is it ok to wash my sons mouth out w soap?

[Maddalena]

Originally Posted by iris0110 As far as I know he isn't too young for inpatient if he is physically harming you that badly. When my oldest was just a baby my grandmother was living in an assisted living home run by the Free Masons (most of my family are Free Masons including my Grandfather though he had already passed away). The Masonic home had several levels of care ranging from retirement "vilas" and apartments to full nursing home facilities as well as inpatient care for children whose parents could not care for them because of their developmental disabilities. One day while I was visiting I met a family who were visiting their son. They had released him to the home after he crawled into his baby sister's crib one night and broke her ribs with a bat. He was autistic and had become increasingly violent after the birth of his sibling. I don't know if he ever left inpatient care. What it sounds like your son needs is a better doctor who will actually work with you. Things are dangerous in your home. He has special needs. He isn't just a normal teen making trouble but that doesn't mean that someone can't get hurt. If his psychiatrist isn't taking this situation seriously then there needs to be a change of psychiatrist. It is possible he needs inpatient care but it is equally possible he just needs a new team looking at his case. Have you worked with a behavioral therapist before? What about Occupational therapists? He should have a team dealing with his situation not just one person telling you "well try not to make him angry". That is ridiculous.

They won't take him to inpatient. This time they said he already has a psychiatrist and inpatient wouldn't benefit him. That we need to work with his therapist. They refused to take him. Then we saw his therapist yesterday who said she's not going to be with the practice in June so she's not going to start changing anything now. I am thouroughly disgusted to say the least. Here in NY he just falls through the cracks mostly because he's not JUST autistic OR JUST have mental health issues so where one place will work with Autism they won't take him because he also has other stuff and visa versa.
I'm trying to move down south where I can at least get the support of my family...I give up on trying to jump through hoops...after over a decade of trying ...can you blame me? So sick of the political Crap behind all this. The truth is the government doesn't want to pay for these kids so they do very minimal. I mean I am only allowed one service at a time so since he has a case manager I can't get him help with any other agency! That's bs and i know it!

[luvsviola]

Ok, didn't read the other posts. Changing my answer.

Good luck mama. I hope you find a new therapist soon.

[pcjs]

Try these folks:

http://www.opwdd.ny.gov/

Who ever told you you cannot hospitalized a young child is wrong. I've hospitalized all age kids (usually 4 and up). If he is that violent and you are fearful of him harming you or the siblings, he needs to be hospitalized and stabilized and then go to a good school that fits his needs as well as intensive family and individual therapy. I agree with other posters who said get a new doctor and therapist (I know you said you are trying). Next time he is violent, take him to a Children's Hospital if you can and tell them that you are fearful of him harming himself and others and he is a safety risk. Just make sure he goes on a Children's unit vs. adult as a mom and I, took the kid to the regular ER at about that age and they didn't have a kids unit an fit was a nightmare with inappropriate age issues.

[Maddalena]

If i could find a psychiatrist that will take Medicaid and works with kids on the spectrum I sure would! I have been turned down by Kirsh...they have a 2 yr waiting list....anyone in upstate ny know of any?
Do all children's hospitals have psychiatric centers in them? Do they take Medicaid? Conner has been denied at all of the local hospitals one time or another. I never ever thought of a children's hospital!!

[Quickshep19]

Oh wow Mama. I'm so sorry. I have a feeling I will be in your shoes in the next few years. My oldest was quite violent a few years ago & the cause of that extreme violence was overdosage of Depakote, Vyvanse & Adderall. Then too much Haldol that caused stroke like symptoms. When we stopped those meds & put him on Concerta twice a day (off label use per his pschyiatrist) and he was much improved. He is back sliding again due to being away from his dad, playing too many video games & not enough outdoor exercise. This is due to us moving & it being cold here, plus our stuff is in storage. He swears, attempts to harm his 4 yo brother, acts as though he hates me, lies, I could go on.

I had him eat soap before (Dr Bronners ~ if you can brush your teeth with it then why not?), we tried a dab of hot sauce years ago along with one red pepper flake though not together. These things didn't work so were stopped after 1 time esp since he loved the hot stuff. I am thinking maybe vinegar? I mean if people take 1 tablespoon of applecider vinegar to health purposes then why not?

OP, I hope you find a program or hospital for your child. Our new doctor (we just moved) doesn't seem to be much help. His advise is for me to call my husband when he acts up because he listens to him vs me. The majority of his rage is directed towards me & my 4 yo. Seems like stupid advice since I have been doing it for years and it doesn't work.

