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Old 02-02-2012, 11:17 PM   #1
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Hm. I wonder if we fall into 'non-traditional'?

My husband and I have been married for six years. (Going on seven! makes me feel old... lol) He works in the oilfield and is gone for two to eight weeks at a time.
A few years ago, we decided it would be best to separate. I was busy with my own life... my own job... my own friends. He had his own thing going on.
We decided that it would be best to keep the house because of our furbabies. I couldn't imagine giving them away to someone and neither could he. It's not like he was home all that often anyways.
Fast forward a bit. We started dating other people. I was dating a guy and I ended up pregnant. The guy told me he wanted nothing to do with another child and offered me money to 'get rid of it'. I told him to eff off and that was the end of that.
I was well prepared to have a little person all on my own. My parents were awesome about the whole situation and told me they would be there for me no matter what. (they've been divorced since I was nine)
Since I no longer went out, I spent a lot of time at home. My husband (we were legally separated at the time but you cannot legally get a divorce in Texas while the wife is pregnant. Even if it's not the husband's) and I started spending a lot of time together too. We always got along... just grew apart.
He started going to wellness check ups with me. He was there for me when I sobbed when I found out I had to fight for my unborn child because I have an adrenal gland disorder. He was so excited when he found out he was a boy.
We fell in love all over again. This little boy changed our lives - For the better.
My husband is white. I am white. Our child is biracial.
I'm sure we get looks and we have a lot of explaining to do later on in life... but for right now, we're good.

Sorry for the long post.

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Old 02-03-2012, 10:25 PM   #2
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Re: Hm. I wonder if we fall into 'non-traditional'?

Just popped in and wanted to say that's wonderful!
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Old 02-03-2012, 10:44 PM   #3
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Re: Hm. I wonder if we fall into 'non-traditional'?

I was friends with a military couple a few years ago. Her DH deployed, they thought of separating, she cheated and lied about when she got pregnant (said it was after he came home from deployment). Five months later, she had a biracial baby, and her and her husband are both blonde hair blue eyes. 3 years later, they are still married! They definitely have had their ups and downs in their 8 years of marriage but they are holding on strong.

I am glad you and your DH reconnected!! Do people ask you about son being a different color? I don't think my friends know exactly how to handle it when it comes to strangers. They typically go along with the "oh she's adorable, is she adopted?" question and just say yes and keep going. Only close friends and family and his military work know the real situation. They have two older sons and I am not sure if they have figured out what happened yet? I do worry that they will feel betrayed in the future if mom and dad lie to them. They are 9 and 6.
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Old 02-04-2012, 12:01 AM   #4
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Re: Hm. I wonder if we fall into 'non-traditional'?

I haven't really thought of what we will tell him when he finally figures out he's 'different' than us. I don't want to lie to him but I don't want to tell him the real truth until I feel he's old enough. (I don't want to tell a six year old that his 'sperm donor' wanted nothing to do with him and so forth)
My husband isn't home all that often so it's usually just the two of us. I get a lot of people asking if he looks more like my husband. (I think he looks just like me... just way darker. lol)
I bet people do think he's adopted... except when I whip my boob out to breastfeed him. But hey! You can breastfeed adopted children.
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Old 02-04-2012, 04:20 PM   #5
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Re: Hm. I wonder if we fall into 'non-traditional'?

I have a friend that was in a similar situation a few years back and she is still very happily married to her husband and they have four beautiful children together and they are so happy they were 'reunited', so to speak.
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Old 02-04-2012, 10:32 PM   #6
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Re: Hm. I wonder if we fall into 'non-traditional'?

Hey, i do think it falls under here. i also think your husband is an amazing man and give him a hug for me. it take an amazing man to accept a situation like that. no really, it does!
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Old 02-05-2012, 09:50 AM   #7
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Re: Hm. I wonder if we fall into 'non-traditional'?

Quote:
Originally Posted by DillyDay View Post
Hey, i do think it falls under here. i also think your husband is an amazing man and give him a hug for me. it take an amazing man to accept a situation like that. no really, it does!
I totally agree. He is one of a kind. He's an amazing man and father.
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Old 02-06-2012, 10:10 PM   #8
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Re: Hm. I wonder if we fall into 'non-traditional'?

Your post made me smile, I love how love can get you through anything!
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Old 02-07-2012, 08:34 AM   #9
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Re: Hm. I wonder if we fall into 'non-traditional'?

Congratulations! That's wonderful. I actually have a situation that's similar weirdly enough. My exhusband and I were married for several years, separated, divorced, and we've been dating for the last few months. It's just so strange I don't know what to think of it. The love never left. The marriage and the relationship needed SO much work and we gave up too fast and regretted it. And strangely enough, our relationship still has many many obstacles but it's so much stronger this time around. Proof positive that if you love each other enough and want it badly enough, you can overcome nearly anything.
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Old 02-08-2012, 10:27 PM   #10
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Re: Hm. I wonder if we fall into 'non-traditional'?

Wonderful story. Your beautiful family and strong love will get you thru thick and thin.
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