Diaper Swappers

mcpforever · 07-17-2012, 02:04 PM

So the birthday party thread got me thinking. NONE of my family lives in town. None. The closest is my sister and she lives 3 hours away. So when we all manage to get together it's kind of a big deal and it doesn't happen very often.

So we combine extended family celebrations. It seems unreasonable to me to expect them to come (we are the central location) twice in one month just to make my kids feel special. It also seems kind of mean to make them choose which time to come. No matter how I explain it, the kids aren't going to quite get that it worked out for them to come to one birthday, but not the other. And then of course, they won't remember correctly if we attempt to rotate.

Now, that doesn't mean that we don't make a little cake and celebrate right at home with just the 5 of us on the very day. It doesn't mean that they don't get to have a special peer focused party of their own. (This starts at the 4th birthday since they seem to have a clue by that age.) It just means that extended family gets in on the fun all together.

But some of the responses to the other thread made me wonder about if your kids happened to share the exact same birthday or were twins.

Am I just a weirdo?

EmilytheStrange · 07-17-2012, 02:22 PM

We don't live close to family at all. About 24hours of straight driving to get back home, so about 4days trip by car.

When we do go home, it's often a combination of holidays and birthdays. My birthday is in January, as is my BIL, so Christmas could also be a time to celebrate the January birthdays. All together.

My baby shower was a combination shower for us, birthday party for my cousin, niece and mother. Oh and I brought my nephew a gift as well since his birthday was coming up.

I honestly think that's sort of the point of family. I completely understand being upset that someone just assumed they were part of a joint party. Especially if you've done all the work and bought all the things - they did nothing, but expect to profit from it. But, I don't understand insisting that things be separate if the possibility of combining them is brought up in the planning part.

I mean, how many children's birthday parties do people really want to attend? It's exciting for the kid, possibly exciting for the parents, but for the guests? It's 2 lost Saturdays. Instead, a big family party seems to be most appropriate.

but that's just me.

I wish we lived closer to home, I think it'd be awesome to do a joint birthday party with my nephew, who will be 4 and my daughter who will be 2 - both in late September.

isabelsmummy · 07-17-2012, 03:35 PM

We often combine parties here for that reason. I have a friend who has 2 kids with closer birthday parties and they combine them until the kids are older and just have their own 'friend' parties. Kids don't care! They all get their own presents and really that's all they care about! As long as there is a photo of a child at his/her birthday party for the photo album you have done your parental duty on the birthday front!

The other poster's situation was odd in that no one had discussed it...that's just weird.

mcpforever · 07-18-2012, 11:20 AM

Oh, yeah! The situation that sparked the other thread is different and I would be a bit put off about the presumptions and assumptions that happened in her situation. There were just several posts that flat out said that they don't do joint parties ever.period.end of story (without addressing the hijacking aspect at all) that got me wondering. (I always thought that sentiment was reserved for the bride!) I'm guessing they all have family that lives close by?
ETA: And this is the same forum where someone started a thread complaining about the many birthday invitations they got from school friends. I recognize not the exact same people though!

raymark · 07-18-2012, 11:53 AM

We don't do joint b-days ever and live 5-11 hours away from all of my children's cousins. I do however have 3yr old twins so their b-days are celebrated on the same day, but as individually as possible.

I am very close to my extended family, but birthdays and Christmas day are always 110% reserved for our family only.

tallanvor · 07-18-2012, 12:12 PM

We don't combine birthdays unless we are with family or family is with us. The only time it ever seems to happen is with my oldest. If we are in Michigan with family around her birthday, she'll share a celebration with her cousin (now probably two cousins -- one was born last September), and one occasion her dad. However, it is so rare. I think it's happened maybe twice in 11 years, though it'll happen this year. But, she gets a friend party once we get home.

Our younger two have birthdays 6 days apart and they have never had a combined party. In fact, we usually do DS early and YDD a little late so there is plenty of space between them. But, we live far from family. I think one year my FIL was visiting during their birthday week, but we still didn't combine. Just did a cake on DS's birthday, then a cake on YDD's birthday.

luvsviola · 07-18-2012, 01:34 PM

My family lives in town. We combine all the time. My birthday is Jan 23 and DD's is Jan 24 and my grandpa's is the first week of February. We do one party. DH's is March 13 and DD2's is March 17. They did one party. We almost put DS (April 4) in there too, but at the last minute decided not to since it was DD2's first birthday. But it is a lot of parties in quick succession since DH's family lives 4 hours away and comes to all of them.

There aren't any other cousins yet, but I'd have no problems having the family party include them too. Then, we do private "Friends" parties for DD1 and DS to invite their kiddie friends from preschool.

No one here is all that hung up on it. Everyone gets presents, and that is all that really matters!

Our rule for Christmas is that we spend the morning in our house. Anyone is welcome here on Christmas. I host Christmas Eve for the family (about 25 people) here every year, then we go to 8:00 church. On Christmas afternoon, we go to my moms. Then, the next day, we go down to DH's fam about 4 hours from here for 2-3 days.

For Thanksgiving, we always do ours with my fam on Thursday, then go to DH's family Friday/Saturday.

EmilytheStrange · 07-18-2012, 01:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by luvsviola

Our rule for Christmas is that we spend the morning in our house. Anyone is welcome here on Christmas. I host Christmas Eve for the family (about 25 people) here every year, then we go to 8:00 church. On Christmas afternoon, we go to my moms. Then, the next day, we go down to DH's fam about 4 hours from here for 2-3 days.

For Thanksgiving, we always do ours with my fam on Thursday, then go to DH's family Friday/Saturday.

