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Old 05-27-2012, 03:01 PM   #21
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Re: TTC After Loss Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by itsajoi View Post
Screen Name/Real name: itsajoi/ Jena
m/c m/c date(s) at __ along: early March 2012 at 10 weeks
TCC after m/c starting: now I guess....

I hate to sound ambivalent about TTC, but I'm really not sure how I feel. I absolutely know I want more children, but I guess I'm sort of mad at my body (?) or something. I'm mad at the process. I think I've become more mad as I chart and see absolutely nothing that makes sense going on. Right now I'm having my period, I guess, but that consists of gushing bleeding (sorry, tmi) in the morning that dribbles away to nothing by evening. And I mean nothing. Am I supposed to call that a period? I had a temp spike for one day last cycle and then it plummeted and I started this silly period like stuff. I know I should be patient with my body, and it's not even that I'm so anxious to be able to get pregnant, it's just that I feel like my body is being a rebellious teenager or something and it's just annoying. Straighten up and do what you're supposed to already! Again, I realize it hasn't been that long but ugh. I'm pretty confident I haven't ovulated since the m/c at all...I guess I just have sort of lost confidence in my body in this area. I had a miscarriage for no apparent reason, and now it can't even ovulate and menstruate correctly? What makes me think it's going to be able to care for a growing baby correctly.

Wow. Sorry that was sort of a rant against myself. lol. Sorry! What an intro, huh?
Sounds like totally normal feelings to me but then again you and I m/c around the same baby growth and in the same month so...the blind leading the blind? I lost confidence in my body a LONG time ago. It takes us forever to get pregnant and then I lose this one, GRR! I haven't had a normal period either, in fact, I just stopped bleeding. I have heard that it can take a while for your body to ovulate again but most likely (but not all the time) you will ovulate before your next period. All that to say 2-3 times a week so you can catch that egg IF you want to be preggo again right away. I cannot wait to be preggo again and feel like if my body is ready it will happen, if it's not ready then it will not happen this cycle. A sad welcome to the group.

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Old 05-27-2012, 03:53 PM   #22
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Screen Name / Real name: lilbitcrunchy / Heather
m/c date(s) at __ along: 1/1/2012 (yep new year's day ) at 7 weeks 4 days
TTC after m/c starting: This cycle, 5th post mc

So I started off the new year losing a baby. We weren't trying and to this day I still don't know how we conceived. But we were both so happy and with it being Christmas it was so wonderful. My betas came back low and it was a mess from there of ups and downs. It was my third loss and I has just had one in July too so I got testing done. I have antiphospholipid syndrome so my body treats a baby like a disease Lovenox as soon as I get a bfp should do he trick though thank God. My cycles returned to normal pretty quickly. Lp was the same, just o'd late. Next one was fine. We waited the two cycles while I was doing tests and then DH got cold feet with TTC. It was only yesterday that I found out he was really scared about having another loss and all the issues that come with pregnancy in general. I had no idea it was that serious as he always took losses in stride as if nothing happened. It wasn't a "baby" yet to him. That made me feel so totally alone. So anyway, he said that this month we can try. Hopefully he doesn't switch again. I reassured him that I'll be fine. A few days ago when AF showed it marked a year since my second loss and I just broke down. Every now and then the "I should be pregnant" feelings hit me hard. Good luck to everyone and I'll try to respond personally when I'm on the pc. I need to put my chart link back in my siggy too.

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Old 05-27-2012, 05:24 PM   #23
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Re: TTC After Loss Thread

Screen Name / Real name: Craftin'Diva/Jeri
m/c date(s) at __ along: January 2012, not sure how far along as we took the month off and I have NO idea when I ovulated or how it happened but guessing around 6-8 weeks.
TTC after m/c starting: First cycle after loss

First, let me explain my not knowing how far along I was... Well, I had a normal period in December, BD'd on CD 7 and then started spotting on CD 9 and continued spotting for 10 more days (and there was no more BDing during that time) After the 10th day, I decided to test just to rule out pregnancy for the cause of the spotting. Imagine my surprise when I got a BFP, plus 5 more for the next 5 days. So either I ovulated SUPER early or I was pregnant from the previous cycle...which is my best guess. I still don't understand it.

We have been hoping for another for 5.5 years now... most of that was NTNP but have been trying hard since August of 2010. Our loss was so heartbreaking. After so long, we finally had a glimmer of hope when we weren't even trying and then had it taken away so quickly. We are kind of NTNP right now... although that's a bit hard for me as I have been charting for over 8 years so I usually know right when I ovulate...so we do always try to time it well but I try not to obsess. Yeah right!

