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Old 07-07-2006, 02:14 AM   #21
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Re: AP Parents Friends with Non-AP parents

Oh dear God, that was the funniest thing I think I've ever read! Sorry, but I'm LMAO right now! Everything you've thought has run through my head at least once!
My daughter was kicking and screaming today for whatever reason she had, i'm sure it was all my fault, like I wouldn't let her run outside naked or something evil like that! She's two, btw. So, I try and pick her up to put her in her room- until she can act human again, and she's flailing her arms and legs so much, that rather than get kicked- again- I just picked him up by her ankles and carried her off! It was so funny! She even stopped screaming b/c she didn't know what the heck I was doing!
When I took Ashton to get his pic done at JCPenny, I thought it would be fun to take Hailyn along too. HA! By the time we left, she had pulled her pants down and was running around the store like a crazy person! I was the person that other people look at and say "why can't that lady control her kid!" So I caught her, tucked her under my arm, like a football, and we left. Fun times. It was my fault though b/c she didn't have her nap. We don't miss naps anymore!
Sorry to laugh at your misery, but I've been there too. Everyday...

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Old 07-07-2006, 02:32 AM   #22
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Re: AP Parents Friends with Non-AP parents

I found this on an AP site just now. It is talking about ways to handle public tantrums.

Solution #3: When a tantrum starts, put your face next to your child's ear and announce, "Stop now or we go out to the car." If he doesn't stop, pick him up or lead him to the car. Sit him in the back seat while you stand outside the door (or, in foul weather, sit in the front seat and pointedly ignore him). An alternative to the car is to find a secluded bench or quiet corner. If he doesn't stop quickly, and you can change your schedule, go home. Send him to his room for a specified time (about 3 minutes for every year of age, for example, 15 minutes for a five-year-old.) The extra time it takes to do this once or twice will establish great credibility and can save you from many painful hours at the mall with an obstinate teenager.
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Old 07-07-2006, 04:11 AM   #23
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Re: AP Parents Friends with Non-AP parents

we are friends w/ a few ppl. who aren't ap parents and they always ask why our dd's are so well behaved. And I think its b/c they get a lot of attention and we don't yell at them we always talk in calm voices when they do something wrong and just try to explain whats ok and whats not. But dh's friends wonder why their 3 yr. old doens't listen but she gets no attention and then when she does something bad they just yell and yell at her and it really hurts me too just to see this little girl begging for some affection and the only way she can get any thing out of her parents is to be bad.
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Old 07-07-2006, 01:47 PM   #24
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Re: AP Parents Friends with Non-AP parents

ugh, reading stuff like that akes me feel so icky!! I work a few hrs a week at the mall, and see (IMO) such poor parenting!! It makes me want to scream!! DH and I have never been in that sit, but all our babies are still babies, except our 5 yr old who is perfectly behaved... my sister, however, who I do not get along w/ at all, is like that... it makes me want to go hug my neices (which I do) and take over the situation (which I do). I cant tolerate that kind of parenting... it makes me feel sick.
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Old 07-08-2006, 06:05 AM   #25
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Re: AP Parents Friends with Non-AP parents

Our daughter hasn't even been born yet and I STILL completely feel for you in every way.
I was raised in San Francisco, and my mother as well as nearly every couple that I was exposed to as a child and as an adult were what I would consider "AP" style parents. So, it it very much a part of my identity and how I plan to raise my children as well.
However, now living in the heart of the South, AP parents might as well be liberal/homosexuals for the way we are looked at out here. I swear, you tell someone you are into cloth diapers/non-circumcision/natural birth/organic food/hollistic medicine etc and they immediately get this "look" on their face....like you are mentally ill and need to be slapped into reality.
I don't think my husband or I know a SINGLE individual or couple who I would consider at all AP, and frankly I doubt most of our friends are even familiar with what Attachment Parenting even is.
It makes me feel sad, really. To know that it is going to be so difficult to find friends and playmates for our children who are of a like mindset.

We are friends with one particular couple at church, but it's difficult for me sometimes. They have 4 children together and are a truly beautiful family. Their children are well adjusted, happy and very polite...HOWEVER, they practice spankings ritually. And whats worse is that there is actually a big piece of oak board that they use to threaten spankings. It looks like a paddle, but I swear all they have to do is touch it and those kids go completey silent. The first time I saw that it took every ounce of my self restraint to not burst out and ask them to explain why the hell they feel something like that is necessary.
Of course, I have come to realize that here in the south, a "wooping" is typical....not only typical, but ENCOURAGED! I can't even count how many moms or dad's I have seen in public who tell their children "you shut your mouth or you're gonna get a woopin!". And it is not at all uncommon to drive through a parking lot here and see a mom rear up and slap her child on the rear end.
I think I am still in culture shock here....but I also know that I am probably going to come off as a "snob" to people at church and that I work with because I am not going to want our families to be super close friends. I just can't see how exposing myself or my children to family styles SO different from our own is in any way going to be beneficial. And I also would be a little afraid that if I left my child with one of those people they might consider a spanking "appropriate" punishment for my son or daughter as well.

Sorry for waffling on here....I just had a million thoughts course through my head when reading this post.
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Old 07-10-2006, 03:14 AM   #26
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Re: AP Parents Friends with Non-AP parents

My brother and I had never been spanked, although as a teenager, I probably did a few things to really desereve a good ***-whoopin' (yes, I'm from Tx!). As we got older and more annoying, my mom would tell us she was going to put the belt on the back of the couch. We'd always have some sort of sarcastic remark and run off to our rooms before she could get us. Aaaah the good ol' days! It was fun!
Sorry, I was having a nostalgic moment, and wanted to share!
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Old 07-10-2006, 09:15 AM   #27
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Re: AP Parents Friends with Non-AP parents

i havnt taken the time to read pp yet cause i wanted to comment first.

i WOULD BE FLOORED if i heard a parent say that to their child! Elliott (our 2yr old) has slipped up while out to dinner (aka misbehaving) in which case we have calmy told him he better straighten up or he will have to go to time out (thats what dh tells him)thats as cruel as it gets! i on the other hand am a huge softy to my boys and ask elliott to behave. in which case it actually works. i would feel very uncomfortable around a couple that treated their children that way and it would sour me to wanting to be aroudn them too. if my child/children are not behaving for dinner even after asking them to behave we simply pack up and leave. (end of story) we ask him to behave, give him another couple trys to correct their behaviour and if they dont than thats it. we leave and dont say another word about it. (no tv in truck if he was really bad) i dont think that its right to threaten a child in any way shape or form.
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Old 07-10-2006, 02:50 PM   #28
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Re: AP Parents Friends with Non-AP parents

I wouldn't say I'd be defined as an APer but I have some AP tendencies. I definitely have friends who do some things differently than we do. I just try to tell myself that we are all doing what we think (at least I hope!) is best for our kids - the choices may be different, but we all have the best of intentions. If I feel that they do NOT have the best of intentions, then I may question the friendship, KWIM? If a parent is spanking their child b/c they truly feel its the best thing to teach their child I'd see that alot differntly than a parent who strikes out in anger or enjoys spanking for the sake of it - does that make sense?
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Old 07-10-2006, 07:57 PM   #29
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Re: AP Parents Friends with Non-AP parents

I am sorry to but into a post but I started to read this post and now I am curious as to what AP and NON AP parenting is? I am interested in this. As far as your friends go, I don't agree with what they did putting a child in a car alone making them think you are not there is just horrable in my opion. I was just curious. Sorry to butt in,
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Old 07-10-2006, 10:36 PM   #30
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