[pcjs]

Originally Posted by Maddalena If i could find a psychiatrist that will take Medicaid and works with kids on the spectrum I sure would! I have been turned down by Kirsh...they have a 2 yr waiting list....anyone in upstate ny know of any? Do all children's hospitals have psychiatric centers in them? Do they take Medicaid? Conner has been denied at all of the local hospitals one time or another. I never ever thought of a children's hospital!!

As far as I know, they do take medicaid as all the kids I did were in foster care or reunified with parents on the medicaid. We've had far better luck just taking them to Children's ER when things were at their worst and getting them in that way. If you go through the crisis center it takes hours and you lose control over where/how. Far better to make your own plan.

Even if someone has a two year wait list get him on the list and call every month begging. Two years is better than nothing as crazy as it sounds.

Here we have a horrible time finding good therapists and kids psychiatrists as there aren't that many of them. I'd psych. hospitalize first if it were my kid so they can see him 24/7, prescribe medication and monitor to make sure it is correct/adjust accordingly and get a good evaluation done there and then take it to the school and demand a special placement (that's what I have always done).

Good luck. Its really hard what you are going through and have to do but you are doing the right thing. Try not to react to the behaviors in frustration/defeat as it is the mental health issues, not your child specifically. They don't want to behave that way, but their impulses override their common sense. I would try a behavior chart and earn privileges/rewards (for regular kids I don't like them for a variety of reasons but in your situation its ideal as they need to see visual).

[dirtmagnets]

Originally Posted by Maddalena Well the tell me he's too young to be inpatient....maybe not now that he's 13? The police have been called a few times and tell me there is nothing they can do. Primary Dr says its a psychiatric issue and psychiatrist says this is the best It's going to be, he's on max medications. So I'm trying to find a different psychiatrist who will take his insurance. I've been trying for 13 years (not this hard though) and what i found is the government programs are FULL and they just don't want to shell out free help to those who can't afford it. It's a real pickle. I've had it w being turned down for help, from now on I'm writing down who turned us down, they're excuse, and then calling their bosses darn it!

What meds is he on? Has he tried a lot of different meds? We switched psychs for my 6 yo because I just hated the one he started with and he didn't seem to be listening to me about the fact that Ryan's behaviors were getting much worse rather than better after he started him on meds for ADHD. The new one, who specializes in kids with ASDs, changed his meds right away and said he never would have put him on what he was on to start with because it frequently makes kids on the spectrum act out violently.

[Maddalena]

Originally Posted by dirtmagnets What meds is he on? Has he tried a lot of different meds? We switched psychs for my 6 yo because I just hated the one he started with and he didn't seem to be listening to me about the fact that Ryan's behaviors were getting much worse rather than better after he started him on meds for ADHD. The new one, who specializes in kids with ASDs, changed his meds right away and said he never would have put him on what he was on to start with because it frequently makes kids on the spectrum act out violently.

He's been on a plethora of meds. I think we have tried every drug known to man, tried detoxing him from metals, tried gluten free casen free diet, tried 3000 mg a day of flax seed oil...currently he's on risperidal, lamictal, and lamotrigine??? Idk my husband does the meds. I kept forgetting if and when i gave Conner his meds because of my brain injury so daddy took over that.

[pcjs]

I would find new people (and not in the same practice) given how much you've already tried between meds, therapists and psychiatrists. Sounds like you are doing everything possible to get the help. That's when I would want my kid hospitalized, detoxed from the medications and start from scratch as what ever they are trying is not right/working for your child. I'd also want other specialists with testing, such as neurology, allergy (for the food possibilities you are talking about) and other stuff. Sometimes you can get it inpatient and sometimes not. I hate to say this but you're having a hard time with getting services is "normal." When I was a social worker, only when we private paid/cash, did we get better evaluations and services and it really sucked. Most of the time, we had the experiences you are describing. Keep trying and don't give up. Eventually you will find someone who can help and give you the support you need. After 6 months to a year, if something isn't working, switch (even though you then get looked at badly for switching all the time) but his childhood is short and he needs the right help now (as do you).

Check your developmental disability program for any grants or funding. Apply for that but I just learned through our speech therapist that they have one time grants a year for those not receiving DDA services and it isn't income based (I was looking at a summer speech camp for my kid). Apparently it pays for all sorts of things. I'm going to apply but haven't so I can't tell you the process.

Also, given his disabilities, have you applied for social security disability? You may want to so he has it if he cannot work and if you don't need the cash money to support him, you can always take that cash and private pay for services? You can apply online/no going into the office.

[Docs Wife]

Mama I don't know where in NY you are but look up Elmcrest Children's Center.