Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 09-25-2011, 11:05 PM   #1
KiteGirl's Avatar
KiteGirl
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: New England
Posts: 293
My Mood:
Previously-non-co-sleeper needs a Family Bed suggestion, STAT

Hey everyone!

We've never co-slept before and my son has always been happy in his own crib/bed. He transitioned from the crib to the bed happily, and would tell me "I'm all cozy!" when I tucked him in. He used to fall asleep really quickly and stay asleep all night. He always woke up happy.

This past couple of weeks, though, he tells us "I don't like my bed!" and says, "I sleep in Mommy and Daddy's bed!" Which is where he is sleeping right now. He also started waking up and saying things like, "I had a dream that Daddy was a green alien!" and "I feel sad!" or "I so scared!" We ALWAYS respond quickly, our room is really close to his, but it's not enough. I think he needs more comfort than us running from one room to another in the middle of the night. He's also recently potty trained, and I think he wants to be closer to the bathroom at night. (Although he's never had a night accident.)

I recently when back to work, and he started preschool, and I honestly think he just wants to be near us. And that's COOL. We want to support that. Our biggest parenting philosophy is to roll with the punches, and always make sure we're taking care of Cy's emotional needs- and I think right now he needs to feel like being in our bed is an option.

However, I don't know how this works. Will it traumatize him if I "transfer" him into his own bed in the middle of the night? If I should keep him in my bed all night, how do I get used to it so that I can sleep? (Queen size, I am a bed hog. My husband sleeps with a CPAP machine.) How do my husband and I secure time together when "Bed Time" has traditionally been our ONLY time to be alone? Is my son getting good sleep with two adults there, too? Do we need to go to bed at the same time as he does? He seems happy to lay down alone in our bed. I'm so confused!

Any ideas/comfort/advice/tips would be GREATLY appreciated. With all those questions, maybe just a book I can read? Ha!

Advertisement

__________________
KiteGirl: Mother of one boy, Cy Wife and Partner to John, educator, and perpetual student. I'm into cloth diapering (although Cy is a potty-using boy now!), babywearing, crib sleeping, vaccinating and circumcising, and am happy to support you in what you believe, as well.
KiteGirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-26-2011, 12:22 AM   #2
smokeyswife's Avatar
smokeyswife
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Northern CA
Posts: 278
My Mood:
Re: Previously-non-co-sleeper needs a Family Bed suggestion, STAT

How about putting his bed in your room, next to yours? That way you and your husband still have your space, but he is right there next to you at night when he needs you. That is what I would do, and we kind of have the same arrangement, although my little guy is younger. We bring him into bed with us the first time he wakes up. When my husband is gone (frequently from May-October), he sleeps next to me all night. My girls (11 and 13), co-slept with us, in the same bed...and then the same room in their shared bed....until they were 4 and 7.
smokeyswife is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-26-2011, 05:17 AM   #3
KiteGirl's Avatar
KiteGirl
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: New England
Posts: 293
My Mood:
Re: Previously-non-co-sleeper needs a Family Bed suggestion, STAT

Thanks- I'll think about that one!

One of the issues is that I get up to run at 5am, my husband leaves for work at 6:30, and Cy normally sleeps until 7. I'm hoping he'd still get enough sleep!
__________________
KiteGirl: Mother of one boy, Cy Wife and Partner to John, educator, and perpetual student. I'm into cloth diapering (although Cy is a potty-using boy now!), babywearing, crib sleeping, vaccinating and circumcising, and am happy to support you in what you believe, as well.
KiteGirl is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-26-2011, 05:31 AM   #4
jcalumna's Avatar
jcalumna
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 760
Re: Previously-non-co-sleeper needs a Family Bed suggestion, STAT

My MIL's philosophy was to allow the child to lay on the floor next to her side of the bed & she would reach down & hold the kid's hand. Now she laughs and says she wishes she had a mannequin arm & hand so that she could have been more comfortable.

With the child to laying on the floor next to the bed holding mama's hand, it allowed the child to be close to mama and comforted, but not so comfortable that they would not go back to their own bed in subsequent nights.
__________________
Happily married wife and SAHM
My ISO: Matching/Coordinating Children's Outfits
jcalumna is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-26-2011, 07:26 AM   #5
nakedbabytoes
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Wonderful Nebraska!
Posts: 5,901
My Mood:
Re: Previously-non-co-sleeper needs a Family Bed suggestion, STAT

I say you just roll with it. Adults tend to worry & over think things when it comes to kids. It's a phase & he is showing you he needs this now but there is no reason to think he will next week, next year, or when he's 18. Allowing him in your bed after a bad dream or during big changes in his life independence wise(preschool, PT, etc) is NOT setting him up for failure or coddling him.
I say go with it. Follow his lead. If he's needing it, let him in or you cuddle with him in his bed. Take him back to his bed if you want or leave his bed after he goes to sleep or not. That's more a comfort level thing for you. I don't think you're gonna scar anybody by putting him back(or leaving if you go to his bed instead) but I don't think you're creating an issue by allowing him to stay either.

He is normally fine just not now. Roll with it. There is no reason to think he won't go back to his independent little confident self soon enough with positive support.
__________________
Bye bye.
nakedbabytoes is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-26-2011, 08:09 AM   #6
addicteddad
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Richmond, VA
Posts: 909
Re: Previously-non-co-sleeper needs a Family Bed suggestion, STAT

I agree with the bed in your room advice. Meeting your child's need/perception of safety and security is arguably the most important thing you can do for their developing brain.
addicteddad is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.