JuneBugs chat - Oct 23rd-29th

[bluedaisyma]

Originally Posted by annaelise I just do NOT feel like doing housework. I just feel like it is someone else's turn to do this, but I feel guilty thinking this. I know I'm the mom and I stay at home and I signed up for this and so it is mostly my responsibility but it is just so hard to do everything and yet I feel guilty when I leave my husband's ironing for him to do or leave dinner dishes in the sink and ask him to do it because I just can't look at those food particles in the sink without gagging. I just feel guilty asking for him to do "my" chores. How do other SAHMs handle this?

Originally Posted by canadianbakers I don't necessarily think of all the chores as "my" chores. I mean, I do the majority of them, because I am home all day. But my "job" as a SAHM isn't to do the chores, it's to take care of the kids - some days that means they play on their own a bunch and I can tidy/clean, some days that means they need me to cuddle, read stories, and play with them all day - no chores get done. I do expect DH to help out with the chores - there are a few he normally chooses and I do the rest. Works out. Although it's been driving me absolutely nuts that he's stopped doing the supper dishes the past couple weeks - basically since I started getting really sick and needing him to cook supper. But this means I need to get up every morning and before I can feed the kids and make/pack lunches and snacks, I have to clean the kitchen and dining room. Drives me bonkers.

yeah, uh, to me, the M in SAHM stands for MOM, no Maid! If I had a nanny and I worked all day, all I would expect her to do is take care of my kids and maybe straighten up their stuff. Not clean my toilets!
I have older kids, but they have all been doing their own laundry since they were about 5-8. They each have a day where they wash dishes (our dw is broken) and they also do one big chore a week- mop or vacuum, etc.
DH washes our laundry and the diaper and towel laundry and I fold and put it away. I straighten and de-clutter, do 99.9% of the grocery shopping (with usually only the toddler, but sometimes DH or the kids come to help). I do most of the cooking (DH works most nights) and clean the bathrooms. Uh, sometimes the bathrooms get cleaned.
My thought is this, I am here to homeschool 1 of my sons, make sure the other does his college prep and gets to work on time, get the other 2 to high school and so forth, ferry people to practice, take care of the toddler- which includes 24 hr nursing sometimes, and growing this little one. As long as we have some clean towels, food in the larder and dishes to eat off of, I let the rest just go until I, or someone else in the family, can deal with it. Of course, I have let my standards go a lot. I have joint custody of my teens, so I am always in the car getting them to/from their dad's, etc and therefore have less of their help then if they lived here FT. So, lots of days, it's "throw some shredded cheese at the toddler to snack on and play youtube vids for him"- survival mode type things

[canadianbakers]

Originally Posted by bluedaisyma yeah, uh, to me, the M in SAHM stands for MOM, no Maid! If I had a nanny and I worked all day, all I would expect her to do is take care of my kids and maybe straighten up their stuff. Not clean my toilets!

Love that, Jul!

[graceworks]

Originally Posted by bluedaisyma yeah, uh, to me, the M in SAHM stands for MOM, no Maid! If I had a nanny and I worked all day, all I would expect her to do is take care of my kids and maybe straighten up their stuff. Not clean my toilets!

This is such a good point. I need to have a heart to heart with DH. I don't think he sees it as my responsibility as much as I do. He pitches in when I ask, but its hard to lower my expectations. Like I like dinner dishes done right after dinner, not right before bed or to see them in the sink in the morning. He doesn't see messes...so if I don't nag or if I don't clean, I feel like nothing will ever get clean.

I have to say though...he is so sweet for being great about all the poopy diapers I save for him to dump in the toilet. That makes me so pukey so when DD poops I just wrap up the diaper and save it in a wetbag for DH to deal with later. it makes a huge difference for me.

DD has a cold. So a really rough night...she didn't sleep til after 3 and then woke up again at 5:45 but then luckily slept til 8. She's napping now I hope it lasts a looooong time. When I was up with DD in the night I was having some menstrual feeling cramps and was starting to get so nervous but things seem ok now.

It's snowing here (northern NJ)! They say 4 inches or so! crazy!

Also thanks Elena for the tip on how to quote more than one person!

[mother of 4, soon 5]

Im very nauseas tonight here at work, it 3am- 4 more hours! I cannot wait to go home and go to bed. Doesnt look like Im going to stay up and go to church today, mamas sleeping, dH will have to take them all- oh itll be so quiet.

[wordmama]

Annaelise - snow = yuck! I hibernate in the winter. I'm told it's deplorable for a Canadian.

We went to a full-dress Halloween party last night. So much fun, but man am I tired this morning. Naps all around today! Only two more days till my scan. I can't wait. With my nausea easing off in the last few days, I'm a little nervous.

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