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Old 08-06-2011, 04:58 PM   #11
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Re: HELP! I need a break or something!

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Originally Posted by carolineb View Post
I don't have any advice but I can sure understand!
just having people out there that feel that same way makes me at least feel like I'm not out there alone, ya know? So thanks for posting!

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Old 08-06-2011, 05:02 PM   #12
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Re: HELP! I need a break or something!

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BTDT! What worked for us was putting DS to work- yes- even at that young of an age, you can redirect some of their energy into "helping" (though, in reality the only real help is that they are staying busy in your site and not making another mess somewhere else!)

Folding laundry- he loved to help pull clothes out of the dryer into the basket- or put dirty clothes into the washer. We played "find the socks" where he would go through the clean basket and pull out the socks and put them into a pile while I folded other things and put them into piles up on a higher surface he couldn't reach- "find the socks" can also work with washcloths, or anything that there are multiple of in that load. As he got a bit bigger, he was able to help fold wahscloths and small towels into squares- he's actually pretty good at it. Now at 34 mos, he also helps find socks that match. We talk about various things the whole time we are working and I praise him for being such a good helper when we are done.

Dishes- DS started out being given spoons one at a time to put in the dirty basket, now he does butter knives and forks as well. When putting away, he can take out the non sharps and stick them in the holder, as well as take out the plastics and put them in the cupboard.

He loves to crunch up boxes for recycling!

A dishtub with about a cup of dry rice or beans and a couple plastic measuring cups (with a dustbuster handy!) would keep him occupied for quite awhile while I cooked dinner.

MY DAUGHTER LOVES TO HELP WITH LAUNDRY.. but she likes to play with the dryer balls IN THE DRYER. Then when I need to get her out to start the dryer or to do something else she screams like a banchee.

If I tried the rice/bean idea my DH would FREAK because it would be a bigger mess.. sighhh

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Originally Posted by mariamommy View Post
I know how you feel, my 14 month old is constantly hanging on my leg. I don't quite hold her while I'm peeing or showering though.

Babies that age like shoes. Fill a laundry basket with shoes and let her play with them while you fold laundry.

I know it is hard. hang in there!
I give her a basket that I have filled with her hair bows or her basket that is filled with her socks if I really need to keep her occupied. It only keeps her attention for sometimes 2 minutes but other times 20 minutes. Usually I use those ideas for when I'm doing something dangerous to her like carrying boiling pots of water up the steps for her diaper laundry. (our water heater sucks) or sometimes if I want to shave my legs and I know my shower will take longer than the 3 minute ones I get normally! lol!
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Old 08-06-2011, 07:54 PM   #13
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Re: HELP! I need a break or something!

My only idea is: Flylady. Shine your sink. (Google Flylady if you don't know what I'm talking about). Even if ALL I do is shine my sink every day at least I feel good about that.
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Old 08-06-2011, 07:59 PM   #14
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Re: HELP! I need a break or something!

I feel your pain! I don't have any new advice to add, but I can certainly commiserate! Hang in there...it gets better.
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Old 08-08-2011, 09:55 AM   #15
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Re: HELP! I need a break or something!

Oh, mama! I'm right there with you. I'm tandem nursing my 28 month old and my 2 1/2 month old and I feel like all I do all day is take turns nursing. I've worn a butt spot in our rocking chair. I can't seem to get anything done b/c the moment I get up to try dd (the 2 y/o) decides she needs to nurse, or whatever. I don't have to use the bathroom with her in my lap anymore, but she's usually watching b/c the baby is in my lap... and then my 6 y/o wreaks havoc throughout the rest of the house b/c he feels like he's not getting enough attention. And he's not. At the end of the day I have nothing left to give anyone else and so my dh and 6 y/o usually just get yelled at for the tiniest things... then I feel like a failure for being so emotionally unstable. I just try to tell myself that it will pass, things will get better and one day there won't be dishes in the sink all the time anymore.
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Old 08-08-2011, 02:16 PM   #16
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Re: HELP! I need a break or something!

I also know what it feels like to be needed constantly. I exclusively breastfed my twins to 1 year (they are 13 months now.) Now the girl takes a little whole milk, but they both are mainly breastfed still. The boy is completely breastfed. Plus I have a 3.5 year old who needs me. To keep your sanity, you need to find a balance!

Do you want things to change? Do you want your baby to nap without you lying down next to her, or do you want to continue that? How many naps does she take? You said she is 13 months, so does she still take 2 naps, or has she moved to 1? At her age, she should be napping 2-4 hours a day.

Do you still want to co-sleep with her? Her nighttime sleep needs are 10-12 hours. Total sleep should be around 14 hours per 24 hour cycle.

I may offer some advice, but if you want to continue to do these things, then I can't offer much advice.

I may get rocks thrown at me here, but why can't you go to the bathroom or shower with out your child? Is there not a safe place for your child to be with out you for 2 minutes? In a gated area perhaps? Or in a doorway jumper or something while you shower?

I'm all about attachment parenting, but I'm also about developing a child who can keep themselves entertained. A tired, worn-out Mama is not good for a child either. They feed off you! I KNOW it's hard to find that balance, and I KNOW that before you know it, you child has become so completely dependent upon you. I had that for bedtime w/ my first.

Hugs to you!

PS: As for the weakness you are feeling, are you eating enough? Are you maintaining your weight or are you losing? Are you able to get out and get some exercise? I know I felt weak with my first. So I got myself a YMCA membership that had a daycare. I started eating more, and getting some good alone exercise, and it made ALL the difference in my mood...made me a better mother. I enjoyed my child so much fuller after that. Again...hugs to you!
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