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Old 03-19-2012, 02:06 AM   #21
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Re: I can't take the sassiness anymore!

I suggest picking up "Playful Parenting" from your local library.

It might transform your struggles and frustration into giggles and connection.


My LO is under two, so I can't say it worked for me at that stage, but I had the frustration of not being able to turn my back to my crawler for a second without piercing wales. This book helped me see he was distressed, and I turned it into a game to ease his fears. I made it a game of peek-a-boo, and soon turning my back to get a drink etc initiated laughter instead of tears. This book is geared more for older children with behavior problems caused by emotional issues, emphasizing empathy and connection to improve daily interactions with children. It resonated with me.

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Old 03-19-2012, 07:59 AM   #22
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Re: I can't take the sassiness anymore!

I sometimes do the "I will give you ________ when you ask nicely" line, and that usually works, unless there is a full on fit being thrown. If that's the case, I make whichever child it happens to be go to their bedroom until they can come down with a good attitude. Some days it's just over & over back talk & complaining/whining...and then I break out the vinegar. I give them about a 1/2 teaspoon of apple cider vinegar, and explain that just like it tastes yucky, the way they are speaking to me (or whoever) is yucky & not ok. It works so fast! They hate the way it tastes, but it doesn't hurt them (like hot sauce or soap would), and it gets the point across. I only use it as a punishment for the way they talk, not for random disobedience or hitting, just nasty talk (complaining, whining, being unkind/bossy, talking back).
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Old 03-19-2012, 02:11 PM   #23
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Re: I can't take the sassiness anymore!

Um, so this is typical 4 year old behavior? Here I cried my whole day away yesterday trying to figure out where I'd gone wrong. Seriously, yesterday was plain awful.

DD goes from zero to 60 in about 3 seconds over NOTHING. And everything. For her, it's a control thing. I FEEL like we give her a lot of control over her choices, but the second I need something done that's not in her control, wowza. No matter how routine, mundane, teeny-tiny the task - it's a big deal.

I don't have any advice, but I'm trying to figure out how to handle it in a "positive parenting" kind of way. Exccept I'm such a failure as a positive parent. Seems like 50% of the time I end up in a yelling match with her and that's not how I planned out my life at all. Even if I don't yell, at some point she goes and hides in a corner, covers her ears and screams at me to stop talking to her. I just want my sweet little girl back. We're all so miserable right now.
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Old 03-19-2012, 03:16 PM   #24
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Re: I can't take the sassiness anymore!

Yep, that's my 4 year old. I've been through The Incredible Years toddler and child classes. Although I missed a bunch of child classes due to not having a ride or babysitter for my younger. I really want to go again. The sad thing is I KNOW what I should do and say most of the time, but follow through is just stressful. OT just got added to his IEP along with speech this morning so he has other issues but man oh man. I don't know how many times I've said to myself something along the lines of "grrr, stupid safe haven age limits! I'd take him to the hospital RIGHT NOW and drop him off!" Haha.

I do really recommend those classes/books though. They offer them free 2x a year here and the kids attend "Dinosaur School" where they teach them different coping techniques and such for their emotions. It has helped for sure. Maybe you can find some in your neighborhood. Getting out for 1.5 hours to be around other moms/parents to discuss parenting strategies or commiserate over stressful situations is always nice, too.
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Old 03-19-2012, 03:20 PM   #25
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Re: I can't take the sassiness anymore!

1-2-3 magic!!!!!!! She tries the attitude, my son did too. I WON!!! It can be done! This phase is hard but be consistent. We also do some other renditions with the magic program. My kids love their DS, I use that to my advantage. They only get time on the weekends, but they have to earn it. Just find what makes them tick.
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Old 03-19-2012, 08:14 PM   #26
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Re: I can't take the sassiness anymore!

I take the 'you appear to have misplaced your good attitude. Maybe you lost it in your bedroom. Go look for it for me!' In a sarcastic tone. He usually scowls and stomps off to his room, and after a minute or so I'll call out 'did you look under your pillow? Maybe its in your closet!' And he giggles and tells me he found it in his sock drawer or somewhere silly. Making it a little game that also gives us the opportunity to get silly and goof around a bit while being apart for a minute or two seems to help.
Also, when both of us are on edge and he's feeding me attitude and I'm raising my voice (once it starts it seems like it just gets worse and worse until we're both miserable), we 'reboot' and we both pretend to shut off like a robot (relax our muscles and close our eyes) and then beep and wake back up, but we rebooted, so he needs to have a good attitude and I need to be more patient. It worked way better than I thought it would!
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Old 03-19-2012, 09:23 PM   #27
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Re: I can't take the sassiness anymore!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tweedledum View Post
Don't get too excited about it. My 4.5 year old has started using that line back on ME when I use a sharp tone of voice with her. Or, "I don't like your tone of voice, Mommy. I'll be happy to do it when you can ask me nicely." It is SO annoying.
can so see my DD doing this to me.
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