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Old 09-30-2011, 06:57 PM   #1
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I don't need help staying busy.

My dh is gone out of town a lot and I work full time so my house takes a beating during the week. I try never to plan anything on the weekend if I can help it because it is my time to clean and rest up for the week ahead. I am so sick of family calling saying they feel sorry for me that I am home alone all the time and that I need to get out and do stuff with then that they have then planned. They can not get it that I need the weekend to recover I do not need help staying busy my life is busy enough. Does anyone else feel the same way?


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Old 10-01-2011, 06:22 PM   #2
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Re: I don't need help staying busy.

My DH is home two weeks gone two weeks. We did it together as a family for 4 years, and now that DS has started school, and homeschooling isn't for us, I have a job at home. I get you. I find that I find a rhythm though, and yes I need the weekend. I always say, "it would be wonderful if you'd take Caleb for a couple hours, that would really help me catch up on some stuff and he really wants to see you." My mom lives beside us, so that does help. I actually like it a little when DH is gone. Don't get me wrong, I love him, and I'm glad when he's home, but there is a peace after being together 24/7 for that length of time. You're the MOMMY! You can do it. Tell them that you would love to, but you just aren't sure you can. Try talking through the week about the laundry and the cleaning you have to do on the weekend. I finally said I had to clean because the house was nasty. Was it nasty? No, but you get the idea. Actually, the house is cleaner without DH home all day messing it He's a human tornado, but he's getting better, and I really do love him with my whole heart. Tell your family that you'll have to see what you can do. It'll get better. I try to talk a lot too about how happy I am that I got a job at home and that DH will hopefully get a job soon. I'd love for someone to say they felt sorry for me. I'd just have to remind them that we've had out together
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Old 10-02-2011, 05:08 PM   #3
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Re: I don't need help staying busy.

Yep. When I was a SAHM everybody thought I should do things because I had all the time in the world. (NOT) And now that I'm working people think I should do things because we have more money now. Um, thanks.
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Old 10-03-2011, 06:58 AM   #4
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Re: I don't need help staying busy.

Yep, I get this from my mom more than anyone. I really think it's because she was a SAHM and she's just trying to do things for me that she would have found helpful as a SAHM with young children. However, I WOH full-time, so I often struggle with how to respond appropriately to the things she suggests ("No, mom, I don't want to join your Sunday afternoon knitting group. That's 1 of only 2 days each week that I get to spend with my DH & DD"). I've found that politely asking her to help with things that actually are helpful to me has improved the situation. ("Would you mind if DD & I came over to your house for dinner on Mondays, so that I don't have to cook after her dance class?") Now, I'm getting some help that I can actually use and my mom feels like she's helping.
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Old 10-03-2011, 10:36 AM   #5
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Re: I don't need help staying busy.

Argh! I'm in the same boat. Dh works nights so I'm home alone most of the time, doing 90% of the housework and other things that need to get done. However, I have discovered that I do need some time to interact with others my age, so I try to go out at least once a month for a few hours. Dinner with friends, for example. Or a mall trip with my sisters. It does help to keep my sanity.

Please don't forget that as a mom, you do have to make time for yourself as well. I spent nearly 4 years working, cleaning, cooking, being a mom and nothing else. I lost a part of me and it wasn't pretty. So now I devote a bit of time to myself and it helps me be a better mom and wife.
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