01-22-2012, 07:30 PM
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Southeast Texas
Re: How to tell midwife I want UAC?
Still think the 5 drinks is a bad example. 5 drinks in what amount of time? Someone arbritrarly deciding they are sober after 5 drinks lacks any credibility whatsoever with me. I don't care how they act, if they take a breathalyzer test they will certainly be over the limit if they drink 5 drinks in less than an hour or two. People drinking and driving because they decide they are sober enough is a pet peeve of mine. I feel pretty strongly about it and the law supports my beliefs, so...
Originally Posted by TrennaII
I wasn't comparing UAC to driving drunk. I was comparing it to driving sober.
The person who can drink 5 drinks and remain sober is unusual. As is the person who can birth alone.
But bartenders have a certain liability, which does not change based on a patron being unusually capable.
Yes you could sue your midwife if you advised her of your plan, and you have a bad outcome. Your heirs could, if heaven forbid something happened to you. Your family could on behalf of the baby too. In some instances the state could even if you don't want to. Some ******* anti midwife vigilante could use it as an example to tighten your state's laws.
You know how hospitals tell you to stay a certain time, and if you leave early you have to sign all sorts of stuff saying you left against medical advice? That gets them off the hook. There is no such way for a midwife to be let off the hook.
Your desire to be honest is commendable but the current legal environment doesn't make this a good thing to do. What's worse: being dishonest, or putting your midwife and possibly your state's laws on himebirth at risk?
I lived in an area where a woman chose UAC, her baby died, and it became a big media disaster. Nobody got sued but the midwife practice was ruined because people didn't trust her to give good advice.
If you wish to take responsibility, you need to take full responsibility. Telling your midwife ahead of time probably makes her responsible.
The most I would say to her is, hypothetically, if I wanted to birth alone, is it a problem for you to know? But be prepared for her to drop you if she's skittish.
Midwifery and homebirth are under attack all over. It's stupid but the best thing women can do to preserve and extend these rights are to not put our caregivers in a difficult position.
I certainly see your argument and it makes sense. With midwives under so much scrutiny, I can understand why they wouldn't want to take risks that may cause them problems in the future and give negative attention to the midwifery practice. For the most part, I believe in being up front about my intentions and desires. If my intentions and desires put someone else's interests at risk, I would expect them to opt out of the situation. In most cases I don't feel lying is a good choice. I would rather deal with the consequences of telling the truth, which in this case would be denial of midwifery service.
In any case, I have decided to continue with and plan for a midwife assisted birth. It is a stretch for me in some ways, but I am getting more comfortable with the idea, especially after reading some of the replies here so thanks for everyone's input
, babywearing, mama to