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Old 02-03-2012, 10:02 AM   #11
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Re: DH has concerns

You just have to be vigilant and use common sense. We do respite a lot for a ten year old boy. I have two daughters ages four and 12 months. He's never tried to go into dds' rooms or do anything to be alone with either of them. He's nice to my 4yo, but obviously does not care to spend time with her. The only time there is reason for them to be alone is if I go to the bathroom. If I had any reason to suspect he might try something, I'd just bring dd into my room while I used the bathroom.

DD's three oldest sisters were molested, but have never acted out in anyway, so I don't give any thought to letting them be alone with dd.


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Old 02-03-2012, 11:32 PM   #12
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Re: DH has concerns

I think the risk is certainly there given the circumstances of many of the kids that are in the foster care system - but that is not to say that every child would victimize your girls in some way - I'm certainly not stereotyping here. That being said, there is a risk and I think you are only being responsible parents to consider that and discuss it at length. I would say it is a case by case basis and that if either of you have any inkling of discomfort about a certain possible placement then you need to be free to say no. If your spouse (or you) says no, then that should be respected and you can wait for the next possible placement. As long as you agree to your "terms" (whatever those may be) ahead of time and honor them when the time comes I think it could work for you. While you may want to set age/sex limits for placements you will take now due to the age of your children, you can always open that up for change later on once your children grow and head into teen/adulthood (if you foster that long).
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Old 02-04-2012, 08:50 AM   #13
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Those are valid concerns and that is why we would only take in a child younger than our youngest bio child (who just turned two).
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Old 02-05-2012, 04:33 PM   #14
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Re: DH has concerns

Thank you all for your thoughtful insight!!
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