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Old 05-24-2012, 07:04 AM   #21
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Re: I'm furious.

I think it is okay to reprimand a child if your child is being hurt i.e. a little 8 year old boy punched my 4 year old in the nose at the park a few weeks back. While mom sat in the car, I didn't care, I told him "you do NOT hit my child, do you understand?" He ran to his moms car in which I heard her being a smart#&* later when we were leaving so she is lucky I didn't return the favor to her. I hate parents like her. Waste of space...

In this instance, I would definitely talk to the driver first but keep in mind, they are driving so they may not even know of the "kicking" instance. I pulled my 6 year old off the bus. He was being hit by a pencil from a 5 year old. It wasn't hurting him, but he yelled at the kid after telling him to stop numerous times..then called him a stupid bully. :-x oops. But the driver just told me that Miles had a mouth on him. She never even knew what happened. 2nd instance was Miles playing in the bus and I decided he was not ready to ride it. So maybe if your DD is doing flips on the bus..she is not ready either? IDK.

Another mom getting on the bus is just not okay and if the bus driver can't prevent that, it is time to find another bus driver.

Are they girls in the same class?

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Old 05-25-2012, 08:59 PM   #22
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I don't mean to derail, but did you involve the police? I would have no problem at all involving the police, even if the person doing the bullying was a minor.
No, we didn't involve the police. I didn't even know the choking occured until weeks after it happened, because my son wouldn't tell anyone; he just started acting different. The principal acted like there wasn't much he could do as the bus isn't technically school. I did involve the bus driver first, but he was so nonchalent about everything and wouldn't consider a seating chart for the younger kids. He said it was too much work.
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Old 05-25-2012, 09:27 PM   #23
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The real issue is just the mom getting on the bus......but does this mean she really got on the bus(I'm SURE the bus driver would have to report a mom yelling at another kid on the bus?), or does it mean she popped her head in and said....now, you two play nice today.......etc

Sounds a bit odd, but I can't picture any mom yelling on a bus or getting away with it?



Personally I do think it's ok to step in if needed directly to the child and not run to the parent each time. I've had numerous occasions with kids being mean to each other, not playing nice, a physical thing etc and if they are around me then I will certainly tell them what is ok and what is not. For some reason kids love to hang off the small tree's at our local parks. I've had to tell a few kids not to break the tree please, one kid was definately trying to break off a small branch. So, no parents around to tell them to stop it, then I will.



OP- your opening post reminded me of an incident that happenend with a girl cousin aged 5/6 a few years ago. Four of the kids(my 2, cousins 2) were in our home while we had a joint garage sale. I had sold a mattress and box spring, but put it in the house while the lady got her truck later that day. The four kids got up to no good(it was cold outside, that's why they were in) and climbed the boxspring and tore the backing. The reason I discovered it was because the girl asked me for a band aid as she hurt her knee climbing the thing in there(boxspring). I then got a bit mad at the kids for ripping it, then the girl turned around and told her parents that she didn't climb on it - despite the fact she told me that she had a bloody knee from climbing it. Her parents gave the famous line of .....well, she never lies........and believed her.

Just because you think she never lies, doesn't mean she really NEVER lies or rather their version of the truth. I would call my kindergarten son very very honest, he would have been in the never lies category. But once in a very blue moon I'll catch him twisting the truth a bit.


Waiting to hear what happened today OP........
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Old 05-25-2012, 09:29 PM   #24
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No, we didn't involve the police. I didn't even know the choking occured until weeks after it happened, because my son wouldn't tell anyone; he just started acting different. The principal acted like there wasn't much he could do as the bus isn't technically school. I did involve the bus driver first, but he was so nonchalent about everything and wouldn't consider a seating chart for the younger kids. He said it was too much work.
Things do happen on our bus....but...they take it very seriously if there are incidents. You would get banned from the bus and need to walk/drive if something really serious happened. One day there was a fight and the school bus went back to the school.
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Old 05-29-2012, 09:36 AM   #25
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Originally Posted by Vivhop98

No, we didn't involve the police. I didn't even know the choking occured until weeks after it happened, because my son wouldn't tell anyone; he just started acting different. The principal acted like there wasn't much he could do as the bus isn't technically school. I did involve the bus driver first, but he was so nonchalent about everything and wouldn't consider a seating chart for the younger kids. He said it was too much work.
That was the thing about our school. From the moment you stepped on grounds until the moment you stepped onto your property, it was school business. A couple of kids got in a fight across the street and teachers ran over, broke it up and they were suspended. It may not have always been practical or easy to enforce but a lot of kids (middle and high school) went home to empty houses so this was as much as the school could help. But if you were gonna fight, you better go drop your stuff at home first!

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Old 05-29-2012, 09:46 AM   #26
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Any updates?
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Old 05-29-2012, 01:24 PM   #27
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Re: I'm furious.

Try to piece together all parts of the story. THEN you should go to the principal with the whole story. The school should for sure address this other mom about boundaries and all that.

I would actually encourage you to send an email to the teacher and maybe the principal too before you go and talk in person. There are a few reasons for this:
1. You can edit as you go and keep yourself in check instead of losing your temper in public.
2. It provides documentation so that it is not so much of a "he said, she said" situation.
3. It will also serve as documentation if problems like this arise in the future. You'll be able to show that there is a repeat offender or a pattern, etc...
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Old 05-30-2012, 02:42 AM   #28
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I do have an update, just haven't had the time to post it...

I talked to the bus driver. He said the lady asked him to keep the two girls away from each other. He told her he would, as much as he can with a bus full of children. I told one of J's closer friends and also a patrol to keep the two away from each other too.

After talking to her teacher, I learned this wasn't a once or twice occurrence. It seems that J has been getting in trouble a lot lately at school, they just haven't told me about it. That bothers me for two reasons: if she's getting in trouble repeatedly, I'd like to know so I can talk to her about why it's unacceptable to act that way. And why wouldn't they tell me anyway if it's more than once or twice?

J knows what she did was wrong. I asked her teacher to give me a daily progress report on her behavior because I would rather know if she was "bad" at school that night than two weeks later.

I have a meeting with her school counselor this Friday. We'll see how things go from there. They want to know what I do at home to correct her behavior. She asked if there were any big changes in the home as well. The biggest one is me working now. Maybe this is her cry for more attention from me, so we'll have to have a talk about how she can nicely ask for more attention versus acting out.
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Old 05-30-2012, 07:40 AM   #29
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So the other mom did not yell at your kid on the bus? Is your dd acting out and the other girl was defending herself?

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Old 05-30-2012, 07:55 AM   #30
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Re: I'm furious.

Get talk with principal & other parent. I heard my kid being told I hate u several times a week by girl & asked teacher & then heard mine not to be nice once who is usually great at being nice to others at school.
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