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Old 07-05-2012, 10:07 PM   #21
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Re: lying to your kids....

I think the 'Music Truck' is brilliant.

but I will never use it.

Never too old to start teaching economics. "You can have 1 ice cream from the truck or mommy will buy you 2 icecreams from the store", etc. Maybe even special incentive jars - whatever you put in this jar is what you can spend at the ice cream truck.

that one is just too teachable to me.

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Old 07-05-2012, 10:41 PM   #22
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Re: lying to your kids....

[QUOTE=jen_batten;15351367] I don't lie to my kids. [QUOTE]

I know a few people said this, so this wasnt to single you out Jenn, but I do not think this is true in the slightest for anyone with children. The truth being bent could be seen as "lying", misreprenting (knowingly) could mean "lying"
I dunno, I just found myself rolling my eyes at this post.
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Old 07-05-2012, 10:46 PM   #23
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I disappoint my 2.5 year old quite often with reality. I can't lie if it were to save my life. I just tell the truth.

No, you may not have that now.
No, we don't eat candy before dinner.
Later.
Can you wait 'x' minutes?
I'm sorry, not right now.

I usually ask her if she wants to talk about it. She sits next to me and I try to explain it.

Diffusers after explaining why she is disappointed:
Can you help me ____ ?
Can I give you a hug/hold your hand?
Do you want to (insert something that will keep their attention)?

She doesn't yet grasp minutes, but does grasp later, tomorrow or another day.


Today, she whined over ice cream and began crying saying, "I'm not berry happy right now!" (whine, whine, whinge) I kneel down, and say, "I'm sorry you're upset. I know it's difficult to understand, and it makes you sad. Can I give you a hug? We can have ice cream after dinner. How about we _______ ?"
Her level of understanding is amazing! Now, it's "oh, Mom!!!". (That's fun to hear, lol.). But that's much better to me than her crying over everything.

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Old 07-06-2012, 03:03 AM   #24
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Re: lying to your kids....

Do we LIE to our kids? No.

Do we sometimes have creative truths? Yes.

An example: We will swing by the exotic pet store in the mall on occasion. My son (3.5) always wants to take home one of the 300lb giant turtles or a 50lb snake. Instead of explaining to him that 1) Mommy doesn't do reptiles, and 2) We don't have the space, and 3) Those things are freaking expensive, and 4) Mommy really doesn't do reptiles, I just tell him that Mr. Turtle and Mr. Snake live here, at the store. He thinks they can't leave because they would miss their family and friends. Do the reptiles currently live at the store, yes. Would they miss their family and friends, maybe. Is it the complete truth, no. Do I consider it lying, not at all.
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Old 07-06-2012, 04:30 AM   #25
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I tell my nephew that maybe means maybe yes or maybe no so I do t feel like a maybe is a lie. If the weather had cooled down you might have changed your mind so it actually was a maybe.
I can't stand the "we never lie to our kids crowd". We lie all the time when kids come home with crappy are or ugly jewelry we don't tell them it's ugly. We say it's beautiful and thank them. Plus sometimes the lies let kids be kids for just a little longer so I don't see the harm. I mean I believed in all kinds of stuff when I was a kid and it didn't damage me. Santa, tooth fairy, mo steers in the vents to keep kids from playing with them... It's all good with me. The only lies I don't tell are things like I'm going to take them somewhere or do something when I know I'm not. Those kind of lies damage a kid more then believing in Santa ever will.

Of course this is all just my opinion. lol
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Old 07-06-2012, 04:40 AM   #26
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Originally Posted by kferg
I tell my nephew that maybe means maybe yes or maybe no so I don't feel like a maybe is a lie. If the weather had cooled down you might have changed your mind so it actually was a maybe.
I can't stand the "we never lie to our kids crowd". We lie all the time when kids come home with crappy art or ugly jewelry we don't tell them it's ugly. We say it's beautiful and thank them. Plus sometimes the lies let kids be kids for just a little longer so I don't see the harm. I mean I believed in all kinds of stuff when I was a kid and it didn't damage me. Santa, tooth fairy, mo steers in the vents to keep kids from playing with them... It's all good with me. The only lies I don't tell are things like I'm going to take them somewhere or do something when I know I'm not. Those kind of lies damage a kid more then believing in Santa ever will.

