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Old 05-22-2012, 11:54 AM   #21
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Re: Mourning a different type of loss...

I am so sorry you had to go through that and I'm sorry you feel so alone. People just do not get it. I had tears in my eyes reading your thread. I'm in a very, very different place, but I won't be having any more children either (after this one) and I am really struggling with it. Sure, I am so very thankful for the children I do have. Obviously, I love them dearly. But, I wanted at least one more after this. To top it off, this was twins and I lost one. No one understands that still having one baby does not take away the pain of losing the other. This pregnancy is wrought with all sorts of emotions and I can't even enjoy it. Honestly, it is devastating to have the choice to have more taken away from you. (Ours is due to primary infertility.) If we chose not to have more, that would be fine, but to not even be able to chose is really devastating (I can't even come up with another word.) I can't imagine how heart wrenching it would be to literally lose part of yourself as well. I am so very sorry. I know you feel alone, but you aren't. Our individual stories are different, but we still understand each other.


Heather SAHM to 6 who are 7 and under, including 2 sets of twins and our last little miracle, a surviving identical twin, born Oct 2012!

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Old 05-23-2012, 08:08 PM   #22
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I have no wisdom just I can't imagine what you are going through.
Alanna is Mama to DD Sequoia (8/8/07), DS Callum (12/12/12) DKitties Syd & Emily (4/4/03)
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Old 05-24-2012, 06:11 AM   #23
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I dont even know what to say. When something like this happens, out of our control, the feeling of helplessness is just overwhelming. I pray for peace for you mama.
Wife to Rashaan , Mommy to Miles, Jai, Laila and our angel baby2/12.
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Old 05-25-2012, 07:35 PM   #24
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Re: Mourning a different type of loss...

I'm so, so sorry for all you've been through - I agree with others that what you're feeling is perfectly natural given what you've endured. Wish I could offer any kind of advice - but hugs and prayers are yours.
grateful stay-at-homeschool mom to 5yo DD#2
missing spirit-baby DD#1 (left us @ 32w preg) and the little ones who only stayed a few weeks

*After 31 cycles TTC, DD1's soul has returned to us! EDD 2/27/18!!*
"Death can't stop True Love - it can only delay it for a while." - The Princess Bride
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Old 06-06-2012, 06:04 PM   #25
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Re: Mourning a different type of loss...

I still have a uterus, but I can't have anymore children either. I've had four c-sections and was told that was it. It wasn't smart or safe to have more and so we won't have anymore biological children and it's sad. I'm so sorry you're going through this! I wish I had more words. Like you, I am hoping we can adopt one more in the future. It's something I have always wanted to do...
-Kristi,wife(5/02), , HSing, CDing,SAHM to Andrew(1/00), Lukas(2/03),Lily (1/06),and Ian (5/09) !Sweet Gwen, stillborn, 12/26/11, angel baby 7/08 Free History plans and more here:
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Old 06-06-2012, 10:26 PM   #26
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Wife to Joe. Proud, tired mommy to Captain Destructive (6/09), Sir Screams-a-lot (8/10), and another little miracle due 3/13.
Trusting God brings life. Believing brings rest.
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Old 06-08-2012, 05:16 PM   #27
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I'm so sorry! That must be so hard!
I don't have any advice just wanted to offer : hugs:
Amanda- wife to DH. Mama to W (2010), L (2011), H (2013), K (2016)
Forever missing Jeremiah Asher (our angel lost to Anencephaly at 31 weeks)- November 6th, 2015
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Old 06-08-2012, 09:39 PM   #28
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So sorry. What a horrible experience. I too am dealing with the loss of my fertility but in the end it was my choice. (I get hyperemesis and after two pregnancies spent on IV's and in preterm labor my OB strongly suggested me not getting pregnant again) I get the same you have three beautiful children comments and it makes me feel immensely guilty as well. I second the therapy, considering it for myself and possibly anti depressants. ((hugs))
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