Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 06-18-2011, 01:25 PM   #131
Computermama
Banned
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 13,800
My Mood:
Re: I need to understand something about those not bf.

Most women I've spoken to who've quit breastfeeding had a variety of stories, but the largest percentage boil down to a lack of support. Formula is so easy, and so many women don't breastfeed anymore that I had no one who could help me.

For myself, the first three weeks of my daughter's life, from her traumatic birth until I put her on formula rank easily among the worst weeks of my life. She was having latch issues, but no one, no nurses, the LCs I spoke to or anyone could figure out what the problem was. Between cesearian incision and nipples that looked like hamburger and then thrush, I was literally going blind when I latched her on. When she unlatched and screamed to go back on for the 5th time in 2 hours straight, I realized that it hurt less to watch this little red faced person scream than to put her back on the breast, and got swallowed with a wash of guilt. I couldn't sleep, I was having trouble eating, the thought I was having about my daughter and my own life were dark enough that I won't post specifics here. I cried through making her that first bottle, and I cried while I was giving it to her, but when she burped and fell asleep, I finally found peace. It was only after I put her on formula that I could finally get to know my daughter.

Advertisement

Computermama is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-18-2011, 01:34 PM   #132
hilaryisinked's Avatar
hilaryisinked
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Mobile, AL
Posts: 26,258
Quote:
Originally Posted by amzasmommy
I'm a bfing mama, but my guess would be people do it b/c w/ wic it's not expensive and it may be easier for them to leave the baby w/ others. Unfortunately I think some people also can't get past boobs as sexual objects.
Yep
__________________
Hilary, head over heels wifey of a Coastie
Mama of Aubrey & Delaney
hilaryisinked is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-18-2011, 06:02 PM   #133
S4r4h's Avatar
S4r4h
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 374
Quote:
Originally Posted by Computermama
Most women I've spoken to who've quit breastfeeding had a variety of stories, but the largest percentage boil down to a lack of support. Formula is so easy, and so many women don't breastfeed anymore that I had no one who could help me.

For myself, the first three weeks of my daughter's life, from her traumatic birth until I put her on formula rank easily among the worst weeks of my life. She was having latch issues, but no one, no nurses, the LCs I spoke to or anyone could figure out what the problem was. Between cesearian incision and nipples that looked like hamburger and then thrush, I was literally going blind when I latched her on. When she unlatched and screamed to go back on for the 5th time in 2 hours straight, I realized that it hurt less to watch this little red faced person scream than to put her back on the breast, and got swallowed with a wash of guilt. I couldn't sleep, I was having trouble eating, the thought I was having about my daughter and my own life were dark enough that I won't post specifics here. I cried through making her that first bottle, and I cried while I was giving it to her, but when she burped and fell asleep, I finally found peace. It was only after I put her on formula that I could finally get to know my daughter.
I'm proud of you for doing what you have to do to be a loving mother. Misery is not worth it.
__________________
Sarah Beth - Mama to Charlie (Charlotte) born 1/12/11 and wife to Jeffery, computer geek extraordinaire. Lover of succulent gardens, live plant aquariums, reading, nature, sunshine, emergency veterinary medicine, and Homer, the best dog in the world.
S4r4h is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-19-2011, 05:55 PM   #134
CarisaAndClara's Avatar
CarisaAndClara
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 553
My Mood:
Re: I need to understand something about those not bf.

D-MER and severe PPD = formula feeding for me. It still breaks my heart
__________________
Carisa, attachment parenting single mama to Clara.
CarisaAndClara is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-19-2011, 05:58 PM   #135
octoberblush's Avatar
octoberblush
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 1,116
Re: I need to understand something about those not bf.

Quote:
Originally Posted by CarisaAndClara View Post
D-MER and severe PPD = formula feeding for me. It still breaks my heart
You did the best for you and your baby and that makes you a great mother!
__________________
Brittney - wife and partner to C, momma to M (11/20)
<3 Adding another to our little family in November <3
"May every sunrise hold more promise and every sunset hold more peace."
ISO- the remote. Always the dang remote.
octoberblush is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-19-2011, 07:01 PM   #136
nrsenadenos's Avatar
nrsenadenos
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Cleveland
Posts: 8,874
My Mood:
Re: I need to understand something about those not bf.

