I NEED SLEEP!!!! How to get my 2 year old to sleep at night w/o CIO

[whiteyacht]

Originally Posted by LittleABC I wondered about that. The hunger thing. But more along the lines of being thirsty. He is so busy during the day, I am wondering if he isn't drinking enough. Then at night he is really thirsty.

Whole milk [in a bottle! *gasp*] seems to be what is helping my guy. I don't want to let him wake enough to sit up and eat a real snack, but if he chugs down some fatty calories, he is often good for a few hours.

[emerino]

Is he still in a crib? My DS used to repeatedly get up to ask for me to tuck him in. I finally realized he was just using that as an excuse to get up. So then I would tell him go back to bed, I already tucked you in. That did the trick. Unless there is a physical reason, like a growth spurt or sickness, there's no reason why a 2 year old shouldn't soothe himself back to sleep. I don't think it's abnormal for a child to wake during the night. But he needs boundaries and I think he's old enough to understand them. If he were mine, I'd tell him before bed, "Here's your pacci and blanket. Mommy and daddy will not give it to you again. And no drinks after bedtime.". When he wakes asking for something i'd say "Your blanket is right there. Mommy won't get it for you because your a big boy and you can do it." I don't believe in CIO either, but I do believe boundaries and expectations are necessary. Kids meet the expectations that are set. I try my hardest to ignore fits for attention, but after a certain amount of time, I will try to comfort the child. I hope you can settle this problem and get some sleep!

[gigismomma]

Originally Posted by keen1981 If it were me. I wouldn't do it anymore. This isn't about needs anymore. I think it's habitual waking, an inability to self sooth (at all) and control. My methods involve crying. But not necessarily CIO. I would NOT be getting up 6x with a two year old.

I agree with all of this.

[LittleABC]

Originally Posted by gigismomma I agree with all of this.

So does our pedi dr. LOL. I do to. I just have a soft spot that needs to harden a little I guess

[pcjs]

Originally Posted by LittleABC haha. funny. He does have them in his bed. But he is lazy(unlike my girls) and wont reach for them. Just lays there and screams for them till I get up and find them and give them to him. Pacifier strap?

I would not use a pacifier strap at night as it could do more harm than good. Really now, whose fault is this behavior... yours.... you cater to him, just like I do to my son. He's learned. I have the kid who would never hold a bottle, ever but he could but would not. Now, here's the deal... you kick your husband out of bed and make him do it and make it clear until you sleep, he doesn't get to sleep. If that doesn't work, good luck, just give him what he wants and get back to bed asap. We found it went through phases but normally we have a good sleeper. I don't get the sleeping tantrums but we get them too. We just wait it out, try to calm him down and he usually goes back to sleep at some point.

[pcjs]

Originally Posted by LittleABC I wondered about that. The hunger thing. But more along the lines of being thirsty. He is so busy during the day, I am wondering if he isn't drinking enough. Then at night he is really thirsty.

This is possible. We have that issue with the growth spurts. My kid has to have 2-3 sippys before bed. I'd give a sippy (we do formula but you could do milk) - we use the nuk ones which are like a bottle nipple (but we are getting away from them now).

[LittleABC]

Originally Posted by pcjs I would not use a pacifier strap at night as it could do more harm than good. Really now, whose fault is this behavior... yours.... you cater to him, just like I do to my son. He's learned. I have the kid who would never hold a bottle, ever but he could but would not. Now, here's the deal... you kick your husband out of bed and make him do it and make it clear until you sleep, he doesn't get to sleep. If that doesn't work, good luck, just give him what he wants and get back to bed asap. We found it went through phases but normally we have a good sleeper. I don't get the sleeping tantrums but we get them too. We just wait it out, try to calm him down and he usually goes back to sleep at some point.

[KaleidoscopeEyes]

melatonin?

[luvsviola]

DFS is 3 and still wakes up several times. I just have told myself that he won't go to kindergarten doing it. He wakes up, screams hysterically, which makes him cough, and then he pukes many nights. He's done it since he was little. This isn't about trauma done to him...he's lived with us almost all his life, and he did it before he ever got sent to live with his bios. Generally, it is after 3 am. He's tube fed, so he isn't hungry.

I wish he could co-sleep, but A) he's foster and B) he's got a tube. So that is out of the question.

[H's mom]

He wakes up screaming and crying for either paccy, blanket, drink, for me almost anything.

It sounds like there's already a lot of crying going on at night, he's been trained to cry to get something he can get himself or doesn't need. So, the way I see it, if he's going to cry, might as well be CIO so that you can put an end to the crying once and for all, no?

My 16 month old is not a very good sleeper either. He goes through frequent phases of waking up at night and refusing to be put down. From the age of 3 months to 7 months he woke up every 1.5 - 2 hours every single night. It was painfully exhausting for me. The first night we did CIO I slept like an angel because I knew I didn't have to get up. (Ach! Horrible mother I am. Call CPS stat!) Most the time I'm back to feeling sympathy for him, and that's why I get up now, but every once in awhile when I haven't slept through the night for a couple weeks, we let him cry it out and that's the only thing that gets him back to normal.

Anyways, that's our story in a nutshell. I hope if you decide to do some form of CIO that you do not feel bad about it. Parenting is full of tough choices, and when you have a difficult child it just means that you have more tough choices to make.