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Old 11-03-2011, 08:17 AM   #1
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Conflicted about birth location..

Okay...so I'm really conflicted about where to give birth. And the fact that I'm conflicted...makes me think that I should probably just stay home to birth. Don't get me wrong the birth center is beautiful..but I did so well laboring at home last time. It was so easy and peaceful. I hate the idea of having to leave and get in the car, even if I'm ending up somewhere pretty.

One of the reasons why we chose the birth center was because we hated our old house. Well, now we have a nicer place. I love it here. Why would I leave?

Another reason was cost- if the birth center was accredited, it would be mostly paid for, but it's only been open for a year, and I'm not sure that it will be by the time I give birth. If it's not, it will probably be a little bit less to birth at home.

sigh. I think since my last birth was so peaceful and undisturbed up until the end, I'd like to just stay in one place and try to keep it peaceful. It was also fast, so my midwife wants me to call her AS SOON as I feel any contractions. What if I start feeling contractions, and we go to the birth center, but then they go away when I get there because it's not where I really want to be or feel safe?

So I'm just thinking out loud. This is probably my last pregnancy (my husband says so, anyway), and I want it to be as good as possible. I don't want to mess it up, and I want to have the best possible memories of the birth....any other thoughts?

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Old 11-03-2011, 09:48 AM   #2
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Re: Conflicted about birth location..

Maybe play it by ear? Why settle now- do you have a mw who will come to your home? Then when you do go into labor- if you feel like going to the BC- then go- if not, call your mw and stay home- maybe look into UC and have whatever supplies on hand that you would want in case you decide that route- personally, if there are no medical reasons that necessitate firm decisions now, I see no harm in NOT having a hard and fast decision- even up until the end. I wouldn't really worry about it- just look at the options- have things laid out if you decide to stay home- but let the BC know that you may decide to come there. Right now, I would just be at peace with letting things be up in the air for now and trusting your feelings at the time- and enjoy the rest of this pg!
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Old 11-03-2011, 08:24 PM   #3
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Re: Conflicted about birth location..

We are the same way. I have Medicaid for my health insurance, so they would cover everything. I would LOVE a hospital birth for the pain meds (as I have long, very painful labors). But my times are getting shorter. I have had 30, 20 and then my last one was 10. So.. maybe this one will be 5! IDK!!

My last birth was a home birth for my 2nd surro-daughter. It was beautiful, although painful. DH was helping, and we work as an amazing team. It was such a special time with him. At the hospital, nurses are taking over for DH, counting to me, telling me what to do. HOWEVER, I did wish I had pain relief. It was pretty unbearable. But if I had a shorter labor, I know it would not be so bad.

I just hate hospitals. They "check" you like every couple hours, constantly nag and poke and prod. Sticking needles into little one for anything and everything. Won't let us sleep with the baby, and yell at us if we fall asleep with her on our chest. I HATED it. My home birth was amazing. We took a nap on the couch, then watched TV, ate food. I took a shower and was feeling up for doing my hair and makeup 2 hours after birth.

I know I want to have a home birth, for the peace and the awesome memories. I just have to convince myself it's worth the pain. And the pain of dealing with insurance that will hate me for doing a home birth. So I have no idea. I thought about playing it by ear, but I would NEED to let my MW know I am considering a home birth and would need her by atleast 30 weeks, even though I'm getting my prenatal care by my OB that INS covers.

IDK.. it's tough! I totally agree about wanting to stay home. There is something so peaceful about laying on your own bed, or your own couch, or just relaxing at home through contractions. I get nervous/excited if I have to go somewhere, and I think that would make it worse for me. Plus I HATED the hospital having to check me all the time. I don't dilate till the last second, so it was pointless. And no, I'm not going to push just because you said so.

So.. I guess my mind is made up. Just have to convince myself into it again.

I would go with whatever you think will be good for you! I have the most amazing memories of my home birth, and it wasn't even for my own baby. So I know this next time around will be amazing. I loved it, and DH was so supportive. If it wasn't for the horrible pain, you couldn't pay me to go anywhere else.
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Old 11-05-2011, 10:38 AM   #4
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Re: Conflicted about birth location..

Home birth is where it's at IMO. You have your peaceful relaxing environment where you can eat and do what you want, and you don't have to go anywhere directly before or after labor. If this is your last pregnancy, you might want to give HB a chance, it's just as safe as a hospital or birth center for low risk pregnancies.
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Old 11-05-2011, 10:47 AM   #5
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Re: Conflicted about birth location..

A homebirth with a qualified midwife is worth any expense to me.

But if you do go to the birth center and labor slows down, that's totally normal. It will probably pick back up once you get settled as long as you really are in active labor. Some ladies even experience their cervix closing back up a little bit, but once labor resumes they open right back up.
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Old 11-05-2011, 11:07 AM   #6
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Re: Conflicted about birth location..

It sounds to me like you really want to stay home. So I say stay home. You wont have to do or go anywhere unless you want to. I'm having my first homebirth and I am so looking forward to so many aspects.
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Old 11-05-2011, 04:46 PM   #7
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Re: Conflicted about birth location..

Thanks for the thoughts, everyone

I know that it's just as safe; the safety factor is not why we chose the birth center. When we were choosing a location/provider in the beginning, we were in a different home and hated it, so we didn't really want to have a baby there. We've moved since then, and love our new place. Not only does it have a whirlpool tub, but also it would be a perfect place for a home birth since the bedrooms are downstairs and public space is upstairs, so there would be lots of privacy. Money is a small factor; I'm actually not sure how much insurance will cover, but it's probably about the same for the home birth or the birth center.

The birth center is beautiful- but I just might stay home. I finally brought it up to my husband today, and he can't understand why I wouldn't want to go to the birth center, but says that he will pretty much support whatever I decide. The midwife says that she thinks I'll probably want to stay at home...so I think I'm going to do what someone else suggested and just wait until the moment to decide

Thanks again
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Old 11-05-2011, 04:56 PM   #8
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Re: Conflicted about birth location..

Let your husband know that its a hell of a lot easier to be in labor while *not* in a vehicle. Not that he'll really understand but its a reason and men like to have a solid reason. Oh, and not having to put a newborn in a carseat. I hated that part of coming home. I would rather not move for days and just snuggle baby.

Anyhow, glad you figured it out. I would love to have a whirlpool tub, I'm jealous.
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Old 11-05-2011, 05:29 PM   #9
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Re: Conflicted about birth location..

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Originally Posted by Whipple View Post
Let your husband know that its a hell of a lot easier to be in labor while *not* in a vehicle. Not that he'll really understand but its a reason and men like to have a solid reason. Oh, and not having to put a newborn in a carseat. I hated that part of coming home. I would rather not move for days and just snuggle baby.

Anyhow, glad you figured it out. I would love to have a whirlpool tub, I'm jealous.
Haha. He should know how hard it is to get me in a car in labor! He had to get me to the hospital last time while I was pushing! The hospital was only 5 minutes away- the birth center is 10 minutes. I totally don't want to have to go to the birth center and then leave just a few hours later- seems like a waste of time!
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