Thanks both of you... for the perspective tweedledum and for the defense cacasey.
I feel like my motives aren't "right"... that I want him trained for ME and maybe that's part of the negativity too. But I also feel that he IS ready, and I'm just missing something to get through that final hurdle of him wanting to be clean all on his own... and that I'm letting him down. Unfortunately, my way of coping with those feelings is to get frustrated and I don't handle that well.
There is pressure of him being the only one in his playgroup that isn't in underwear. There is pressure from parents who trained us by 2 years old. There are my two good friends who had also trained their little ones by now. That's all on ME, not on him... and I need to let it go too.
You're right, mama. That may be why you're so angry. I find the best thing for me was just to approach it matter-of-factly. You need to teach the kids good toileting habits. Think of all the times you yourself use the toilet: when you wake up, before you go to sleep, before getting in the car to go somewhere, and after meals. Build those toileting times into your kiddos daily routines, after all, they're going to be doing that for the rest of their lives! They might as well start getting used to it now. Just make it a habit that EVERYone in the family sits on the toilet at those times (well, everyone that can at least sit up by themselves ). Don't even tell him he needs to pee or poop in it. Just say, really coolly and matter-of-factly, "After waking up, everyone sits on the potty." Make him sing a song, count to 60, whatever, then wash and dry hands anyway (doesn't matter if he doesn't go, "It's good to practice!") If all goes well, he'll figure out that if you're going to make him sit there anyway, he might as well pee and poop there and skip the diaper change so he doesn't have to interrupt play time also! HTH, and good luck!