Anywho, some of you I know already but hope to get to know you all! (Or not ... because you're pregnant with a sticky bean before I get the chance!)
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Old 05-27-2012, 08:08 PM   #24
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Re: TTC After Loss Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by twinpossible View Post
I am seeing the 20th but it's not too big of a change. If you got a positive opk then I would go on that as your 48 hour time block. This is why I only do cervix and CM charting, my temps are all over the place. Well it might be me cause I get up to take care of the girls sometimes and I am not great at doing it the same time everyday.
Thanks for taking a look! I decided to just stop tinkering with the darn chart and just wait it out.


Quote:
Originally Posted by itsajoi View Post
Screen Name/Real name: itsajoi/ Jena
m/c m/c date(s) at __ along: early March 2012 at 10 weeks
TCC after m/c starting: now I guess....

I hate to sound ambivalent about TTC, but I'm really not sure how I feel. I absolutely know I want more children, but I guess I'm sort of mad at my body (?) or something. I'm mad at the process. I think I've become more mad as I chart and see absolutely nothing that makes sense going on. Right now I'm having my period, I guess, but that consists of gushing bleeding (sorry, tmi) in the morning that dribbles away to nothing by evening. And I mean nothing. Am I supposed to call that a period? I had a temp spike for one day last cycle and then it plummeted and I started this silly period like stuff. I know I should be patient with my body, and it's not even that I'm so anxious to be able to get pregnant, it's just that I feel like my body is being a rebellious teenager or something and it's just annoying. Straighten up and do what you're supposed to already! Again, I realize it hasn't been that long but ugh. I'm pretty confident I haven't ovulated since the m/c at all...I guess I just have sort of lost confidence in my body in this area. I had a miscarriage for no apparent reason, and now it can't even ovulate and menstruate correctly? What makes me think it's going to be able to care for a growing baby correctly.

Wow. Sorry that was sort of a rant against myself. lol. Sorry! What an intro, huh?
I think all those thoughts are completely normal and part of the grieving process. I had (and have) those same kind of thoughts. I took my about two months to get my first period. I can remember telling DH several times how much I hated my body. And how I had no faith in it. I felt really frustrated by the wivestales saying you are more furtile the three cycles after when my body couldnt even get a cycle going. I started diving into infant adoption (which I have always wanted to do, but not later in life and not an infant) because I felt like I had no faith that I could recover from this, let alone get pregnant again and actually carry the baby to term. The more I read, though, I realized many women feel this way. So at least know that you aren't alone!

Quote:
Originally Posted by lilbitcrunchy View Post
Every now and then the "I should be pregnant" feelings hit me hard.
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Ohhh, me, too.
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Old 05-27-2012, 08:21 PM   #25
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Re: TTC After Loss Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by itsajoi View Post
Screen Name/Real name: itsajoi/ Jena
m/c m/c date(s) at __ along: early March 2012 at 10 weeks
TCC after m/c starting: now I guess....

I hate to sound ambivalent about TTC, but I'm really not sure how I feel. I absolutely know I want more children, but I guess I'm sort of mad at my body (?) or something. I'm mad at the process. I think I've become more mad as I chart and see absolutely nothing that makes sense going on. Right now I'm having my period, I guess, but that consists of gushing bleeding (sorry, tmi) in the morning that dribbles away to nothing by evening. And I mean nothing. Am I supposed to call that a period? I had a temp spike for one day last cycle and then it plummeted and I started this silly period like stuff. I know I should be patient with my body, and it's not even that I'm so anxious to be able to get pregnant, it's just that I feel like my body is being a rebellious teenager or something and it's just annoying. Straighten up and do what you're supposed to already! Again, I realize it hasn't been that long but ugh. I'm pretty confident I haven't ovulated since the m/c at all...I guess I just have sort of lost confidence in my body in this area. I had a miscarriage for no apparent reason, and now it can't even ovulate and menstruate correctly? What makes me think it's going to be able to care for a growing baby correctly.

Wow. Sorry that was sort of a rant against myself. lol. Sorry! What an intro, huh?
Jena, I don't know what others have said yet, but I think I've heard that it can take as many weeks as you were pregnant at the time of your loss for your body to get back on track...sometimes longer

I'm so thankful for this thread already....it can be terribly frustrating to struggle with making sense of why m/c happen and what is going on with our bodies....
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Old 05-27-2012, 08:25 PM   #26
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Re: TTC After Loss Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by lilbitcrunchy View Post
Screen Name / Real name: lilbitcrunchy / Heather
m/c date(s) at __ along: 1/1/2012 (yep new year's day ) at 7 weeks 4 days
TTC after m/c starting: This cycle, 5th post mc

So I started off the new year losing a baby. We weren't trying and to this day I still don't know how we conceived. But we were both so happy and with it being Christmas it was so wonderful. My betas came back low and it was a mess from there of ups and downs. It was my third loss and I has just had one in July too so I got testing done. I have antiphospholipid syndrome so my body treats a baby like a disease Lovenox as soon as I get a bfp should do he trick though thank God. My cycles returned to normal pretty quickly. Lp was the same, just o'd late. Next one was fine. We waited the two cycles while I was doing tests and then DH got cold feet with TTC. It was only yesterday that I found out he was really scared about having another loss and all the issues that come with pregnancy in general. I had no idea it was that serious as he always took losses in stride as if nothing happened. It wasn't a "baby" yet to him. That made me feel so totally alone. So anyway, he said that this month we can try. Hopefully he doesn't switch again. I reassured him that I'll be fine. A few days ago when AF showed it marked a year since my second loss and I just broke down. Every now and then the "I should be pregnant" feelings hit me hard. Good luck to everyone and I'll try to respond personally when I'm on the pc. I need to put my chart link back in my siggy too.

