMs are destined to be miserable.
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Old 07-31-2011, 11:02 PM   #18
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Re: Does anyone actually LIKE being a WOHM?

I love teaching. It is definitely a passion of mine. My issue is leaving babies. It is so hard to leave your baby. Once they are preschool age, I'm okay with leaving them, but babies and toddlers, makes me cry to leave. Not because I hate my job, but because I just love them so much and really they are dependent on you, and in a way, you on them. If I had my choice, I wouldn't work until all my kids are in preschool (3-4 years old). But, I do not have that choice, so I make it work as best as possible. I actually start a new job tomorrow, and while I am super excited, I am very sad to leave my toddler and will be even more sad to leave my newborn when she is born. The younger they are, the harder it is for me. BUT the way I am making it work for me and my family is that two Friday's a month I don't have to work. We've also decided to have dh stay home this year for sure and maybe next year too. That makes me feel a thousand times better. I also get many breaks (Christmas, Easter, summer, etc).

My past teaching job that I did for five years I made it work by teaching at a private school where all my kids came along (they had infants through elementary). That made it doable for me.

Also, this year, dh will be bringing the baby to me at lunch to nurse. Just knowing I get to see her and nurse her half way through my day makes it so much easier. And we purposely moved to the district I am working in so that my older kids go to the school I'm working at.

So while it's not my IDEAL situation (staying home until 3-4), I have made it work for me, so that I am not hating life, or work, because I will miss my babies.

Now, if I were doing a random job that was not my chosen career path (as PP stated), I'd probably hate working. But because I love teaching, that makes it a whole heck of a lot easier.
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Old 07-31-2011, 11:04 PM   #19
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Re: Does anyone actually LIKE being a WOHM?

And btw, my toddler has totally replaced me with 101 Dalmations. She probably won't even notice I'm gone because she is now obsessed with that movie and stuffed dogs. LOL
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Old 07-31-2011, 11:14 PM   #20
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Re: Does anyone actually LIKE being a WOHM?

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And btw, my toddler has totally replaced me with 101 Dalmations. She probably won't even notice I'm gone because she is now obsessed with that movie and stuffed dogs. LOL
Haha, one of our first home videos (with those huge, clunky 80's cameras) was my second birthday and it was 101 Dalmations themed...the cake, the toys, the favors, my outfit. Your DD has good taste
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