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Old 05-28-2012, 12:10 PM   #1
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want to wean....but not sure if I'm ready :(

My little one just turned 20 months.....she is so grown up in so many ways, but still loves to nurse before her nap, before bed, and 1-2x at night...plus the morning. I've been trying to cut her down to just before bed, but I'm not making any progress.

I had a miscarriage in April, and a miscarriage in between my younger 2 (while my DS was still nursing), and as someone who already has low progesterone (I've always taken supplements to sustain an early pregnancy), I think I need to wean in order to give another baby a better chance to stick.

However, I have mixed feelings....lots of emotions tied to this. My son weaned at 13 months because he had to have surgery on his tongue for a genetic problem, and never went back to nursing. I kind of vowed to nurse the next baby as long as he/she wanted because I was so traumatized/saddened by that experience.

Also, having had 2 early losses now....even though it is probably crazy...sometimes I fear that I will never have another baby (I'm 31....so I should still have plenty of time). But, you never really know! If I knew I could never have another baby, I would probably nurse my current baby until she was 3.

On the other side of the coin....I'm ready to be done. I'm ready to sleep all night...I'm ready to drop a few pounds that always stick to me as long as I'm nursing a little one...and I'm ready to find new ways to comfort my little one.

Any advice for me? I know my post is probably confusing, but I feel confused. I really am ready to let go....but I'm kind of sad about it

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Old 05-28-2012, 03:57 PM   #2
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Re: want to wean....but not sure if I'm ready :(

I don't have any advice but wanted to give you some hugs.

I'm experiencing some of the same emotions. DS weaned himself at 14 months because he got a horrible cold, had to choose to breathe over nurse at the time and then never went back to nursing. I was really sad it happened so early.

I also vowed to nurse my next baby as long as I could (and it took 4.5 years and IVF to get her here). But now she's 16 months old and much like your DD in that she's awake at least 1-2 times each night to nurse and also in the morning, nap, evening and sometimes other times. I'm ready for a full night sleep! And while the odds of getting PG on my own are nearly 0, I know it is pretty much 0 while BFing.

So I'm a mess of mixed emotions too. I'm not sure what the answer is!
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Old 05-28-2012, 06:14 PM   #3
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Re: want to wean....but not sure if I'm ready :(

thanks for the hugs mama....hugs for you too
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Old 05-28-2012, 07:49 PM   #4
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Re: want to wean....but not sure if I'm ready :(

What if you started with nightweaning to see how that made you feel about nursing and weaning? That way you could get a full night's sleep and see if you would still like to have a couple of nursing sessions during the day.

My DD is almost 4 years old and still nurses two or three times a day, but she has been nightweaned since she was about 2 years old. She nurses first thing in the morning, before "rest time", and right before bed (but not to sleep). It works for us.
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Old 05-29-2012, 11:06 AM   #5
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Re: want to wean....but not sure if I'm ready :(

Quote:
Originally Posted by VeganCupcake View Post
What if you started with nightweaning to see how that made you feel about nursing and weaning? That way you could get a full night's sleep and see if you would still like to have a couple of nursing sessions during the day.

My DD is almost 4 years old and still nurses two or three times a day, but she has been nightweaned since she was about 2 years old. She nurses first thing in the morning, before "rest time", and right before bed (but not to sleep). It works for us.
that sounds like good advice...and a good place to start. thanks!
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Old 05-31-2012, 04:37 PM   #6
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Re: want to wean....but not sure if I'm ready :(

In my experience with my two girls (just finished weaning my 21 month old), they both started sleeping through the night as soon as I weaned them, not really sure why, but it really helped me deal with any sadness about weaning. I wish you the best.. everyone's situation is a little bit different and I hope you find what will work best for you.
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Old 06-09-2012, 12:10 AM   #7
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Re: want to wean....but not sure if I'm ready :(

I would start with weaning the middle of the night feeding. I am still nursing my now 23 month old. I am planning to wean completely by 2 years (she is allergic to dairy so it just made sense to continue to nurse, plus she hasn't been ready to wean just yet). Right around 18 months or so I completely removed here middle of the night feeding. I simply tell her, "no milk until the sun is up". I nurse before bed, in the morning, and before nap. If my daughter isn't feeling well or going through a change, she would want to nurse. Teething also caused her to nurse more because she didn't want to eat as much solid food. She is now 23 months and while we have had some hiccups between when I removed her middle of the night feeding to now. When she walks into my room to nurse I bring her into my bed and remind her "mommy is sleeping, you can have milk when the sun is up. Time for night night." I give her a kiss and roll over so my back is to her. She then falls asleep and wakes up when the sun is up.

Just like for adults, kids are different when it comes to adapting to change. Some are quick and others can take anywhere from 3 - 7 days to adjust. During that time there will be some tears. Just rub your baby's back and give her kisses. She will understand the new routine in no time and you will be a much more rested mamma.

Once you have removed that feeding then you can decide whether you should keep moving forward. When I dropped my daughter down to 2 nursings, she became more whiney and restless. I brought her back to 3 nursings and she has been steady ever since. We leave for vacation in about 10 days. It will be her first time away from me for more then 24 hours. She hates drinking pumped milk so I am quite interested to find out how she will react with her caregiver. She turns 2 July1.

On a side note, I stopped nursing my son a week before he turned one. He honestly could care less. Then after my daughter came, he recognized the smell of my milk and would stare at my boobs with this perplexed expression. I just hold him and cuddle while we read a book, or rock him in my arms. He is now a little over 3 1/2 and still occasionally just wants to cuddle or be rocked in my arms without his sister around. It is a great bonding time for us, especially before bed.
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Old 06-23-2012, 08:38 PM   #8
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Re: want to wean....but not sure if I'm ready :(

First-congrats for breastfeeding your baby thus far! Second, it sounds like you really want another baby so maybe you should consult your dr/midwife on what's best to do concerning your hormone levels. I hope it works out for you no matter what you decide!
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Old 07-03-2012, 04:57 PM   #9
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Re: want to wean....but not sure if I'm ready :(

I wouldn't push it if your not ready. Bf is something you can never get back and it is so precious. I would wait until your fully comfortable and ready. I believe you will know when the time is right, you are blessed with mommy intuition after all!
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Old 08-25-2012, 04:10 PM   #10
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Re: want to wean....but not sure if I'm ready :(

Aww... I can totally relate. My daughter is 15 months and I think I'm the one that needs weaning. She nurses morning and night now but she doesn't seem that interested. Boo!
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