Had the circumcision talk with DF!!

[crunchymom2b]

Ever since finding out this baby is a boy I've been terrified to tell DF I don't want to circ him. I have no problems with the circ itself, but if something were to go wrong during a cosmetic surgery I don't think Icould live with myself. DF is very mainstream as is both of our families and I did not expect himto be receptive whatsoever. I figured a huge arguement would ensue.

Want to know the first thing he said? "Well, what about when they're in the bathroom and they ask why they're different from eachother?" I was shell shocked! He was open, did not want to discuss it in detail but agreed to think about it and offered no other arguements. The one he did give is easily gotten around IMO. I did not push it as then he would have gotten mad but he was so nice about it! Now,that doesn't mean I'll win but we're off to a great start that he's even open to the idea!

Score 1 for me!

Oh, and I also told him that I could only agree if he couldwatch a video of the surgery the entire way through. Has anyone's SO watched the video and still wanted to circ afterwards?

[chandni3]

I don't know about watching the video but I have a few friends who watched their sons get circumcised and were ok with it. One baby slept through the whole thing. But you have to do what's right for your sons. I don't have a boy but we'll circumcise for religious reasons even though my husband is not circumcised.

[my2sweets]

Thats great! Im so afraid this baby is a boy b/c I have a feeling dh wont like my stance...good luck mama.

[Shaunam]

I've heard of people watching the video and still doing it. I wouldn't use that as a condition to allow it. With my EX, the condition I gave was that he had to do all the diaper changes until DS was healed, because I didn't want to handle a wound and feel bad every time I saw it. BUT, in the end I never would have allowed it to happen, so I never should have even said it. I did finally get his dad on my side, but after he was mad for a bit because I simply refused. Now he thanks me for standing up to him.

The most convincing argument I seem to have is that it should be HIS choice...the owner of the penis. It can always be done later, but it cannot be undone. Why not leave it up to the kid when he becomes a man? It simple and easy. There would be no regrets. If he chooses it later, he can have adequate pain relief. Less chance of complications.

If he's worried that your son will notice the difference, tell him it shouldn't be a big deal. If he asks, tell him the truth...when daddy/brother was a baby, doctors thought it was a good thing to cut off that part, but we knew better when you were born, so we didn't do that.

My son is 7 and used to shower with his dad and he never commented on it. I don't know if he ever even noticed. He did once comment on the size difference...very loudly...in the middle of a crowded hallway in children's hospital. LMAO

[catrinagreene]

in NC where my son was born the dont do any actuall cutting, its a little plastic piece called the plasitibell (sp?) its stays on for i think it was on for a week and it falls off when its done. no special care needed just make sure theres no poopies on it

[Shaunam]

Originally Posted by catrinagreene in NC where my son was born the dont do any actuall cutting, its a little plastic piece called the plasitibell (sp?) its stays on for i think it was on for a week and it falls off when its done. no special care needed just make sure theres no poopies on it

Actually there is cutting involved with the plastibell, just as much with any other circ. They have to force the foreskin away from the glans with a blunt probe, then they have to make a dorsal slit to get the bell on. Once they tie the string around the ring to cut off the blood flow, they cut off the foreskin as close to the ring as they can, then the rest is left to necrotize and fall off.

There's no "gentle" way to do a circ. Even if they numb it, the shots are very painful and don't usually do a whole lot, which is why they have to strap the baby's arms and legs down.

[KaleidoscopeEyes]

Originally Posted by catrinagreene in NC where my son was born the dont do any actuall cutting, its a little plastic piece called the plasitibell (sp?) its stays on for i think it was on for a week and it falls off when its done. no special care needed just make sure theres no poopies on it

that's actually waaaaaay worse imo than traditional method

[Joyful Tie Dyes]

Yeah is you MUST circ insist on NO plastibell!

[wlillie]

My dh and I have watched the videos and done the research and we still circ. If you really don't want him circed you should use logic and not emotion if your dh is like most men.

[Shaunam]

I'm fairly certain they use the "gentle, no-cutting plastibell" scheme to convince parents no pain relief is needed. I've had many people tell me that their doctors told them it didn't involve cutting and it was not painful and "only takes a few minutes".

It makes me really sick that doctors think it is in ANY way ok to cut on a baby with no pain relief, but most circs are still done with inadequate pain relief.