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Old 02-20-2012, 07:06 PM   #11
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Re: Child led potty training??

Hi there!

It is nice that you want to respect your son's abilities and his own timeline to accomplish something. An important thing to remember is that he will be using the toilet independently before long.

I started EC w/ my 2 younger DDers. My older 2 were conventionally PT. Have you started any small steps toward potty independence? Some suggestions that you could try is to have an open door policy about the bathroom and to speak about how you know when you need to go. There are also easy times to try to sit them on the potty and they might need to go. Usually you wake in the morning needing to go so what about sitting him on the potty or toilet as soon as he wakes? Even if you only do this and get him to pee in the toilet once a day you are still working towards PL. If you see he really is uncomfortable and isn't taking to it after a few attempts you can back off and try something else. Another idea is to keep him w/o a dipe in a safe part of the house like the bathtub and just let him be aware of what's going on w/ his body so he can start making the connection to needing to pee and seeing the pee coming out. Some kids are surprised to see the pee coming out and aren't aware of this happening when they have on a dipe.

It is a big shift to go from diapers to using the potty/toilet. Some kids are very comfortable w/ this and will keep going on using dipes because you don't have to stop what you are doing to use the potty.

Best wishes and feel free to ask more questions.


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Old 02-20-2012, 07:31 PM   #12
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I did that with my last three kids. I potty trained (or attempted to) my oldest and it was frustrating, for both of us. My three other kids were all using the potty around the same age my oldest was...without any intervention from me. Go figure.
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Old 02-20-2012, 09:17 PM   #13
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Re: Child led potty training??

We are doing child-led PLing with DFS. He is almost 3 (April baby) and is totally ready. Every time you put him on the potty, he pees. But, we are never home due to his therapy schedule (he has therapy every single day) and DD1's activity schedule and preschool, so he isn't being pushed by us. I started putthing underwear on him on the weekends when we are home, and just reminding him every so often. He's had some accidents, and some successes.

He's been through a ton in the last year, and is already in behavioral therapy for issues related to his bios, plus his G-J tube. I am not adding additional stress by "making" him potty train. We are just letting him go when he tells us, and not mentioning the accidents (just quietly changing to dry pants).

For DD1, we did the potty timer at 23 months, and she was fully trained in a month.
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Old 02-20-2012, 09:48 PM   #14
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Re: Child led potty training??

Originally Posted by my2sweets View Post
I did. With both girls. I told them what/why things happened and what they needed to do about it and that was that. DD1 decided to use the potty at 2yrs5mos for day and 2mos later for night time. DD2 decided to potty the wk before she turned 3 for days and the wk before she turned 4 for nights. The ONLY time we had accidents was when dd2 was 3yrs4mos and we moved. The move was very stressful for her. Other then that it was easy as pie. No power struggles, crying, reminding, puddles/piles, wet clothes, ect
For real? This sounds amazing. My DD1 took us a year to potty train. No joke. A year of battles and both of us being stubborn to the very end. Granted, there were some medical issues that compounded our problems and led to potty accidents that we were unaware of, but it was awful. I'm think of doing child-led with my DD2. She's already used it occasionally by asking to and she's only 18 months, so we will see what happens.
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Old 02-20-2012, 10:19 PM   #15
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My 3 yo has zero interest in pt and everyone always tells me to wait till he is ready, so we aren't pushing it
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Old 02-21-2012, 07:21 AM   #16
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Re: Child led potty training??

I did it with mine but they were both pretty early. Around 2 my oldest started being very interested in going potty, she asked to be put on our potty and used it. I bought her a little potty and pretty much from the day I bought it she never had another accident.

My 2nd was 15 months when she would start bringing me a diaper as soon as hers was wet or dirty. By 16 months she started trying to get in the bathroom to use the potty, I didn't even think about her being ready but I pulled out our potty seat and since the day I pulled it out she never had an accident either. Both of them did it on their own, it makes me feel very lucky when I hear about other peoples potty training stresses.
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Old 02-21-2012, 07:29 AM   #17
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Re: Child led potty training??

We are doing this with the 2nd one. We tried the he is two (cause everyone said, he is two he should be PT) he should potty train and for 1.5 years it was a huge battle. Not every child is ready to PT at two and no amount of forcing a child will make them PT before they are ready. Sure I could make him sit on the potty every hour (but IMO that is stupid and a waste of my time) and he wouldn't have accidents. That is not a PT kid. Since if I forgot to tell him to go he wouldn't go on his own. I will not repeat that again. This time around we have been slowly intoducing the potty. He will happily sit on the potty and occassionally go. If we try naked time he just pees on the floor. If he says he doesn't want to go then fine he doesn't have to.
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Old 02-22-2012, 02:43 PM   #18
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Re: Child led potty training??

I do that..

Not by choice so much.. more by the fact that I have stubborn kids. lol Miranda was 3.25 and jake.. well, jake will be older than that. lol I spend 6 months talking to them about how cool the potty is, how cool it is to wear underwear.. at different times, different things. put them on the potty before bath, etc every once in awhile... with miranda, I just got her up one day and told her we were going to start using the potty, she wasn't excited, but did it within hours.. had 1 pee accident.. unfortunately, she's still in something overnight at 7.5 years old. ugh. (she's also got some anxiety issues)

Jake, I'm just trying to get down how you potty train a boy, because sitting on the potty doesn't seem like it's going to work well.. (like pee everywhere. lol)
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Old 02-22-2012, 07:22 PM   #19
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Re: Child led potty training??

I wouldn't change a 4 year old. I absolutely understand the desire for child led but I think you can find a balance of a relaxed approach while still encouraging the process. If he seems capable in all the other ways, such as verbal skills, dressing himself, able to physically get up to the potty, etc. than it is likely that he is ready to potty and just needs someone to show him the ropes.
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Old 02-22-2012, 07:50 PM   #20
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Re: Child led potty training??

Little Dude was interested in the potty around 2. He was moderately willing to sit on it, and pottied reliably two or three times a day. Then we went on vacation and I foolishly bought a folding potty sit. It slid around on the toilet and pinched his bum, and that was the end of the potty for a long while. Once he stopped being scared of it, then he just wanted to argue about it. I didn't really feel like playing that game, so I let it go.

He just turned three and Grandma came up to watch him for our first long weekend away. She was bound and determined he should potty and just kept taking him to the potty over and over. I was skeptical, but figured it wouldn't do him any harm for her to try. If she wanted to push that rock up a hill more power to her - he won't fight with Grandma the way he fights with me. (I have actually threatened to videotape him tantrumming, because Grandma does not believe it happens. He turns on the charm with her like nothing I have ever seen.)

Well, apparenty what it took was the potty being someone else's idea, because he's been getting better at pottying every day since then. Grandma went home last weekend and he was actually in big boy underwear all day today. Win!
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