17 week loss

[NCFlanagan]

I lost my daughter in April, and chose to deliver at 18wks 3 days (she passed somewhere around 15 weeks, they think). My cycle returned about 5 weeks later, and was EXTREMELY heavy the first 2 times. (I had cycles in May, June & July.) I am currently approximately 5 weeks pregnant (will be 6 weeks on Wednesday) - we "didn't try, didn't avoid" starting in June.

From what I hear, you only have to wait 3+ months if your cervix was manually dilated, as in a D&C or D&E. I was induced without complications, so I was told to wait as long as I felt my body needed.

Good luck mama - you will be in my thoughts.

[NCFlanagan]

Originally Posted by purna079 With a 2nd trimester loss, does your milk come in?

My milk did come in, but I was lucky enough to still be nursing my 2yr old very infrequently. He took care of the surge in milk, and weaned completely about a month later.

[emeyer76]

I am so sorry. My experience was similar to a lot of mamas who have posted - I delivered our son Marshall at 19 weeks (although he passed earlier around 15 weeks). I had bleeding for about 2 weeks and then my next AF came maybe 5-6 weeks later, and my first 2 cycles were REALLY heavy, and then these last 2 were "normal."

We just started TTC with this past cycle (no-go ) so I can't tell you how quickly fertility returns. But my doc told us that it was fine to start trying right away. I personally needed time to heal emotionally, and kind of wanted to honor my son's due date without the stress of TTC, so we started trying after that anniversary had passed. Your heart and your body will know when you're ready.... just let yourself do and feel whatever and however you want to. I'm so sorry for your loss.

[yellowitchgrl]

I've lost 3 in the 2nd trimester. The one that I went to 18 weeks with and delivered vaginally took nearly 2 months before I got another period. I bleed for about 3+ weeks. With my 15 week I bled for close to 3 weeks and that cycle was 37 days (I believe) starting at the day he was delivered. With my 12 week loss it was bleeding for just over a week, and a 32 day cycle.

After the 18 week loss (Zach) I got pregnant again after 1 full cycle and that's when I lost the 12 weeker (Toby).

I'm monitoring my fertility after Simon (he was the 15 weeker that I lost in June) and I am not impressed with my cycles. This is cycle 2 and it's still pretty off. I'd temp and wait until you have a really good looking cycle then start the next month. But that's just me. I'm probably never going to TTC again so it's more that I was in your shoes after my first loss and wish I'd have waited a little longer.

Best of luck mama!!!

[girlichick]

I lost our fourth, a girl (Abby) at 24 weeks, 5 days in June. I bled on and off for the first 6 weeks, and my period started at 6 weeks PP and lasted a full week. So I guess this is my first "normal" cycle. My milk came in too, but I have a 1 year old who was still nursing and that did help. I'm so sorry for your loss. This has been so incredibly difficult and heartbreaking for all of us.

Our baby had umbilical cord torsion, which basically means when her cord was forming it twisted and eventually cut off her supply of nutrients & oxygen. We could tell when she was born that it was very twisted right in front of where her belly button would have been. Our doctors & midwives told us this was something that would probably never happen again, and as soon as we felt ready we were fine to try. They said there was no need to wait & leave it up to God if we wanted to. We are not preventing, and since we use NFP anyway (to avoid/achieve pregnancy) I've started charting (we use the Billings method, no temping). I would love to be pregnant again. I feel you mama.

[Christylkeller]

Thank you ladies! I know this is sooo hard for all of you! I truly appreciate your willingness to share with me your experience. I don't know anyone else who has had a true 2nd tri loss... I know a few that had a missed miscarriage that was discovered at 15 or 16 weeks, but none that went through with L&D. Your stories help me to not feel so alone!

I had my 2 week appt yesterday. The pathology of the placenta came back fine. There doesn't seem to be any reason for my sons sudden death. The perinatologist did tell my DR that my son's eyes were probably open due to the whatever caused his death. It breaks my heart to think that he might have been in pain and suffered...

I was given the clear to resume all regular activities as I felt ready for them. And I asked about future pregnancies... she of course recommended waiting 3 months, but said that there was nothing wrong with just leaving up to God. I pray to get pregnant again soon. I struggle to get pregnant and I know in my mind that it really is up to God, but my heart wants to just be pregnant again.

Keeping you all in my prayers!

[sheenashine]

Mama, I am so very sorry for your loss. I lost my little boy, Marco at 17w in February. I was able to birth him naturally and will always be grateful for that opportunity to hold him and say good-bye. They never did find out why I lost him... but I suppose they can't test for everything.
I bled for about 2 weeks after his birth, it was very similar to the pp bleeding I experienced with my daughters births. We started TTC again as soon as that was over, though I did take that first month off fertility meds. It was my fourth cycle (3rd round of Clomid) when I finally conceived again. Honestly, that was the first month my body actually felt ready. My cervix had still been a bit open and soft through the 3 cycles before- but my MW said there wasn't any medical reason for me to wait- so I didn't.
Here is a link to my FF charts: http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/1c6665
You are in my Ts&Ps mama. GL! <3