Protocol with younger siblings and parties

[pumkinsmommy]

It is not appropriate unless the parents have specially invited the younger one. A child that much younger would def. interfere with the older ones and their enjoyment.

[Computermama]

Not meaning to hijack, but it's a similar situation - what about siblings that are infants? My DD was invited to a classmate's party, she's 4.5, and I'm going to have my 8 week old with me. I've never met their family, so I'm not comfortable leaving her with them, and DH may or may not be home to leave my nursling with him - he works long hours in the summer. She'll probably spend the time in the mei tai. I believe it's just a house party, no admission fee.

[EmsMom]

I think it's awkward to stay at a party honestly. I totally understand not knowing families etc and not wanting to leave your child alone but as the hostess it's awkward to have a bunch of moms hang around while you're running around trying to wrangle a bunch of 5yr olds. I have had a mom ask in advance if she could stay because her son has some behavioural disorders and I was fine with that. But when I send out Birthday invites I am not intending on including parents in the party nor do I have food/drink made for them.

[tweety612]

Originally Posted by Computermama Not meaning to hijack, but it's a similar situation - what about siblings that are infants? My DD was invited to a classmate's party, she's 4.5, and I'm going to have my 8 week old with me. I've never met their family, so I'm not comfortable leaving her with them, and DH may or may not be home to leave my nursling with him - he works long hours in the summer. She'll probably spend the time in the mei tai. I believe it's just a house party, no admission fee.

This is different and IMO fine to bring a newborn.

I wouldn't bring a toddler unless I had nobody to watch him and I would insist on paying for him. This has happened when I hosted and I didn't mind.

Sent from my DROID4 using DS Forum

[luvsviola]

Originally Posted by stevensmom I would leave the younger at home. Tell them that this is a special day for his friend and that he will get plenty of opportunities other times.

This. Unless specifically on the invite, siblings stay at home.

Around here, parents don't stay at the 5 year old parties unless the invite specifically says they need to like at a jump place or pool or something. Most parties are 1.5-2 hours long and parents just leave a name and number, and come back. My 5 year old is self sufficient for 2 hours on her own a party.

[napua]

I always ask and also plan for siblings to be at our parties. In our case it's a bit different, we're military living in Germany. There are many times that one parent is deployed and there's no one to leave the siblings with.

[mcpforever]

Originally Posted by EmsMom I think it's awkward to stay at a party honestly. I totally understand not knowing families etc and not wanting to leave your child alone but as the hostess it's awkward to have a bunch of moms hang around while you're running around trying to wrangle a bunch of 5yr olds. I have had a mom ask in advance if she could stay because her son has some behavioural disorders and I was fine with that. But when I send out Birthday invites I am not intending on including parents in the party nor do I have food/drink made for them.

Interesting take. Here it is the exception for a parent to drop a kid off at a preschool age party (and here they are still in preschool when they turn 5). Most parents stay. Then there's a transitional age (K -2) where half the parents stay and the other half drop off. Shoot at my DS's TENTH birthday party (laser tag) we had about 5 parents stay. Granted they sat down and visited with each other, but still, they were there.

IME, having parents there turned out to be helpful (assist with crafts, cheer kids on during games, help pass out food) more often than not. Maybe it's the area?

[z2akids]

Only those invited to a party should be attending. At 5 years old, some parents are going to stay and some are going to drop and run. If you have a younger child who has not been invited to a party, the party should be able to accomodate you doing a drop off.

It isn't fair to the party goers to have a toddler at a party for school aged children, unless that toddler is invited. Toddlers are at a very different developmental level and they are likely to get mowed down by active 5 year olds. It is fairly common to read vents here on DS about unruly school aged children who aren't gentle enough with posters' toddlers. In this case, the school aged children should not have to worry about behaving in a manner that is conducive to a toddler.

[EmsMom]

Wanted to add that my son is 5 and when invited to a party I always ask if they need parents to stay. If they say no I leave At ds's last party a mom walked her two little girls over to the party, she brought her older 10yo dd with her and asked if the older daughter could stay too. I thought it was a bit rude honestly but said yes as my dd was ecstatic to have her there. If you want to stay I would make sure to ask in advance. But with your party being at a jumpy place I wouldn't want my 2yr old bouncing with a bunch of 5yr olds. They will get too rowdy to worry about a 2yr old getting trampled. I would personally tell your older son it's just a party for big boys and that you can all go together another time.

[champatlife]

Interesting.... I have never been to a party where it was appropriate to just drop off my kid and leave (then again weve only been to one classmates party ) and every single parent was there with their child. I think all our friends at prior duty station would be taken back if parents just left their kids (but oldest birthday girl was 7 that we attended. Argh, something new to think about. I knew the transition happened at some point, but always thought it was around age 9 to go parentless. Not 5.