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Old 02-23-2012, 02:25 AM   #11
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Re: Was your dad hands on?

My Dad was absolutely incredible. He came to every field trip, he told us bedtime stories and he took us to the beach in the summer when he got home from work. He used to call from work and sing the Stevie Wonder song "I just called, to say, I love you". When I was a teen and leaving the house to go out with friends, he would walk me out to the car and give me a kiss.

He died in 2005 and it shattered me. He was the heart and soul of my family. I love my Mom dearly but my Dad understood me more than she does. I told him things I couldn't tell her. I'm definitely a Daddy's girl. The only thing that has ever made my heart feel like it healed just a little is seeing the way my DD looks at DH. It's that same pure love and adoration. Totally makes me melt.


In with my DH, crunchy, attached Mama to 4. Homeschooling, long term breastfeeding, CD'ing, babywearing, homebirthing. Could I BE anymore addicted to cloth?!
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Old 02-23-2012, 03:43 AM   #12
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Re: Was your dad hands on?

My dad was a drug addict/dealer. When I was about 1 my mom left my dad and left me with him. Somehow he had custody of me until he was killed right after my 7th birthday. I cooked (I remember making scrambled eggs), I got myself up and ready for school and walked there. I dumped the ashes off his cigarettes and put them back in his mouth. All the while he was passed out on the couch. I remember watching him shoot up heroin. The day after he died I got to go home to get some clothes and stuff and I remember seeing the huge blood stain on the floor and a bullet hole through the wall next to the door and it barely phased me.

I never had brushed hair and it was so matted when he died I had to have my head shaved. I had a TERRIBLE speech delay until I was about 10 and had to be in speech at mom said I talked like I was strung out. So no, he wasn't hands on at all, yet everyone says he loved me.

Then when he died I had to go live with my mom, younger brother and sister, and 2 different super abusive, made us afraid for our lives stepdad's over the course of the next 6 yrs. Then another step dad...he is still with my mom now and I am just warming up to him. He's not bad, but you kinda lose trust in father figures. So dh being a great, loving, hands on dad to our two kids is the first I have really ever experienced and I love him so much for not only being there for our lids but loving them so's not like he has to.
[CENTER]~Shannon~Mama to Addisyn 6.6.10 and Ryan 1.22.12

Last edited by solarbabies; 02-23-2012 at 03:49 AM.
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Old 02-23-2012, 03:59 AM   #13
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Re: Was your dad hands on?

My dad was not a hands on father. Most of raising my sister and I was done by mom. That's not to say he didn't play with us some, or that he didn't love us, he did and we knew it, mom just handled most of the day to day stuff with us.
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Old 02-23-2012, 04:28 AM   #14
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Re: Was your dad hands on?

My dad was not around- by need, not choice. His job required him to travel. I visited him during summers and it was always like a vacation. We stayed in hotels or at his friends' homes ate all restaurant food, did tourist stuff. So I guess that not hands on. I don't know if he changed my diapers as a baby or did any of the "work". But regardless I was always the center of his world so it didn't matter to me and I don't think it mattered to my mom either. She was raised by a single mom and I don't think she would have known how to co-parent.
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Old 02-23-2012, 04:57 AM   #15
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Re: Was your dad hands on?

Hmm, this is a hard question to answer. I was definately closer to my dad because my mom was/is bipolar and was very physically and mentally abusive. My dad tried to be there for me the best he could. We were very close, but I wouldn't say that he was very "hands on". He died when I was 13 and I felt like my world ended. I found out later that he was a cocaine addict, which makes sense now because I remember how he would go through periods of paranoia and locking himself in his room,etc. He committed suicide and I used to be so mad at him for abandoning me. Now, I am just sad that his life was the way it was.
Tanya, mama to four wonderful girls, wifey to my favorite guy
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Old 02-23-2012, 05:23 AM   #16
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Re: Was your dad hands on?

When we were younger, not really. My dad came from a family where kids were seen but not heard. My mom did the bulk of the hands on stuff. But she was always a sahm, and our family was quite traditional. When we were in high school, it was dad who went to all the football games and competitions for marching band. Dad joined the pit crew and made friends with the other parents. He was very involved then. Mom only came to one competition a year and she didn't enjoy it. She always wanted us to sit with her and be all grateful she came. Dad understood we were kids and wanted to be with our friends. We would always come find him, sit with him for a bit and he would give us money and send us back to our friends. I am close to both my parents now. I have a different relationship with each of them.

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Old 02-23-2012, 05:30 AM   #17
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Re: Was your dad hands on?

My dad was very hands on, and still is. When he visits (usually once a week for a night due to traveling for work), he gives the girls TONS of attention and will pretty much do anything with them (games, sit on the floor, books, walks, etc.). Everytime he comes they squeal and scream with excitement. He was great with all of his kids, when he came home from work we were always so happy to see him and he made plenty of time for us. It's like he never said he was tired....he would just find the energy.

DH is very different from my dad. He is naturally introverted so it's harder for him to come home from work and be "on" for the girls. His job is stressful and unpleasant and I know that when he comes home he wants to be quiet and alone and usually sleep (he may have some depression going on, not sure). He is a GREAT dad, don't get me wrong, but I admit sometimes I wish he was more like my father to the girls.
Homeschooling mama to 6 year old twin girls and their sweet baby brother

Totally new to cloth, so any advice and info is much appreciated!
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Old 02-23-2012, 05:42 AM   #18
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My dad was hands on, and is now very hands on with my boys. ODS always says that papaw is his best friend

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Old 02-23-2012, 05:42 AM   #19
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Re: Was your dad hands on?

No, he wasn't.

He has a lot... A LOT...of issues. One of them is he battles with depression (I'd say bipolar although it's never been diagnosed). He also worked a lot. He just wasn't a family guy. Wanted to do his own stuff.

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Old 02-23-2012, 05:54 AM   #20
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Re: Was your dad hands on?

My dad was very hands on. When us kids were born, dads weren't allowed to be in the same room as baby until discharged from the hosp. It drove my dad nuts. Mom said he'd snatch us away as soon as we got home, undress us and inspect every part of us. He changed diapers gladly - thought it was wonderful. He was always there for everything. When I was in HS he became a truck driver. If I had a school program, he'd take the whole week off trucking to make sure he was there to see it. He did fairly short trips so h was home every weekend to hang out with us. He died when I was 22 before dh and I were dating. I always wish he could have met dh and my kids. He would have enjoyed them so much.
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