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Old 08-07-2011, 06:18 PM   #1
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Anxiety the Next Time Around

Hi moms,

I am mom to a 35 weeker. His birth and subsequent months afterwards were the most traumatic and awful of my life. He is now a very healthy 2 year old, praise God because he was one sick little guy for the first year or so of his life.

I am pregnant with my third (my first one was full term, the second was the preemie) and I am currently 33 weeks and the past week or so I have been having serious anxiety about everything. I have already been hospitalized twice for PTL, but thankfully the past 2 weeks have been somewhat uneventful. But I am just so afraid of having to go through the preemie experience again. I find myself being paranoid over the silliest things from weird pains to irregular movement patterns (baby moved at 10 pm yesterday why isn't baby moving at 10 pm today?).

For those of you that have had preemies and then had more did you struggle with this? How did you push through?

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Old 08-07-2011, 09:23 PM   #2
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Re: Anxiety the Next Time Around

hey mama ...

I hear ya. We have 3 munchkins - 3.5 year old, 20 month old, 2.5 month old. All three were preemies. I developed different varieties of high blood pressure (PIH, preclampsia and eclampsia) with all the pregnancies. Our oldest, was born at 35weeks 5 days and was very sick too. She had pulmonary hypertension and spent 11 days in the NICU. She was a very sick lil' girl. Our second was born at 35 weeks 4 days - he spent 5 days in the NICU, but it was due to jaundice and too make sure he was eating/gaining enough weight. Our newest addition was born at exactly 33 weeks. He was a tough lil' guy and only needed respritory assistant the first 2 days in the NICU and the next 10 days were spent helping him learn how to breath and eat at the same time. It was quite the struggle.

The 'preemie experience' is hard. I was so fearful of reliving the NICU world again and then again - it doesn't get easier. And unless a mama has been there, they can't understand how hard it really is.

It is easier said then done, but you need to know there is NOTHING you can do and stressing about it will only increase your odds of PTL.

The highlight though is that no child is ever the same. Statistically we were told that white males have a harder time if born prior to 38 weeks - the neonatologist referred to it as "wimpy white boy syndrome". But both our preemie boys were much healthier than our daughter. The son that should had severe jaundice being 33 weeks, barely had it. Those lil' stinkers have a mind of their own and you are just along for the ride. This baby could arrive at 34 weeks and be PERFECTLY healthy. You never know....

Best of luck!
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Old 08-07-2011, 11:33 PM   #3
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Hugs mama. I know exactly what you are talking about and it is hard but somehow we manage and at the end it is all worth it.
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Old 08-08-2011, 11:05 AM   #4
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I can kind of relate. My first was full term, second was a 31 weeker. With my third I was a little paranoid, but honestly we had no idea why or second was preemie, and I really felt like it wouldn't repeat. I ended up in l&d several times starting at 23 weeks, but always was sent home with an ok, and never put on full bedrest. My ob did put me on a modified bed rest around 30 weeks, basically just told me not to overdo it. I made it to just under 38 weeks before she was born. I would say since you are more aware of ptl this time, and how to take precautions, you should try to relax (i know it's hard) and pray for the best. Make sure you are getting plenty rest and stay hydrated.
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Old 08-31-2011, 01:00 PM   #5
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Re: Anxiety the Next Time Around

Hi there.

You are not alone. I have 3 little ones. My first DD was a full term 38weeker. But it was a very difficult pregnancy and labor with multiple admissions into the hospital starting at 28 weeks. 14 months later, I delivered a 32 weeker who spent 1 month in the NICU. And most recently I delivered a 31weeker that weighed in at 2lbs 15oz. Not too bad. She also spent a month in the NICU. BUT I spent a month prior to her birth in the hospital on mandatory bedrest.

Today, I'm glad to say that my oldest started Kindergarten 2 days ago. My 2nd child/1st preemie is healthy and starting preschool next week. And My 3rd/2nd preemie grew 3 inches in one month. You wouldn't be able to tell any were early or that they had any issues at all.

Your fears are valid. None of us want to have difficult pregnancies or issues with our children, but in the end you have that bundle in your arms and that makes all the hard work worth it.

Just try and remember that God gave you that little one. He knew you were the perfect mommy for that baby inside you. I've learned over the years, that the preemies seem to rule the world. They must know that they are ready to take on anything and have a hard time staying inside.

Good luck and will be praying everything is going well!
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Old 08-31-2011, 03:19 PM   #6
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Re: Anxiety the Next Time Around

Thank you! I will be considered full term on Friday, just a few more days. I am so thankful to have made it this far. Now I just have nerves about the birth bringing back up the terrible memories from my last one.

And I have to agree with your statement about preemies. My preemie is the toughest, strongest little guy I have ever met!
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Old 09-15-2011, 06:44 PM   #7
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Re: Anxiety the Next Time Around

I wanted to come back and update this thread after giving birth. I had an amazing birth experience this time. It was completely unmedicated in the tub and he was 37 weeks 5 days. It was as close to a homebirth in a hospital that I could have gotten. I struggled a little bit with some fear while I was pushing that he would come out and they would take him from me. DH said I kept saying "Please don't take him, please don't take him". But he was perfectly healthy and I got to hold him undisturbed for over an hour before he was weighed and measured at my request.

HOWEVER, about three days PP I had a REALLY hard time. I had been feeling it all day but then when I went into my baby clothes and found the outfit I bought for my preemie while pregnant to bring him home in and he never got to wear i had a break down. I realized just how much I missed out on with my preemie. It took us MONTHS to bond and over a year to get him healthy. He never slept or ate well due to his illnesses and it was just hard. I struggled with anger at the doctors and just plain sadness over what I had missed with him. Even though we are so close now and he is a perfectly healthy 2.5 year old I mourned what we missed deeply. The next morning I had DH bring him into bed with us and I snuggled him until he woke up and that seemed to help a little bit.

Anyway, I just wanted to share my experience with you. Being a preemie mom is hard! And thank you all for your responses earlier. (((hugs)))
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