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Old 07-19-2012, 12:24 PM   #71
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Re: I know this has been discussed a million times.

You're not selfish at all, circumcision is a permanent thing, and eventhough you can restore it, it will not bring back the actual nerve endings, etc. You're DH is being a little immature saying that it's gross and he refuses to change a diaper if you don't do it.

I would just try another heart to heart and let him know that you understand his feelings, but that this is something that the AAP actually says there is no need for the majority of boys to have it done and it's something that cannot be undone. Try to make it short and simple without all the other stuff. In the end, just don't consent to it.

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Old 07-19-2012, 12:25 PM   #72
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Re: I know this has been discussed a million times.

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I agree with a lot of what you say except that the child is not theoretical, he is a boy and due in a couple of months so a decision must be mad.
I understand that. I was talking about her husband's perspective. The intellectual knowledge that you have a boy due in a few months isn't the same thing as holding a fully-formed, breathing son in your arms (vis-a-vis this discussion). The idea of a normal, healthy newborn IS theoretical to him at the moment, as is the idea of circumcising it. That's all I meant. It was no judgment of him or reflection of the child's integrity.

By the same token, I don't agree that they necessarily need to come to an agreement right this instant. The only course of action that isn't reversible is actually circumcising the baby, and as you said, the baby won't even be here for several more weeks. Hence, there's no need to force the issue today.
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Old 07-19-2012, 01:45 PM   #73
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Re: I know this has been discussed a million times.

I would suggest to him that since it can always be done later, that you wait for now, and if he wants it done later, that you will support him and do it then.
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Old 07-19-2012, 03:31 PM   #74
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Re: I know this has been discussed a million times.

What a PITA situation to be in. Definitely stress you don't need.

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Our good friends are having the same debate. She thinks it's completely unnecessary and her brother is intact and just fine. Her DH is circ'd and is playing the "look like daddy" card. She's really not sure how to handle it because she feels like since she doesn't have a penis, she just doesn't understand.
I don't get the "look like daddy" rational, either. So if dad gets one of his front teeth knocked out, the kid will have his tooth removed too? Where does the line get drawn?

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My husband left it up to me. He said that if there are any ill effects in the future it will be on me! Like if he 'gets made fun of' in the locker room it will be my fault. Just straight tell him you aren't getting it done unless he can come up with a good enough reason to do it and 'because everyone else does it' isn't a good reason.
When the threat of debate was brought up with my ex-husband, before we knew we were having a girl, that was really my stand point. It's against my morals and I just wasn't willing to negotiate something so important because of his loose rhetoric.
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Old 07-19-2012, 04:31 PM   #75
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Re: I know this has been discussed a million times.

Just wanted to thank everyone for all their advice and mainly support.

My husband just called a few minutes ago, and said, "so, I've been thinking about it all day. If its something you really don't went done, you have my support. I don't want to fight about this anymore."
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Old 07-19-2012, 05:07 PM   #76
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Re: I know this has been discussed a million times.

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Just wanted to thank everyone for all their advice and mainly support.

My husband just called a few minutes ago, and said, "so, I've been thinking about it all day. If its something you really don't went done, you have my support. I don't want to fight about this anymore."
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Old 07-19-2012, 05:36 PM   #77
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Originally Posted by champatlife
Just wanted to thank everyone for all their advice and mainly support.

My husband just called a few minutes ago, and said, "so, I've been thinking about it all day. If its something you really don't went done, you have my support. I don't want to fight about this anymore."


Great job standing up for your son!
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Old 07-19-2012, 05:41 PM   #78
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Re: I know this has been discussed a million times.

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Originally Posted by sarchamar View Post
I understand that. I was talking about her husband's perspective. The intellectual knowledge that you have a boy due in a few months isn't the same thing as holding a fully-formed, breathing son in your arms (vis-a-vis this discussion). The idea of a normal, healthy newborn IS theoretical to him at the moment, as is the idea of circumcising it. That's all I meant. It was no judgment of him or reflection of the child's integrity.

By the same token, I don't agree that they necessarily need to come to an agreement right this instant. The only course of action that isn't reversible is actually circumcising the baby, and as you said, the baby won't even be here for several more weeks. Hence, there's no need to force the issue today.
Gotcha!

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Originally Posted by champatlife View Post
Just wanted to thank everyone for all their advice and mainly support.

My husband just called a few minutes ago, and said, "so, I've been thinking about it all day. If its something you really don't went done, you have my support. I don't want to fight about this anymore."
That is wonderful!
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Old 07-19-2012, 06:51 PM   #79
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Re: I know this has been discussed a million times.

I didn't read through all of the responses. Both of my sons are circ'd and I can only post this to "help". My husband and I tend to get into emotional arguments over things that concern the kids. It is almost like he feels like I always think my way is right (which I usually do..lol). So my best advice would be to send him an email when you are not mad. Link him to all of your information. Tell him you don't want to make a decision about something so important without him supporting you because that is what spouses do. Tell him to watch the videos of it being done, read everything, (if you are Christian) pray about it. Then revisit it later when you have had a chance to cool off. This is a touchy subject I think for both mom and dad.

In the end, you are the mother and you don't have to consent to the procedure but I would never go that route unless it was my very last option.
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Old 07-19-2012, 07:28 PM   #80
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Originally Posted by champatlife
Just wanted to thank everyone for all their advice and mainly support.

My husband just called a few minutes ago, and said, "so, I've been thinking about it all day. If its something you really don't went done, you have my support. I don't want to fight about this anymore."
Yay! I'm glad there is a resolution to this!

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