Reply Hey Mom! Learn more about the Gerber Life Insurance Grow-Up Plan!
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 07-12-2012, 01:44 PM   #1
Dillysmum
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: NW Arkansas
Posts: 62
My Mood:
Affairs (Physical and emotional)

So we talked about seperating and divorcing. My husband has had a physical affair and i just recently found out about an emotional affair. Might have turn physical had i not found out, I dont know.....

Any way, how have you dealt with this? Did you decide to split? My husband doesnt want to talk about anything that concerns us. When i bring anything up that bothers me he says im nagging. Ihave told him i want this marriage. I want to stay together but we HAVE to talk about this! If not we will divorce. Im not living this way. His response"At least if we divorce I wont have to hear you talk about talking" Seriously???? So im confused.....Im a SAHMwith no income and no family and a husband who i dont think really loves me. I honestlt feel he wants a divorce but doesnt want to be the one to ask for it. To be honest, Im starting to feel as I want one too. Just to be done....

What would you do?....

Advertisement

Dillysmum is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-12-2012, 01:48 PM   #2
EuphoricDysphoria's Avatar
EuphoricDysphoria
Registered Users
Formerly: laubear
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 2,080
My Mood:
Leave. For a marriage to work, both parties need to be on board. He sounds like he's checked out. No sense in living your life always trying to get his attention.
__________________
"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear." -- Ambrose Redmoon
EuphoricDysphoria is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-12-2012, 03:07 PM   #3
Dillysmum
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: NW Arkansas
Posts: 62
My Mood:
Re: Affairs (Physical and emotional)

Also, please don't judge! I was one who was never getting a divorce and my husband felt the same way. We always said that if things were to get bad we'd fix them. He has obviously changed his heart... I want him be part of our marriage but he doesn't want to. I can only do so much for us on my own.

I know I'm not the only wife and mother that has gone through this.....
How do you cope?
Dillysmum is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-12-2012, 03:19 PM   #4
JeDeeLenae's Avatar
JeDeeLenae
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Vegas
Posts: 22,118
My Mood:
Quote:
Originally Posted by EuphoricDysphoria
Leave. For a marriage to work, both parties need to be on board. He sounds like he's checked out. No sense in living your life always trying to get his attention.
I agree. He doesn't sounds like he really cares one way or another, and that doesn't make for a good marriage either.
__________________
~Cassie~ Single Mom to Jordan 9/04 and Jaxon 6/06 and Kelli 10/08 and 1/11 and Jevin 12/11
Check out my gallery! PM me for YYMN and other knitting needs.

JeDeeLenae is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-12-2012, 04:08 PM   #5
EuphoricDysphoria's Avatar
EuphoricDysphoria
Registered Users
Formerly: laubear
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 2,080
My Mood:
I really hope you get some more responses

I'd say try talking to him but he's so bloody disrespectful to you.

Honestly, you can't make him want to do anything. I'm someone who is all for no divorce either. But at the end of the day if one party wants out, you can't control it.
__________________
"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear." -- Ambrose Redmoon
EuphoricDysphoria is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-12-2012, 04:11 PM   #6
keen1981's Avatar
keen1981
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 12,360
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dillysmum
So we talked about seperating and divorcing. My husband has had a physical affair and i just recently found out about an emotional affair. Might have turn physical had i not found out, I dont know.....

Any way, how have you dealt with this? Did you decide to split? My husband doesnt want to talk about anything that concerns us. When i bring anything up that bothers me he says im nagging. Ihave told him i want this marriage. I want to stay together but we HAVE to talk about this! If not we will divorce. Im not living this way. His response"At least if we divorce I wont have to hear you talk about talking" Seriously???? So im confused.....Im a SAHMwith no income and no family and a husband who i dont think really loves me. I honestlt feel he wants a divorce but doesnt want to be the one to ask for it. To be honest, Im starting to feel as I want one too. Just to be done....

What would you do?....
Honest? Doesn't sound like he is committed to the marriage or to you
__________________
BFing, CDing, all natural mama to three boys! Certified lactation Counselor
keen1981 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-12-2012, 04:14 PM   #7
thealmightyme's Avatar
thealmightyme
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 3,319
Quote:
Originally Posted by keen1981

Honest? Doesn't sound like he is committed to the marriage or to you
I agree. Time to get an income.
thealmightyme is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-12-2012, 04:18 PM   #8
ittybittycoconuts
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 6,463
Re: Affairs (Physical and emotional)

Time to call the family law facilitator and start some divorce papers. He obviously doesnt care and you deserve to show your kids what it is to be in a healthy relationship so they dont grow up thinking this is how you treat the ones you love.
ittybittycoconuts is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-12-2012, 04:19 PM   #9
TaraB's Avatar
TaraB
Registered Users
seller
seller
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Cincy, Oh
Posts: 1,130
Re: Affairs (Physical and emotional)

ask him to attend counseling for the purpose of strengthening/saving your marriage. Personally I would do everything in my power to fight for the marriage and I would pray for DH's heart to soften and to have a desire to address the situation. However, everyone has free will and you cant force someone to fight for their marriage (ie your dh). If he choses to leave try to work on the healthiest divorce for the kids.
__________________
Tara~Married to my wonderful DH and mama to my DS#1 4 years old and DS#2 2 years old
TaraB is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-12-2012, 04:28 PM   #10
dancingingrace's Avatar
dancingingrace
Registered Users
seller
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 553
My Mood:
Re: Affairs (Physical and emotional)

Quote:
Originally Posted by TaraB View Post
ask him to attend counseling for the purpose of strengthening/saving your marriage. Personally I would do everything in my power to fight for the marriage and I would pray for DH's heart to soften and to have a desire to address the situation. However, everyone has free will and you cant force someone to fight for their marriage (ie your dh). If he choses to leave try to work on the healthiest divorce for the kids.
This. , mama....I know how tough it can be when things are going wrong. As terrible as it may be right now, IF you can get things worked out via counseling, it will be so worth it in the end, promise!!! If he wants no parts of it, DO pray, but don't beat yourself up. You're only one half of the team, you can't carry it all.
dancingingrace is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Copyright 2005 - 2014 Escalate Media. All Rights Reserved.