My sister has a similar rule for Christmas. But, she doesn't insist upon it being on the 25th. If they have concrete plans for the 25th, then they have their Christmas another day. But they do not allow anyone else to attend and it is at home. Immediate family only. We were in town for the like 1 time in a year and we still weren't allowed to come to their Christmas morning.

although you said anyone can come, but it's at your house. So, similar, but not the same

Nerissa · 07-18-2012, 03:35 PM

DH's family (2 sisters and parents) live 6hrs from us and one sister right in the middle between us and the rest. So a 3 hr drive for us. We have always combined holidays and birthdays when we get together. We get together every 3 or 4 months. There are 10 adults and 5 (almost 6) kids.

We usually meet at DH's one sister since everyone can make that drive in one day. With everone's work schedules Sundays are about the only day everyone has off.

For example our one nephew's birthday is Dec. 19th so we get together sometime in December or early january for 2 days. One evenign we do Christmas and one evening we do nephew's birthday. If we bump it to January then we add in DH's b-day (jan.) his 2 sisters (jan.) and mom (feb). If not we dont' worry to much about adult b-days.

We try to celebrate all the kids' birthdays at least within the month.

I am just very glad his one sisiter is always willing to host us all at her house.

07-17-2012, 02:04 PM	#1
mcpforever Registered Users Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Bama Posts: 11,106 Ratings: 37 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	S/O Sharing time when distance is a factor So the birthday party thread got me thinking. NONE of my family lives in town. None. The closest is my sister and she lives 3 hours away. So when we all manage to get together it's kind of a big deal and it doesn't happen very often. So we combine extended family celebrations. It seems unreasonable to me to expect them to come (we are the central location) twice in one month just to make my kids feel special. It also seems kind of mean to make them choose which time to come. No matter how I explain it, the kids aren't going to quite get that it worked out for them to come to one birthday, but not the other. And then of course, they won't remember correctly if we attempt to rotate. Now, that doesn't mean that we don't make a little cake and celebrate right at home with just the 5 of us on the very day. It doesn't mean that they don't get to have a special peer focused party of their own. (This starts at the 4th birthday since they seem to have a clue by that age.) It just means that extended family gets in on the fun all together. But some of the responses to the other thread made me wonder about if your kids happened to share the exact same birthday or were twins. Am I just a weirdo? __________________ Melissa-Wife, mother to DS 4/02 and DD 4/07, DS 7/08 Due 7/13 with a little lady ISO: my lost shaker of salt

07-17-2012, 02:22 PM	#2
EmilytheStrange Registered Users Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: Mountain Home, ID Posts: 6,251 My Mood:	Re: S/O Sharing time when distance is a factor We don't live close to family at all. About 24hours of straight driving to get back home, so about 4days trip by car. When we do go home, it's often a combination of holidays and birthdays. My birthday is in January, as is my BIL, so Christmas could also be a time to celebrate the January birthdays. All together. My baby shower was a combination shower for us, birthday party for my cousin, niece and mother. Oh and I brought my nephew a gift as well since his birthday was coming up. I honestly think that's sort of the point of family. I completely understand being upset that someone just assumed they were part of a joint party. Especially if you've done all the work and bought all the things - they did nothing, but expect to profit from it. But, I don't understand insisting that things be separate if the possibility of combining them is brought up in the planning part. I mean, how many children's birthday parties do people really want to attend? It's exciting for the kid, possibly exciting for the parents, but for the guests? It's 2 lost Saturdays. Instead, a big family party seems to be most appropriate. but that's just me. I wish we lived closer to home, I think it'd be awesome to do a joint birthday party with my nephew, who will be 4 and my daughter who will be 2 - both in late September. __________________ SAHM to Magnolia May (09/10) and Luke Russett (04/13) and wife and best friend to my airman.

07-17-2012, 03:35 PM	#3
isabelsmummy Registered Users Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Vancouver, BC Posts: 2,617 Ratings: 2 Feedback: 100%	Re: S/O Sharing time when distance is a factor We often combine parties here for that reason. I have a friend who has 2 kids with closer birthday parties and they combine them until the kids are older and just have their own 'friend' parties. Kids don't care! They all get their own presents and really that's all they care about! As long as there is a photo of a child at his/her birthday party for the photo album you have done your parental duty on the birthday front! The other poster's situation was odd in that no one had discussed it...that's just weird.

07-18-2012, 11:20 AM	#4
mcpforever Registered Users Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Bama Posts: 11,106 Ratings: 37 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	Re: S/O Sharing time when distance is a factor Oh, yeah! The situation that sparked the other thread is different and I would be a bit put off about the presumptions and assumptions that happened in her situation. There were just several posts that flat out said that they don't do joint parties ever.period.end of story (without addressing the hijacking aspect at all) that got me wondering. (I always thought that sentiment was reserved for the bride!) I'm guessing they all have family that lives close by? ETA: And this is the same forum where someone started a thread complaining about the many birthday invitations they got from school friends. I recognize not the exact same people though! __________________ Melissa-Wife, mother to DS 4/02 and DD 4/07, DS 7/08 Due 7/13 with a little lady ISO: my lost shaker of salt Last edited by mcpforever; 07-18-2012 at 11:21 AM.

07-18-2012, 11:53 AM	#5
raymark Registered Users Join Date: May 2009 Location: Kansas Posts: 1,454 Ratings: 16 Feedback: 100% My Mood:	Re: S/O Sharing time when distance is a factor We don't do joint b-days ever and live 5-11 hours away from all of my children's cousins. I do however have 3yr old twins so their b-days are celebrated on the same day, but as individually as possible. I am very close to my extended family, but birthdays and Christmas day are always 110% reserved for our family only.