Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 02-06-2012, 01:06 PM   #11
Mamma527's Avatar
Mamma527
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Houston
Posts: 820
I have been in the same boat. He would go in the potty at school, but poop in his underwear at home.

I think the thing that helped me the most was to just let it go. I set up the rules: you have to have a sticker on the chart to watch a movie, play iPad or play video games with dad. If he got his stickers taken away, fine by me, he's the one who can't do these things anymore. I found that once I stopped getting so annoyed at the accidents he got better. We still have the occasional accident, but he will bounce back from them fast.

Good luck, potty training is hard!

Advertisement

__________________
Jana, wife to Preston; Mother to Mason (5/23/08) and Hunter (7/22/10) WOHM (aerospace engineer). breastfeeding, cloth diapering and new to knitting and dyeing, I also like to sew.
Mamma527 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-06-2012, 04:53 PM   #12
Brier Rose's Avatar
Brier Rose
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Ont., Canada
Posts: 74
Re: Desperate for help with 3yo!

i think that when lo's will do the potty thing outside of the home but not at home, or if they have already learned how to and proved themselves but then regress, then it's an issue of power struggle. and, the only thing that will change that for the better is to creatively challenge them to prove themselves "a big boy/girl".

we went through this with our eldest. one day, after she had several "accidents" in a row, she decided to pee right through her pants while sitting on our outdoor cushioned wicker couch. it was very obviously done on purpose as dh & i had just asked her if she needed to use the potty, a min. earlier, and she said "no". at that, dh got so angry, he picked her up by the waist of her pants so that she was hanging a few feet in the air by his hand, and shouted, "if you say that you don't need to pee, THEN DON'T! but, if you NEED to pee, then do it like the rest of us--in the potty/toilet, NOT ON THE FURNITURE!" and, that was the end of that. dh wasn't harsh; he was simply adamant and non-compromising. dd1 knew that. she cried, of course, but i believe it was neither out of having been shamed or punished, but of having had her game (power struggle) stomped on, mind you, in a rather undignifying and unforgettable way. thereafter, dd1 NEVER had anymore accidents in the day.

was that a negative response to her "accidents"? no, that was a negative response to her purposeful display of power struggle. i think it's important to remember that unless you, as the parent, can clearly differentiate between an honest accident and an honest act of rebellion, then in fall fairness, tread carefully with negative responses.

when dd1 was being night trained, she had just turned 3 and this time, there was no power struggle. only, a sincere desire to be a "big girl". in fact, whenever she wet her bed, she became really upset with herself and i had to encourage her to believe that she will succeed soon enough. she did, and rather quickly.

dd2, on the other hand, is totally different. she power struggles for independence, too, but over the potty, she just has to do it her way...in the bathtub, which i don't mind, as long as she does it in a place, contained and easy to clean. i think it's normal for lo's to power struggle through potty training/learning. it's also equally frustrating for parents, of course!

but, i think that recognizing the issue as a power struggle makes the battle at least sensible.
Brier Rose is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-14-2012, 09:28 AM   #13
beci24
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 581
Re: Desperate for help with 3yo!

Another update- we have had 5 poop successes inthe last 3 days. I don't really know what happened but she is attempting it at least. I did take away her tv watching in the van, no playing on our phones, and her new Thomas trains2 and told her she could earn them back by pooping however I have done this before and she didn't care. Well the other day I found a sticker chart in the back of her potty book and hung it on the bathroom wall over her potty chair and she loves it. I think this has helped her the most and also she likes to go by herself. I told her to go in and stand over her potty and grunt and yesterday she did it twice. I am praying that it has clicked and we will finally be done with this but only time will tell. Oh and she finally earned her privileges back as well as her soccer ball and cash register that have been on top of the fridge for almost a yr she is very proud of herself and we have made a big deal of it however did not call grandparents and such cuz I was afraid it might be too much pressure? But when's she's ready I figure she will tell them on her own. Good luck and I will continue to update for the next few weeks.
__________________
Married to the love of my life Justin - SAHM to Zoey 15yrs old Audrey 6 yrs old Blake 4yrs and Expecting May 2016
beci24 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-23-2012, 04:44 PM   #14
hanhtam's Avatar
hanhtam
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 1,267
My Mood:
Re: Desperate for help with 3yo!

My 3 and a half years old son poop in the toilet for a long time. He just won't pee in the toilet and doesn't wet his bed for a long time. We moved and he won't poop in the toilet anymore. He put on a big fight if I tried to get him to the bathroom for potty . I don't know what to do . Help please ! Sorry for hijack your thread.
__________________
hanhtam is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-28-2012, 03:53 PM   #15
beci24
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 581
Re: Desperate for help with 3yo!

Another update- she is pooping all the time on the potty now. Yay!!! I am not truly sure what did it but she is not pooping in her undies. Like I said before the sticker chart has been a huge success here. I taped it over her potty chair in the. bathroom and she jumps right up to get a sticker and put it on. The sticker chart came out of the back of the "Big girls use the potty" book and she loves it. We are now at almost 2 weeks of pooping on the potty and all her pee on the potty also. Next thing is night time but I'm hoping it comes on its own with time.
So don't give up mamas it appears they will do it when they r ready, even if we think they can do it before then.
Ps my DD will be 3 on march 6th and started peeing on the potty the week of her 2nd bday. So yes it took a full yr of training to get her poop on the potty with a couple months regression in the middle back to diapers when her little brother was born. But it did finally happen!!
__________________
Married to the love of my life Justin - SAHM to Zoey 15yrs old Audrey 6 yrs old Blake 4yrs and Expecting May 2016
beci24 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-28-2012, 08:48 PM   #16
Brier Rose's Avatar
Brier Rose
Registered Users
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Ont., Canada
Posts: 74
Re: Desperate for help with 3yo!

beci24: phew! what a relief, huh? finally!

and, i think what you said is right on: they will do it when they r ready, even if we think they can do it before then.
Brier Rose is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-29-2012, 12:43 PM   #17
beci24
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 581
Re: Desperate for help with 3yo!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brier Rose View Post
beci24: phew! what a relief, huh? finally!

and, i think what you said is right on: they will do it when they r ready, even if we think they can do it before then.
yes, I am so relieved and happy I was sure I was headed here
Good luck to all the other mamas trying to get their LO's there. It will happen.
__________________
Married to the love of my life Justin - SAHM to Zoey 15yrs old Audrey 6 yrs old Blake 4yrs and Expecting May 2016
beci24 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.