Sent from my iPhone using DS Forum
It is so odd the way men process a m/c....I can relate to what you said about how your hubby has taken it. I've had 2 losses and then this month's wondfo fluke....

hang in there! praying for a healthy pregnancy and baby for you soon!
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Old 05-27-2012, 08:50 PM   #27
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Re: TTC After Loss Thread

*leviandgarettsmom/Deanna
*12/21/11 @ 5w & 3/22/12 @ 8w5d
*Currently NTNP/planning to actively TTC after 1 more cycle


I am currently CD 30 of cycle 1 post m/c. AF is actually due today but she hasn't arrived yet. My 1st AF post m/c arrived 5 wks after my d&c and I'm pretty sure I O'd on schedule this time so kinda surprised she's not hear yet. I only use OPKs & don't temp so I'm not 100% sure.
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Old 05-27-2012, 10:09 PM   #28
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Re: TTC After Loss Thread

twinpossible- Thank you so much for starting this thread. What a great idea really. SS for your loss

Deanna- Oooh sound exciting, when will you test?

Runaway Bunny & Jena- I'm sorry your cycles are being so frustrating.

happymama1- I can't believe those wondfos mama, I'm so sorry! I'm trying Babi brand one step tests. They have good reviews on amazon and this past cycle I used them ( I test every month since we use NFP) and they were great. Not even an hint of a line to squint at so hopefully they're not prone to evaps. And yea men..sigh..I was just expected to go on with life making dinner after I've just said I'm miscarrying. Blah I can't let my mind bring all that up again, I still love the man but geez lol.

Have you all told anyone about your loss? Only my parents know about all of them, my inlaws know of 2 I think. Part of me wants to just share with whomever just so people know that yes it happens, and happens often. But on the other hand I don't really know what I'd want from people that know..pity? sympathy? IDK. It's just really lonely and if not for online boards like this and my girls depending on me, I just don't think I would have gotten out of bed some days.
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Old 05-27-2012, 10:19 PM   #29
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lilbitcrunchy
twinpossible- Thank you so much for starting this thread. What a great idea really. SS for your loss

Deanna- Oooh sound exciting, when will you test?

Runaway Bunny & Jena- I'm sorry your cycles are being so frustrating.

happymama1- I can't believe those wondfos mama, I'm so sorry! I'm trying Babi brand one step tests. They have good reviews on amazon and this past cycle I used them ( I test every month since we use NFP) and they were great. Not even an hint of a line to squint at so hopefully they're not prone to evaps. And yea men..sigh..I was just expected to go on with life making dinner after I've just said I'm miscarrying. Blah I can't let my mind bring all that up again, I still love the man but geez lol.

Have you all told anyone about your loss? Only my parents know about all of them, my inlaws know of 2 I think. Part of me wants to just share with whomever just so people know that yes it happens, and happens often. But on the other hand I don't really know what I'd want from people that know..pity? sympathy? IDK. It's just really lonely and if not for online boards like this and my girls depending on me, I just don't think I would have gotten out of bed some days.
Oh, no test needed. DH injured his knee (has a torn meniscus) a few wks ago so DTD has not been an option this cycle. He will probably have surgery the 2nd wk in June, thus the reason we're waiting one more cycle.
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Old 05-27-2012, 11:03 PM   #30
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Re: TTC After Loss Thread

lilbitcrunchy: I feel the same way, when ever I see a pregnant woman further along then I was when I lost the baby I think, "that should be me, I should be pregnant." It burns

Craftin'Diva: We weren't trying either since it is SO hard for us to get preggo we gave up. This baby brought so much hope and joy which all died along with him.

RunawayBunny: I think most of us hate or distrust our bodies. I have a hard time feeling sexy now. Maybe because I bled for a month or a whole hospital saw or touched an area that up till that point only a hubby and midwife had seen? I was joking with my mom that I am going to wear black lacys and fish nets under all mt clothes until I feel sexy again!

leviandgarettsmom: I have heard that the first period can be a fake one, maybe that's what happened?

lilbitcrunchy: I really put some thought into if we would tell people or not. We were waiting until the 2nd trimester to tell people we were preggo and lost the baby at 12weeks. I will post below what I did on Facebook, in the end I decided he was a life and people should know he was here even if it was for only 3 months on earth.
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