Of course this is all just my opinion. lol
I just had to fix some misspelling. lol
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Old 07-06-2012, 08:26 AM   #27
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Re: lying to your kids....

[QUOTE=TwinMommaplus2;15357586][QUOTE=jen_batten;15351367] I don't lie to my kids.
Quote:

I know a few people said this, so this wasnt to single you out Jenn, but I do not think this is true in the slightest for anyone with children. The truth being bent could be seen as "lying", misreprenting (knowingly) could mean "lying"
I dunno, I just found myself rolling my eyes at this post.
Quote:
Originally Posted by kferg View Post
I tell my nephew that maybe means maybe yes or maybe no so I do t feel like a maybe is a lie. If the weather had cooled down you might have changed your mind so it actually was a maybe.
I can't stand the "we never lie to our kids crowd". We lie all the time when kids come home with crappy are or ugly jewelry we don't tell them it's ugly. We say it's beautiful and thank them. Plus sometimes the lies let kids be kids for just a little longer so I don't see the harm. I mean I believed in all kinds of stuff when I was a kid and it didn't damage me. Santa, tooth fairy, mo steers in the vents to keep kids from playing with them... It's all good with me. The only lies I don't tell are things like I'm going to take them somewhere or do something when I know I'm not. Those kind of lies damage a kid more then believing in Santa ever will.

Of course this is all just my opinion. lol
Really? I never realized there would be flack over not lying. I really, really do make every effort to never lie to my kids. When kids make you jewelry on Mother's day, you could say "Wow! You must have worked really hard on this!" Not lying, not hurting the kids feelings either. Or "thanks so much for making this for me--it's really special!" It is special, your kid made it, and you're not lying. Of course there has been times when I've said on X day, we're going to do this (swimming, or visiting, or whatever). And then someone has been sick, or it's been raining, or whatever and we can't go. So I say, okay, well sorry, we can't do this today because such-and-such is sick, or we can't swim when it's lightening or whatever. I guess maybe that could be taken as lying since I said we were going to do something and didn't, but I don't see it that way. And I do realize that not everyone agrees with my take on lying to kids (or to people in general), and that I can't speak for everyone, but as for me and my house we make every effort to never lie to the kids whether it is a big one or a tiny one. I don't want to be lied to, why would I want to do it to them?
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Old 07-06-2012, 08:49 AM   #28
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Re: lying to your kids....

Jen, we are like you. I agree with everything you said. I'm sure I can't say I 100% have never mislead them, because no one is perfect. But, I can't think of a time when I purposely did it. I do not tell my kids everything. Like, they don't know I have chocolate hidden on the top shelf in the pantry, but I also try not to lie to them. If they found it, I would tell them the truth, it's Mom's and not for you. Or, if mom and dad are being intimate and they ask why we locked our door, I would say we needed some private time. They don't need to know everything, but they don't need to be lied to either. In the example in the OP, I would have just told them it was too hot. They would have whined and I would have told them to stop it or get in trouble. As for the example of the jewelry or craft, I do think that everything my children make is beautiful because they made it and used their imagination. Just because it doesn't meet the adult standard of beauty doesn't mean it isn't beautiful. When I tell them it's wonderful or beautiful or creative or whatever, I mean it.

Of course, just my opinion. We each make our own parenting choices and those are mine.
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Old 07-06-2012, 09:04 AM   #29
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Re: lying to your kids....

[QUOTE=TwinMommaplus2;15357586][QUOTE=jen_batten;15351367] I don't lie to my kids.
Quote:

I know a few people said this, so this wasnt to single you out Jenn, but I do not think this is true in the slightest for anyone with children. The truth being bent could be seen as "lying", misreprenting (knowingly) could mean "lying"
I dunno, I just found myself rolling my eyes at this post.
Well... I said I don't intend to lie to them...(leaving room for my own imperfections and that I might do so unintentionally.) But I do try very hard not to lie to them because I do not think lying is right even if it seems like it would just be easier to lie to avoid other issues like whining and begging (which, IMO, need to be dealt with.) I guess I'm not really sure what you mean by bending the truth and if something is really lying, I would like to avoid it.
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Old 07-06-2012, 09:05 AM   #30
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Re: lying to your kids....

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Originally Posted by jefesita View Post
I agree with almost all of this. I would have straight up told them though that it was too expensive.
But if you were the OP that would be a lie, as she said the cost was not the real issue.
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