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Old 07-26-2007, 09:16 AM   #1
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Dh and his bad language

My dh swears, alot! I am always trying to get him to stop, but he never listens
Dd doesnt talk yet (she should be though, but thats a whole other story). She says mama, dada, quack quack, duck, arf arf, and thats about it.

Well, this morning, she was trying to get her puzzles off the puzzle rack but they were stuck. She was grunting and trying hard to get them but couldnt. So, she gives a grunt, a pull, and says "UCK!"
Isnt that lovely?

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Old 07-26-2007, 09:22 AM   #2
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Re: Dh and his bad language

this can be a hard thing mama

my husband and i used to curse freely before jack was born, as he became more aware though, we knew we needed to curb it. we just made a "cursing jar" and every time anybody said a curse word, it was a quarter in the jar, the F-bomb is 50 cents. any comments that are degrading to another human (said TOTALLY in a joking manner, we don't make a habit of degradation!) such as comments on someone's weight, anything racial in nature, or if someone were to say "that's retarded" is $5.00 in the jar. i take those things very seriously. my little brothers live in our home as well, so i had to take into account things that they would say to influence him.

it worked SO WELL! i seriously almost never curse anymore, whether i'm in jack's company or not, but espeically not in front of him. the money all went to jack's larger piggy bank that we'll use to buy him something nice in the future.
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Old 07-26-2007, 09:37 AM   #3
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Re: Dh and his bad language

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Originally Posted by Fither View Post
this can be a hard thing mama

my husband and i used to curse freely before jack was born, as he became more aware though, we knew we needed to curb it. we just made a "cursing jar" and every time anybody said a curse word, it was a quarter in the jar, the F-bomb is 50 cents. any comments that are degrading to another human (said TOTALLY in a joking manner, we don't make a habit of degradation!) such as comments on someone's weight, anything racial in nature, or if someone were to say "that's retarded" is $5.00 in the jar. i take those things very seriously. my little brothers live in our home as well, so i had to take into account things that they would say to influence him.

it worked SO WELL! i seriously almost never curse anymore, whether i'm in jack's company or not, but espeically not in front of him. the money all went to jack's larger piggy bank that we'll use to buy him something nice in the future.

That is such a great idea! If I could get my husband to cooperate (and not steal from the swear jar when Im not looking lol), I'd totally go for it!
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Old 07-26-2007, 11:21 AM   #4
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Re: Dh and his bad language

uh oh! time to wash DH's mouth out LOL good luck mama hope things work out
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Old 07-26-2007, 12:46 PM   #5
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Re: Dh and his bad language

Both DH and I have this problem. We're trying so hard to get better. The other day we were driving and I made the wrong turn onto a highway, and I let "son of a" slip out - I caught myself before the b-word, but dd finished it for me - she yelled b**** from the backseat. Oh, and if I'm grumbling about other drivers, she'll sometimes call them ******s. Not so much anymore, but it was a fave word a few months back. She also sometimes refers to cheese as g-d cheese, b/c of something my mom said awhile back.

She's old enough now that I feel I can explain that some words are bad and we should not say them. If I let something slip, she ALWAYS catches me now and says - "Mommy" in a really scandalized tone. I apologize to her and we agree that word was not very nice to say.

If SHE says a bad word, I try to very unemotionally tell her that word was not nice, then give her an acceptable alternative. Like, if she days damn it, I'll say - no, babe, we say darn it, not damn it (I'm okay with darn). If she starts saying "oh-s***" when she drops something, I say - no, baby, we say oops! So far, she's been pretty agreeable to changing what she says. I think she mostly likes scolding me.

Maybe if your DH has to start apologizing to your dd when he swears, he'll be more mindful of it.
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Old 07-26-2007, 12:52 PM   #6
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Re: Dh and his bad language

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Originally Posted by Fither View Post
this can be a hard thing mama

my husband and i used to curse freely before jack was born, as he became more aware though, we knew we needed to curb it. we just made a "cursing jar" and every time anybody said a curse word, it was a quarter in the jar, the F-bomb is 50 cents. any comments that are degrading to another human (said TOTALLY in a joking manner, we don't make a habit of degradation!) such as comments on someone's weight, anything racial in nature, or if someone were to say "that's retarded" is $5.00 in the jar. i take those things very seriously. my little brothers live in our home as well, so i had to take into account things that they would say to influence him.

it worked SO WELL! i seriously almost never curse anymore, whether i'm in jack's company or not, but espeically not in front of him. the money all went to jack's larger piggy bank that we'll use to buy him something nice in the future.
lol I was going to suggest the same thing. It works well!
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Old 07-26-2007, 12:57 PM   #7
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Re: Dh and his bad language

My DH has a pretty good mouth... it's ME that has the "worse than a sailor" mouth. And the bad part is that it's gotten TONS better send I got off Active Duty. He just told me yesterday (after about four hours of screeching at the kids to help clean their room as I was the only one working--long story for another thread) "Gotta watch the F-bomb." That was all he said. I know he's disappointed about it because (to the both of us) it does degrade the kids and I know it hurts them. And I have no excuse for it... I lose control and my mouth gets control. It sucks to be honest.

I just have to be very very very conscious of it. What worked for me to at least slow it down, par it down... was to substitute the words for "gentler" words. I know it's the concept behind it but if the words can be substituted, then at least it's a start.
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Old 07-27-2007, 01:37 AM   #8
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Re: Dh and his bad language

Yep - Im the sailor mouth around here too.
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Old 07-27-2007, 02:20 AM   #9
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Re: Dh and his bad language

dh is the same way.
thanx for posting this
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Old 07-27-2007, 04:09 AM   #10
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Re: Dh and his bad language

I've cursed one time at my oldest...it wasn't bad....I was REALLY PO'ed at her for making me late for an important appt....I told her to get her @$$ in her car seat. (She's 3) I felt SOOOO bad after that! Honestly, I don't know why or how anyone could curse like that in front of a child. Of course I have never once heard my hubby curse and my temper has to REALLY get the better of me, but never have I said anything other that "a**" in front of my kiddos.

Now my FIL on the other hand....now that's a whole nother story! Every other word is GD this and MF that....I get to where I can't STAND to be around him! If he's had a little to much to drink it gets bad! I kindly tell him I don't like that language around my kids and if he continues we will not visit anymore.
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