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Old 01-16-2012, 07:59 AM   #1
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HELP! ds wont sleep without my nipple in his mouth!

Ds is 10 weeks today. He used to take a pacifier, but won't anymore. The last week, he has been unable (or unwilling) to sleep without my nipple in his mouth. Hes not eating, and often not even sucking. As soon as it falls out, he begins rooting and if he doesn't find it quick he begins screaming. If I try the pacifier, he wakes up and screams louder. He is literally attached to me ALL night, and about 85% of the day.

I really don't mind the daytime, but my back is killing me nursing him all night, and I'm exhausted waking up every 10 minuets when he looses suction.

Any advice???

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Old 01-16-2012, 08:10 AM   #2
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Re: HELP! ds wont sleep without my nipple in his mouth!

hmmm... we just sort of went through this, but my DS is almost 5 months, so that age difference probably makes a big difference. We had gotten to the point where he would only sleep in bed with me, which just wasn't working at all. Neither of us were getting very restful sleep, plus I really couldn't manage going to bed WITH him in the evening, so I decided we needed to do something to get him sleeping in his crib. Here's what I did (at bedtime):

I nursed/rocked him to sleep and waited for him to fall asleep nursing. Then I unlatched him and put him in the crib. Predictably, he freaked out I picked him back up, bounced/rocked/soothed until he settled down, then put him back in the crib, where he freaked out again. Repeated this process MANY times, until I was able to just soothe him by rubbing his back/shushing/talking to him while he was in the crib. Eventually he fell asleep. It's gotten easier every night since then and he seems to be getting better quality sleep (I sure am).

You could try this. I was open to the idea of cosleeping, but I realized it just wasn't working for us. I guess you could call what we did "sleep training," but I was comfortable with it because I didn't let him cry.
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Old 01-16-2012, 08:31 AM   #3
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Re: HELP! ds wont sleep without my nipple in his mouth!

Quote:
Originally Posted by theonenonlymrssmith View Post
Ds is 10 weeks today. He used to take a pacifier, but won't anymore. The last week, he has been unable (or unwilling) to sleep without my nipple in his mouth. Hes not eating, and often not even sucking. As soon as it falls out, he begins rooting and if he doesn't find it quick he begins screaming. If I try the pacifier, he wakes up and screams louder. He is literally attached to me ALL night, and about 85% of the day.

I really don't mind the daytime, but my back is killing me nursing him all night, and I'm exhausted waking up every 10 minuets when he looses suction.

Any advice???
Side-lying. If you are open to bed-sharing, this is a great tool for nursing moms. I'm thinking your LO might be going through a growth spurt, or maybe he is just meeting his needs for closeness to mama.

I like this quote from The Baby Book by Dr. Sears:

"It is a natural, appropriate, and desirable part of development for a baby to be dependent. A baby needs to have needs. A baby who's forced into independence (to become a self-soother) before his time misses the needs stage. A baby needs first to learn to bond to people before things. If a baby can't have needs, who can? If the parents can't fill those needs, who will? Later in life you may be very distressed to see who or what will be used to fill needs that went unmet in infancy."

I know it can be hard to be up with a LO, especially frequently through out the night. They really aren't trying to bother you. They have a need and feel safe asking you for help. That is a beautiful, though sometimes exhausting, thing. If you can keep things in perspective, it might help you to not get so overwhelmed. This time is short-lived. Babies grow quickly into toddlers, then young children, then teens and then they move on. Each stage brings greater independence, all in due time. Try to enjoy the snuggles and the fact that your baby loves to be near you! That is a really sweet message he is sending...

Remember, also that breastfeeding isn't just about feeding. It helps a baby re-connect to Mama, feel warm, safe and it releases the hormone relaxin in the the baby's (and mama's) brain which causes them to relax and induces sleep. Babies, under 4 months old, sleep very differently than an adult. They don't go into a deep sleep cycle the way an adult does. After 4 months, they tend to follow more adult-like sleeping patterns, but even then, they will need help going back into deeper sleep from lighter sleep and most continue to need to nurse for nutrition.

I think the key is finding a way to meet your babies needs, while meeting yours, as much as you can, too. Bed-sharing has really helped us with this. But don't feel like it will always be this way. My LO has slept many nights in his crib, in our room. He has slept many nights on my chest or in my arms and many nights next to me in bed. As his needs change, we change things. I think parenting, especially night time parenting, is about being flexible and compassionate, ya know? And something that really helped me not get frustrated was when a friend pointed out that even adults sleep differently from day to day. Its uncommon for an adult to go to bed at the exact same time every day and sleep the exact same way. Same with baby. Some nights they will wake more than others. Its an ebb and flow. Try not to focus on the "bad" nights. There probably aren't as many as it *feels* like there are. KWIM?

Anywho, I hope that helps a little and maybe gives you some encouragement.
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Last edited by colin-mylilguy; 01-16-2012 at 09:05 AM.
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Old 01-16-2012, 10:16 AM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by colin-mylilguy

Side-lying. If you are open to bed-sharing, this is a great tool for nursing moms. I'm thinking your LO might be going through a growth spurt, or maybe he is just meeting his needs for closeness to mama.

I like this quote from The Baby Book by Dr. Sears:

"It is a natural, appropriate, and desirable part of development for a baby to be dependent. A baby needs to have needs. A baby who's forced into independence (to become a self-soother) before his time misses the needs stage. A baby needs first to learn to bond to people before things. If a baby can't have needs, who can? If the parents can't fill those needs, who will? Later in life you may be very distressed to see who or what will be used to fill needs that went unmet in infancy."

I know it can be hard to be up with a LO, especially frequently through out the night. They really aren't trying to bother you. They have a need and feel safe asking you for help. That is a beautiful, though sometimes exhausting, thing. If you can keep things in perspective, it might help you to not get so overwhelmed. This time is short-lived. Babies grow quickly into toddlers, then young children, then teens and then they move on. Each stage brings greater independence, all in due time. Try to enjoy the snuggles and the fact that your baby loves to be near you! That is a really sweet message he is sending...

Remember, also that breastfeeding isn't just about feeding. It helps a baby re-connect to Mama, feel warm, safe and it releases the hormone relaxin in the the baby's (and mama's) brain which causes them to relax and induces sleep. Babies, under 4 months old, sleep very differently than an adult. They don't go into a deep sleep cycle the way an adult does. After 4 months, they tend to follow more adult-like sleeping patterns, but even then, they will need help going back into deeper sleep from lighter sleep and most continue to need to nurse for nutrition.

I think the key is finding a way to meet your babies needs, while meeting yours, as much as you can, too. Bed-sharing has really helped us with this. But don't feel like it will always be this way. My LO has slept many nights in his crib, in our room. He has slept many nights on my chest or in my arms and many nights next to me in bed. As his needs change, we change things. I think parenting, especially night time parenting, is about being flexible and compassionate, ya know? And something that really helped me not get frustrated was when a friend pointed out that even adults sleep differently from day to day. Its uncommon for an adult to go to bed at the exact same time every day and sleep the exact same way. Same with baby. Some nights they will wake more than others. Its an ebb and flow. Try not to focus on the "bad" nights. There probably aren't as many as it *feels* like there are. KWIM?

Anywho, I hope that helps a little and maybe gives you some encouragement.
Thank you. This was so sweet and just what I needed to hear. I guess I got spoiled because he has been such an easy baby up until now.
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