View Poll Results: Is it ok for SO to take kids to strangers' houses without running it by you?
yes 67 75.28%
no 12 13.48%
other 4 4.49%
only if he has a good reason. 6 6.74%
Voters: 89. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 04-09-2012, 08:39 PM   #21
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Originally Posted by shortcake2386

i get that thats why i was asking. i tend to be a little controlling when it comes to the kids(what the eat, where they go, etc) and it may just bother me more that he didnt call to lmk he was going to be later, kwim?
That's what would bother me, that he went on a sidetrip without informing me. While I understand intellectually that my DH is 'just as much a parent', let's be honest, he didn't carry them in his body for 9 months, so it's just different in some ways...

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Old 04-09-2012, 08:40 PM   #22
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Re: do you let SO take kids to see strangers?

I trust my husband's judgement, so yes.
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Old 04-09-2012, 08:49 PM   #23
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Re: do you let SO take kids to see strangers?

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Originally Posted by mibarra View Post
That's what would bother me, that he went on a sidetrip without informing me. While I understand intellectually that my DH is 'just as much a parent', let's be honest, he didn't carry them in his body for 9 months, so it's just different in some ways...
I agree with this. And if you feel he doesn't watch them very attentively at home, then no, I wouldn't be okay with him taking them to strange houses, either. Aside from that, it isn't so much that he needed to ask permission, but that I should be informed of the location of my children at all times.
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Old 04-09-2012, 08:50 PM   #24
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Re: do you let SO take kids to see strangers?

I trust DH implicitly. If he wants to take the kids somewhere, I am fine with it. Hell, I'm happy to have an afternoon to myself!
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Old 04-09-2012, 09:31 PM   #25
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Re: do you let SO take kids to see strangers?

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I can't imagine telling my dh that he couldn't decide where to take HIS children. I understand your concerns and I'm protective in those ways as well. But he's their parent as well. I trust him to keep them safe, even if it isn't the "perfect" environment.
this...I'd be annoyed, yes...but i guess i always think "if i made a huge deal and some day we separated...he could take them where ever he wanted and wouldn't have to tell me at all".....but that's besides the point. I can totally relate to the "he doesnt' watch them well enough" comment though b/c i feel more ok with that here at our house than i would at someone elses.

My DH does take our kids to CA each summer to visit his mom and that side of the family. I've become more ok with it, i dont' love it, but i also dont' want to go myself lol! Last time though, really P'd me off b/c DH left the kids with his mom over night while he went out with friends and stayed at one of their homes (him going out did not bother me, fwiw, only that I trusted HIM to take care of our kids, and I DO NOT trust his seriously-lacking-in-parental-skills mother based on behavior and choices made when visiting us at our home). They also went to a pool party and i gave a VERY specific order of no drinking and to have an adult assigned to each child (2 of them) and never take your eyes off of them, no matter what...don't trust someone else to watch them. Thankfully, DH is very careful around the water, but still...

ETA- DH wouldn't be out with them around town and going to people's houses unless i was in the hospital or something....he does not do that kinda thing and actually avoids having total responsibility for them if he doesn't have to lol!
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Old 04-09-2012, 09:37 PM   #26
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Re: do you let SO take kids to see strangers?

It's fine with me, our kids are just as much his as mine and he respects me enough to consider my feelings in his choices.
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Old 04-09-2012, 09:40 PM   #27
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Depends. My hubby is very realistic in places that are kid friendly, so I rarely rarely have an issue.
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Old 04-09-2012, 10:43 PM   #28
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I pretty much know everyone DH would visit. It wouldn't weird me out at all, especially if it was his relative. Now, if hubby's relative had a history of drug-use, child abuse, etc, I'd flip, but honestly we wouldn't be married if he didn't take those things seriously. And I have had playdates with kids/moms dh hasn't met, so while I don't see it ever coming up, it would only be fair that I trust his judgement as well. Again, though, I know I can 100% trust hubby's judgement with regards to our children's safety and choice of who we will have around them. Unfortunately, we have a lot of experience with those decisions.
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Old 04-09-2012, 11:24 PM   #29
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Re: do you let SO take kids to see strangers?

i trust my dh with the kids, that said he doesn't ever visit strangers lol just his huge extended family.
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Old 04-10-2012, 06:03 AM   #30
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mibarra

That's what would bother me, that he went on a sidetrip without informing me. While I understand intellectually that my DH is 'just as much a parent', let's be honest, he didn't carry them in his body for 9 months, so it's just different in some ways...
Just a question. Do you make side trips without calling your dh first? I do all the time. He doesnt want to know every stop i make. I dont want him to feel he couldn't do the same thing.
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