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Old 04-18-2012, 08:10 AM   #21
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Re: DCP is great with LO, but

mmm...sounds concerning OP. You have a tough choice to make. Bring it up and take the risk or wait it out and hope for the best. I would bring it up but I know that is going to be very hard for you. If your son has been there 7 months and is still crying in the morning (does he go full time?), that could be a sign that he really isnt happy there anyway. Are you sure that he is just crying during drop offs? I call my daycare parents a minute or two after they leave or send a text picture so they know for sure that their child is not crying longer than just drop off. 7 months seems a little ridiculous to still be crying during drop offs.....thats just my opinion. Even the toughest kids usually dont take more than a month to transition here. Now if your son is part time at the daycare, I could see that taking a long time. Part timers dont have the consistency of seeing the provider every day at the same time over and over.

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Old 04-18-2012, 10:26 AM   #22
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Re: DCP is great with LO, but

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mmm...sounds concerning OP. You have a tough choice to make. Bring it up and take the risk or wait it out and hope for the best. I would bring it up but I know that is going to be very hard for you. If your son has been there 7 months and is still crying in the morning (does he go full time?), that could be a sign that he really isnt happy there anyway. Are you sure that he is just crying during drop offs? I call my daycare parents a minute or two after they leave or send a text picture so they know for sure that their child is not crying longer than just drop off. 7 months seems a little ridiculous to still be crying during drop offs.....thats just my opinion. Even the toughest kids usually dont take more than a month to transition here. Now if your son is part time at the daycare, I could see that taking a long time. Part timers dont have the consistency of seeing the provider every day at the same time over and over.
The bolded section short answer is: you're lucky!! I think it all depends on the kid and I think my kid is super difficult.

He's in daycare 4 days a week. So I consider that full time.

I WISH I had a good answer. He's a crybaby with e-v-e-r-y-o-n-e. Has been since birth. It's been exhausting and ridiculous. We see DH's parents weekly and he bawls his head off when one of them even comes CLOSE to him, never mind hold him. And we KNOW they're safe. He will literally start welling up and looking to cling to me while I'm holding him if someone else stares at him long enough. But a quick internet search will prove that's not just me Some kids are just clingy. Social anxiety.. whatever. I've posted about it several times and lots of the Mamas here basically said it's nothing I've done and he just needs to grow out of it.

I have called after drop off and showed up an unexpected times and he is fine. He laughs at the kids, will sit on DCPs lap and look around, entertain himself in the jumperoo... I believe what she tells me, I just don't know how to handle the situation with her own kid. How do you basically tell a parent they're not disciplining properly? I can't imagine any mama would take well to that, business or no business. Other than the Barbie head incident my child has never come home with an injury, scrape, etc.. nothing. So I don't have a lot of claim to say I feel he isn't safe, really.. because he obviously is.
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Old 04-18-2012, 12:37 PM   #23
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Re: DCP is great with LO, but

okay well good luck with your little one and his provider. I absolutely agree that some kids have a lot more anxiety than others. Trust me, I have three kids and have done daycare for five years and know a lot of other providers.....I have seen a few really tough kiddos and I hope he grows out of that, I know it is really hard on moms too! It sounds like he is okay though since you are checking on him in several ways.

IF you decide to talk to her, I would never say "you are not disciplining appropriately". Like you said, that comment is really not going to go over well with any mom. I would approach it like "Hey Susan, I'm really happy with J being here at daycare with you. We are very happy with the care you give him but I do have one concern that I was hoping to speak to you about. A couple of times when I have been here I have noticed little Aiden being a bit rough with the other kids. I know that I am usually here during the busiest part of your day at pickups and dropoffs but I was concerned about a few things I saw him doing. Can you remind me what your discipline policy is for the kids and how you handle things that come up with the kids behavior? I wanted to make sure that we are on the same page about what behavior is acceptable at your daycare, even for when J is mobile and up and around with the big kids."

You dont have to point fingers. Just drop a little tidbit in her ear and make sure you are on the same page with what behaviors she finds acceptable in the daycare. If her son is doing these things, she may even be allowing some rowdy behavior with the others, its just not something you have seen yet. OR maybe she needs a reminder that moms are watching and that you DO care about the environment your kid is in and not only the care they are directly receiving. She should have a discipline policy in writing so that parents know how she plans to handle things that come up. If you discuss and still see rowdy behavior, that will be something else to consider.
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Old 04-18-2012, 12:59 PM   #24
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Re: DCP is great with LO, but

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IF you decide to talk to her, I would never say "you are not disciplining appropriately". Like you said, that comment is really not going to go over well with any mom. I would approach it like "Hey Susan, I'm really happy with J being here at daycare with you. We are very happy with the care you give him but I do have one concern that I was hoping to speak to you about. A couple of times when I have been here I have noticed little Aiden being a bit rough with the other kids. I know that I am usually here during the busiest part of your day at pickups and dropoffs but I was concerned about a few things I saw him doing. Can you remind me what your discipline policy is for the kids and how you handle things that come up with the kids behavior? I wanted to make sure that we are on the same page about what behavior is acceptable at your daycare, even for when J is mobile and up and around with the big kids."
Genuis. I can never think of words when I need to... now how to tell he without reading off a screen

Thank you thought, seriously. I know in general she follows the discipline rules set by each individual parent, but I do need to have that chat with her.
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Old 04-18-2012, 06:26 PM   #25
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Re: DCP is great with LO, but

My middle son takes advantage of when I am talking to any other adult and misbehaves. It's embarrassing but I have to ask the other adult to hang on a minute and address his behavoir. He gets consistant discipline but still decides to act out when other adults are present.
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