Need input from parents who have adopted

[sunnymommy]

I wonder about how the legal part would work? How do you get a birth certificate when you don't deliver in a hospital? Would that cause any issues with baby going home with adoptive parents?

[pcjs]

Originally Posted by sunnymommy I wonder about how the legal part would work? How do you get a birth certificate when you don't deliver in a hospital? Would that cause any issues with baby going home with adoptive parents?

I don't think it would be different than a hospital birth. I would think the midwife files the birth certificate and what ever is legal in that state goes for the baby going home with the adoptive parents (i.e. need a court order, need a notarized statement from birthparents or agency or both).

[lovemyjgirl]

I don't think the legal part would be much different. I was in the room and cut the cord. Then stayed with BM the entire Hospital stay at her request. I made all the medical decisions for DD even before labor. It was a wonderful experience. Our attorney handled everything on the day of discharge. The hospital really had nothing to do with it other than assuming I was BM's mom and not the baby's AM. It would depend on which state and their laws. Like PP, I wouldnt open a specialized business, but its a great option.

[FindingMercy]

I would love to have a birthmom pick us who wanted a homebirth. I've had one myself and
Would pick to birth that way again should we end up pregnant again (not in the plan).

[Beth.]

.

[Badonkadonk Knits]

Because there is a wide variety of birthing experiences that women choose to have (or wish for), I think it would be a nice option to make available to a BM. I would hope that adoptive parents would respect her choice of birthing environment, respectfully voice any concerns to be addressed beforehand (which should be done prior to a hospital birth also). I imagine it could be a great experience to strengthen the bond between the two parties. That being said, I'm one of those adoptive parents who is ultra conservative regarding birthing and would wish for a NICU and a surgeon to be at our fingertips "just in case", so while a home-birth would be a stretch for my comfort level, if concerns were addressed beforehand and the legalities were all worked out, I'd do my best to support BM's decision. It was really important to me that our son's BM have the best birthing experience possible given her choice to place her baby for adoption - I wanted to do everything in my power and see those helping her do everything to make the whole experience be one she looks back on positively.

[kpixie]

I know this is an old thread, but I just wanted to add that this would be my perfect scenario!

[barbies24]

As an adoptive parent and hopeful to adopt again we would be fine with this option. We as adoptive parents would have been open to many options since you always want to take into consideration the biological parents feelings, needs and wants too. I think that this is less stress on everyone involved. I know many adoptive parents who would be fine with this too.

[fuzzynoodle]

I was able to witness my son's birth, and it was an amazing gift from his birthmom to me. She had a c-section and only one other person was able to be in the room with her, and that was me! Dad was waiting in the nursery for him.

That said, I think this is a tricky situation. Depending on your state's TPR (termination of parental rights) this may or may not work. In our case, my son was born in a different state where TPR was 72 hours, so we all felt comfortable with this option. However, if these was the state we live in, where TPR is 60 DAYS, I would not have chosen to be there for his birth as 1 in 3 adoptions fall though in our state during that waiting period. There would be too much uncertainty, and I would not have wanted to open my heart like that with those odds.

Make sense?

[againsttheoddsmom]

Originally Posted by fuzzynoodle I was able to witness my son's birth, and it was an amazing gift from his birthmom to me. She had a c-section and only one other person was able to be in the room with her, and that was me! Dad was waiting in the nursery for him. That said, I think this is a tricky situation. Depending on your state's TPR (termination of parental rights) this may or may not work. In our case, my son was born in a different state where TPR was 72 hours, so we all felt comfortable with this option. However, if these was the state we live in, where TPR is 60 DAYS, I would not have chosen to be there for his birth as 1 in 3 adoptions fall though in our state during that waiting period. There would be too much uncertainty, and I would not have wanted to open my heart like that with those odds. Make sense?

Makes total sence, I wouldn't want to open myself up to that much potential pain either. She is in Tx where TPR is 72 hours. She (the midwife) is lurking these boards somewhere... thanks for keeping the thread alive everyone!!