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Old 10-28-2011, 06:43 AM   #31
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Re: For those with multipe same gender kiddos :)

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Originally Posted by mamaerinx3 View Post
My opinion, wait.
I've seen a lot of people here say you'll resent that baby after its born if you don't find out, but as a mama it's just not possible!
I don't think any of us have suggested there would be any resentment toward our babies.

But being disappointed, or mourning the loss of your plans and expectations can definitely be a reality, especially for those who are done having children.

I've always wanted a very large family. If I knew we would be able to conceive again (and add all sorts of variety to our brood), I would wait the full 9 months. Because frankly, who cares what the kids gender is? I'd be be thrilled to be the mother of 6 boys and 1 girl!

But knowing that this might be our 1st, last, and only child... yes, I'll be a bit upset if it's not a girl, because there's a potential finality to it.
I'm already looking at all the cute little boy clothes, and I'll be thrilled to welcome a boy(and DH is certainly pulling for team blue), but a part of me will mourn my lost dream of a girl.

A dear friend of mine spent 10 years trying to conceive, and experienced many many failed rounds of IUI and IVF. She loves her young son more than words can describe, but she cried after the ultrasound when she found out it was a boy.

If I had a child with a disability, I wouldn't resent it. Sure, I'd have to adjust my expectations, but a child with Down Syndrome would be perfectly satisfying to me even though the abortion rate for pregnancies with a DS is 90%+ (which I find repugnant. There are heaps of people who would adopt them).
While I could easily judge others for considering disabilities "to be totally different" than gender disappointment, I don't. I find the very idea of being upset over a differently-abled child to be saddening, just like others might find the preference for a certain gender upsetting.

Children are blessings, but having to adjust your expectations and let go of dreams can be difficult. Not resentment-creating, just difficult.

To each their own, and come what may. :-)

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Old 10-28-2011, 04:50 PM   #32
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Re: For those with multipe same gender kiddos :)

My husband was so disappointed at the u/s to find out that K was a girl. He wanted a boy and was so sad. I don't want that same disappointment. If we have another girl, hopefully the sight of the baby will overpower that disappointment. I think after losing a child. He is going to be more open but just in case. I want to avoid that disapointment.
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Old 10-28-2011, 08:19 PM   #33
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mamaerinx3
My opinion, wait.
I've seen a lot of people here say you'll resent that baby after its born if you don't find out, but as a mama it's just not possible! I have 2 girls and a boy, my son was my only ultrasound and I was happy to get what I wanted...but with my girls I wanted boys both times, I can honestly say it was no less exciting than my sons birth and I definitely didn't resent them for a moment!!! I think it is the most exciting thing in the world to hear "it's a..." when you meet that baby! We bring one pink and one blue outfit to the hospital and just buy neutral clothes before baby comes
If you wait, I promise there will be no dissappointment in the delivery room
I don't think anyone here has said they will resent their baby.

IF a mama is really hoping for a certain gender, there IS going to be some disappointment...doesn't mean we still don't cry for joy that we are holding a healthy screaming baby. Doesn't mean we love them any less and I am hurt to be accused as such.
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Old 10-28-2011, 08:21 PM   #34
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Re: For those with multipe same gender kiddos :)

I have two boys and a girl. We did not find out the sex of the last two. I prefer not knowing until I see the baby. It was even more awesome when they said my last was a girl. We have a great picture of my face with her on my chest when they told me.
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Old 10-28-2011, 08:47 PM   #35
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Not in your ddc but I have all boys, and while some pregnancies were identical, others were completely opposite.
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