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Old 05-07-2012, 08:04 PM   #21
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Re: "dad"

As a grown adult that has had a step dad since I was 8 and I am now 28 I always called him "Jeff". I would still be devastated if they got divorced. He is my dad in every sense of the word and I really don't think what I called him would matter. Now, if it had ended while I was a child I'm not sure that it would have made as much of an impact on me because we hadn't been through all of the little things that made him my dad at that point. He is an amazing man to me that has been my everything. (My DH is jus like him)


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Old 05-08-2012, 11:58 AM   #22
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Re: "dad"

As long as you are serious, I would let them call him whatever they want.... Just make sure this is the real deal. I called my bio dad Steve and my step dad was dad and when I wasn't around him, Peter, but only if I needed to be distinct about who I was talking about, like around my bio dads mom or sister or something. He married my mom when I was 8, dated her since I was 5, but she kept refusing to marry him cuz she was scared of another failed marriage, and my bio dad had been very abusive so it took her a while to be ready. I remember him planning his last proposal... He involved me and my brother and we asked her if he could marry us We moved in with him about a year before they got married. They were very happy, and since his death, my mom can barely function, he was her everything. He died 5 years ago last month and it still devastates me.... He was my only "real" dad.... He would take care of me in the middle of the night when I was sick, drove me to my first dance, and gave me away when I got married. He is the only grandpa my kids know about, because my bio dad is NOT grandpa material.... I still can't believe he's been gone for 5 years
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Old 05-09-2012, 10:40 AM   #23
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Re: "dad"

I think personally I'd wait just a bit, and make certain it is permanent and that he knows how much it could hurt the children if he ever left for any reason. They obviously love him, though, and I'm happy that you've found happiness. Ultimately it is up to you, E and your children.

My children don't call DP "Dad" but they love him like a second dad, if that makes sense. He plays the stepfather role, in a way. They adore him and he plays with them, teaches them things, takes them out places like the park, etc., but doesn't discipline them or change diapers and he is respectful of the fact that while they adore him & think of him as a parental figure, he is not "Dad" to them. If they ever think up their own nickname for him or a variation of "Dad" then we would all be completely comfortable with that, but so far they only refer to him by his real name. We're not going to push them either way because as I said, we know in their hearts that they love & trust him like a step father and they've all pretty much known him their whole lives.
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Old 06-06-2012, 09:21 AM   #24
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Re: "dad"

If you REALLY trust this guy and know he's the one then I don't see a reason why it's not ok, just for the fact that a father is not just blood relation, its the person that is there for you and treats you like their own and raises you. It's the person that you know and love that means something to you.
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Old 06-06-2012, 04:51 PM   #25
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Re: "dad"

I wouldn't unless bio dad is out of the picture for good. My DSD has never called me mom. But when we are out together she tells people I'm her mom. Kind of weird but she calls her bio mom who she sees rarely and maybe over the summer "mom" and that is her mom. But she knows who has been there and raised her and who does things for her. I guess what I'm saying is, she knows who the "real mom" is regardless of what she calls me.
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Old 06-11-2012, 07:50 AM   #26
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Re: "dad"

you never know, they might not want to call him anything other than his name anyway. i never wanted to call my stepfather "dad" My mother got with him when i was 3 and is still with the man

and my boys dont call my DH anything but his name
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