3 yr old dinner and waking in the middle of the night

[alyssa&rylan's-mommy]

I have the same "policy" as you. I make dinner, you eat it or you don't, but I'm not preparing anything else for you (unless of course it's something that I know ahead of time that they don't like, but there isn't much at all that my kids don't like). When hubby is on day shift though, I try to have supper ready as soon as he gets home (about 4:30), so before bed the kids get a small, healthy snack (but this is regardless of whether they eat or not, just because we had supper so early). If it was truly a growth spurt, I would think it would be every night, not just on nights that she has refused supper. I think it's more of a "if I don't eat now, I can always eat later" thing. Or at least that's what it would be with my kids.

[mibarra]

I find it interesting how many parents expect almost blind obedience when it comes to eating: you eat what I say when I say or you go hungry. I probably won't be popular but I find that silly. We base the mealtimes on when WE are generally hungry. If we're not that hungry at lunch, we'll have a snack when we feel like it. If we didn't eat a lot at dinner and woke up hungry, we'd get a midnight snack. I guess I don't understand why we expect different from our kids. I know it's not the same in some ways, but how would we like it if someone made dinner everynight at a time they picked, said eat it or too bad, and then expected us to not touch anything til breakfast?

I like the PB&J idea, the make it yourself idea, and the small healthy bedtime snack plan. I suppose if for some reason you feel like she HAS to eat what you make hell or high water, you could put her plate in the fridge, and get it back out when she wakes up in the middle of the night...

Good luck!

[napua]

Originally Posted by mibarra I find it interesting how many parents expect almost blind obedience when it comes to eating: you eat what I say when I say or you go hungry. I probably won't be popular but I find that silly. We base the mealtimes on when WE are generally hungry. If we're not that hungry at lunch, we'll have a snack when we feel like it. If we didn't eat a lot at dinner and woke up hungry, we'd get a midnight snack. I guess I don't understand why we expect different from our kids. I know it's not the same in some ways, but how would we like it if someone made dinner everynight at a time they picked, said eat it or too bad, and then expected us to not touch anything til breakfast? I like the PB&J idea, the make it yourself idea, and the small healthy bedtime snack plan. I suppose if for some reason you feel like she HAS to eat what you make hell or high water, you could put her plate in the fridge, and get it back out when she wakes up in the middle of the night... Good luck!

I agree!

[Nerissa]

I make supper there is always something they like. That may be the main item, the fruit, veggie or bread, and thier milk. they can eat how much and what they like of the meal. Before bed they each can have one container of yogurt.

I don't fight about food and I dont make seperate meals, but I also don't deny food.

[happysmileylady]

Thanks for the responses everyone!

Some clarifications:

Generally around here, we are also "eat when you are hungry" grazer types during the day too. For the most part, if she comes to me and says she's hungry, she gets some apples, some yogurt (just a bit ago is was cut up "coo-coo-numbers!"-cucumbers) etc. Unless I am in the process of making a meal, then it's "just wait, mommy's cooking, dinner will be ready in just a bit." This is why, normally when she doesn't eat, I just assume she's not hungry and don't worry about it.

Also, when they are old enough, I don't have a problem at all with them getting their own food instead. And, if I make something I KNOW they don't like, I will certainly ensure that they have something they DO like on the table too.

And, for the most part, my 3 yr old is the OPPOSITE of picky. She eats almost anything. If she's hungry, there's very little that she won't eat. It's not that she's refusing a lot of stuff, just randomly, and it's stuff she has enjoyed in the past. And I don't know that she's actually connecting not eating dinner with getting up around 3am either. It's more that DH and I have noticed the connection. I am not even sure that she's actually hungry, or if that's just an excuse to come see Daddy when she wakes up in the night. She only eats a bit of whatever we get for her.

I like the idea of a small bedtime snack while reading bedtime story.

[mibarra]

Originally Posted by happysmileylady Thanks for the responses everyone! Some clarifications: Generally around here, we are also "eat when you are hungry" grazer types during the day too. For the most part, if she comes to me and says she's hungry, she gets some apples, some yogurt (just a bit ago is was cut up "coo-coo-numbers!"-cucumbers) etc. Unless I am in the process of making a meal, then it's "just wait, mommy's cooking, dinner will be ready in just a bit." This is why, normally when she doesn't eat, I just assume she's not hungry and don't worry about it. Also, when they are old enough, I don't have a problem at all with them getting their own food instead. And, if I make something I KNOW they don't like, I will certainly ensure that they have something they DO like on the table too. And, for the most part, my 3 yr old is the OPPOSITE of picky. She eats almost anything. If she's hungry, there's very little that she won't eat. It's not that she's refusing a lot of stuff, just randomly, and it's stuff she has enjoyed in the past. And I don't know that she's actually connecting not eating dinner with getting up around 3am either. It's more that DH and I have noticed the connection. I am not even sure that she's actually hungry, or if that's just an excuse to come see Daddy when she wakes up in the night. She only eats a bit of whatever we get for her. I like the idea of a small bedtime snack while reading bedtime story.

I figured that was probably the case, but I try not make assumptions. Seems like you generally have a good plan! I know the night waking would drive me crazy, but I also try to live by the motto "This too shall pass", though it's hard sometimes!

[badmisterkitty]

If our 4 year old doesn't eat or isn't hungry at mealtime, I leave it on the counter or put it in the fridge until she IS hungry. Nine times out of ten she'll go back and finish it within an hour or two. We also do bedtime snacks. Usually fruit and milk or a treat like a granola bar.

[pumkinsmommy]

My daughter does wake up hungry sometimes and I get her a snack. I try to give a half of a peanut butter sandwich if dinner was iffy as I know she will get hungry. I have a box of cheerios beside my bed right now because I have such difficulty getting up in the night. I could never let her go hungry.

[Hope4More]

Love the crackers by the bed idea. I'm gonna steal this!