Ok, I had to Google D-MER as I see it coming up...I'm thinking I may have had that as well? Is there a way to be diagnosed and/or prevent it?
__________________
Nicole A not-very-crunchy-but-here-anyways Mommy to:
River 10/10/11 Caleb1/29/10, Shane3/31/08, Athena2/5/07,
Jasmine7/20/05
And someone NEW coming in October! Plus 2 angels, 8 chickies, 2 ducklings, and a wolfdog.
nrsenadenos is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-19-2011, 08:10 PM   #137
Clare378
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 3,810
Re: I need to understand something about those not bf.

Because if CDing doesn't work out (too much laundry, not enough dipes, work schedule doesn't allow for it, whatever) you can sell the dipes and never think about it again.

If BFing doesn't work out, you're still stuck with the breasts each and every day, reminding you of your "failure".

ETA: I barely BFed my first. I struggled and cried and hated it and beat myself up about it and felt horrible. I'm not saying that failing to BF is a "failure", but in that horrible mental/emotional state, you can certainly feel like one.
I swear that my MIL still feels guilty for not BFing her kids. Every time she saw me nursing or if anyone mentions nursing, she gets all quiet and blushes and says, "I tried, I just couldn't." All of her kids are grown, older than I am, and have kids of their own, but she's still carrying around this horrible sadness associated with BFing. It's awful. I just want to shake her and tell her that it's not worth it - I married her son because formula brought him up just perfectly for me. When you're in your 50s and have grandchildren, there should be no emotional hangup about your own BF- or FFing history. It's done!

DD1 was FFed months 6-12 and had mostly formula in the first 2 months. Only EBFed for *maybe* a month. And I thought I was just the worst person on the face of the planet for that. It was awful what I put myself through.

Last edited by Clare378; 06-19-2011 at 08:16 PM.
Clare378 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-19-2011, 08:29 PM   #138
mommy2kaitlyn's Avatar
mommy2kaitlyn
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Western South Dakota
Posts: 16,111
My Mood:
Re: I need to understand something about those not bf.

Quote:
Originally Posted by greengranny View Post
And I don't want to put this on the ff board lest it be seen as a personal attack.

If you are cd'ing for the a) money savings, b) health reasons, c) environmental factors, why would you NOT breastfeed for those same, among other, reasons?

Bear in mind that I was a LLL leader and DO realize that there is a small percentage of women that are physiologically unable, but I am not talking about those.

I just can't wrap my head around someone doing cloth for any of the reasons above, but feeding their baby expensive, environmentally unfriendly, chemical - laden (and hormone if it's cow's milk formula) formula.

And no flames needed. I posted this on bf support for a reason. And I'm not bashing with the info above, just stating facts that ARE true of most formulas on the market.
I CD'd because once it got hot and humid my DD was allergic to disposables, something about the combo made her have the most horrible diaper rash. Will I CD again if I am blessed again not sure, probably. Depends on the situation if I am working and I can't then I can't. Not sure I would bother to do it part time, just depends. If financially I had to I would of course.

I also tried to BF. I quit because she would not latch and pumping was causing so much lack of sleep that I was getting migraines multiple times a week to the point were I was in the hospital with them. My saying was DD needed a mama not a zombie. I felt like the walking dead. I pumped til 5 weeks. She got at least partially bm til 8 weeks. I was a moo cow pumping 10-12 oz every 2-3 hrs around the clock. She was eating 8hrs every 3-4.
I do regret not trying harder but I didn't know where to look. LLL wasn't readily available and had no other help.
__________________
Proud Single Mommy of: 1 & 9 angels in heaven. Swags
I will not change my belief's, actions, parenting style, etc just because it offends you! I won't be offended by your belief's, actions, parenting style, etc either. ISO Goodnites Coupons

Last edited by mommy2kaitlyn; 06-19-2011 at 08:30 PM.
mommy2kaitlyn is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-08-2011, 05:00 PM   #139
PinkDenial
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 69
Re: I need to understand something about those not bf.

I cloth diaper mainly for the cost savings. I formula feed because I had supply issues. I nursed every two hours or more, pumped in between every nursing session, took a prescription drug, took an herbal supplement, had help from lactation consultants, and I was never able to produce more than an ounce or two A DAY. Eight weeks later, I was close to losing my mind while my son was thriving on the formula I had to supplement with.

Breast is better than formula, I have no doubt. But my son needed a happy, sane, confident mother more than he needed breastmilk. I tried, and then I moved on. No regrets, and no guilt.
PinkDenial is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.