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Old 01-26-2012, 06:25 PM   #11
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Re: Good news I think...maybe?

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Originally Posted by jbh099s View Post
Well I did basically just that. I let facilitator know and she said she would see what was going on. So I guess we'll see.

I know I should come here, but instead I have just been avoiding adoption boards. My weird way of dealing.
I did the same thing. What you are going through is "normal." I'd get in moods where I avoided anything adoption and if someone asked what was going on I'd just give them a look and they'd get leave me alone.

I give you credit for going for #2. I haven't gotten over what we went through (even though in the end it really worked out) to even consider #2, even though I'd like one. Hang in there. It will happen when its meant to be and your perfect child will find you when its time. For some it just takes a little longer, and that makes it all the more special.

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Old 01-26-2012, 08:20 PM   #12
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Re: Good news I think...maybe?

I hear you mama. (As posted in another thread) Our 3 year old's birthmother is due this summer (we think July) and asked us to take the baby. But, she is ignoring me now (I'm trying to get her to make a doctor's appointment and call the agency so they can start our homestudy - both things she asked me about how to do so I got her the phone #s etc.). I know she is dealing with a lot right now. And I know she needs to work through a lot of things. And I definitely want her to be sure with whatever she decides. But still, summer is a loooong way away. And we won't even be crushed if it doesn't work out. We were not seeking out another baby. And we aren't counting on it now. But I just want to KNOW either way!! Six months to go.... So I''m definitely practicing my waiting skills along with ya.
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Old 01-27-2012, 08:00 AM   #13
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Re: Good news I think...maybe?

Still no word. The facilitator said she was going to let it ride yesterday and contact her today.

I think my husband and I are at a point we would be good either way. But the limbo sucks. Not even just talking about this situation, but the adoption process in general. I am a super planner and so it's hard. Sometimes I second guess doing this again.

sunnymommy-- I thought of you when I went to post this. It is a very long time!

pcjs-- yes, I am thinking "the look" that I retired a couple years ago is going to be making an appearance soon!
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Old 01-27-2012, 09:51 AM   #14
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Re: Good news I think...maybe?

When its meant to be it will happen, just like with your daughter. Its hard to believe that when you've been waiting and watching others get placements and you just want to tell people XXX but just hang in there. I was in such shock when we left the hospital that I just look back and giggle. After all those years, it didn't seem real. All I kept saying to my husband was "there is a baby in the back seat" and then we got to the hotel and I kept saying to the staff "humm... we have a baby" over and over again and they just giggled in delight (and were so helpful and supportive and went out of their way for us). But, I still remember all the upset night of tears and just wanting to burst out in tears when someone asked or tried to make what they thought was a helpful comment and it wasn't. The limbo and not planning really sucks but at least this time you know what you are doing as a mom and what ever you don't have you can buy real quickly (this was us).

If you aren't on parent profiles and can swing it, I'd recommend them. Its very hit or miss. We were on it for five (5) years but that's how our son's birth family found us. It was about $100 a month but its far cheaper than other advertising. Also, make a website (if you use a mac it is super easy) and post the link everywhere. Don't bother paying for the extreme profile on parent profiles... $$$ and never did any good for us.
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Old 01-27-2012, 06:38 PM   #15
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Re: Good news I think...maybe?

We did a private adoption (we weren't actively looking, it just fell in our laps so to speak) but we "matched" at 12 weeks. She never waivered in her desire to make an adoption plan. I hope that lightens your worry.
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Old 02-01-2012, 02:01 PM   #16
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Re: Good news I think...maybe? ***Update***

a little update!
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Old 02-01-2012, 04:35 PM   #17
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Re: Good news I think...maybe? ***Update***

That's kinda how we felt with our son's birthparents. It wasn't the typical progression but if it went well maybe there is a new baby down the road and if not, it was good to get the experience of talking to an expectant parent so when it is really meant to be, it will happen.

Do come and vent to us. Some of us aren't looking right now (we are still iffy on #2 as I don't know if I want to do the process again as much as I'd like #1) so its not a big deal. I found it hard to talk to friends who didn't adopt or adopted and it was easy for them as they were supportive but just didn't "get it." I could see it hard on others looking, especially new in the process but this is adoption. Hopefully, your time will come and soon enough we'll be celebrating your baby announcement and joy.
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Old 02-01-2012, 06:48 PM   #18
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Re: Good news I think...maybe? ***Update***

I'm glad you got to speak with her. It sounds like you have a long wait ahead, but it sounds like you've got a great attitude about it all. I admire so much the patience you must have.
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